Hello, fabulous!

You asked for it. Literally.

You left comments, you sent DMs, you texted the word choreplay to your best friend at 11pm on a Tuesday and then reported back. The Sandrapop Glossary has officially become a thing, and I am absolute giddy about the buzznami I’ve created.

Here’s what happened after Part 1 went out: I got a message from a friend who used “mantrum” in an argument with her husband and he didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended and she said the confusion bought her enough time to win. YESSSS! That’s the power of language, friends.

The infamous Part 1:

So here are 22 new words, but this time with a pop quiz around the question, “Okay but which one am I?” Twenty-two questions, one result. Your result includes your word, your definition, and a small amount of information about yourself you may or may not be ready for. The quiz is after the glossary.

Grab your coffee. Be honest. No one is watching.

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1. 😴 Carcolepsy (n.) — The immediate, involuntary loss of consciousness that occurs the moment you become a passenger in a moving vehicle. You were mid-sentence. You were asleep.

2. 🛌 Naptitude (n.) — The rare and specific talent for falling asleep anywhere, in any position, within ninety seconds. An Olympic sport in most cultures. A gift in all of them.

3. 😬 Sarcastrophe (n.) — When your sarcasm misfires so badly that the person actually believes you were being sincere. You said “wow, great idea.” They thanked you. It’s done now.

4. 💬 Pretextual (adj.) — Describing any text message sent for reasons that have nothing to do with what the text says. “Did you eat?” means “I miss you.” We know.

5. 💻 Fauxcused (adj.) — The state of appearing to be productively engaged while actually doing absolutely nothing. Laptop open. Eyes forward. Brain elsewhere.

6. ☕ Sipnosis (n.) — The trance-like state of holding a warm drink and staring into the middle distance. You’re not thinking. You’re not not thinking. You simply are.

7. ✨ Glamnesia (n.) — The complete inability to remember what you look like on your worst days once you’ve had one really good one. You look amazing. You forget this is not always the case.

8. 📺 Resentertainment (n.) — Content you hate-watch with complete devotion. You have complained about this show to multiple people. You have seen every episode twice.

9. 💄 Glossiphany (n.) — The spiritual moment of finding the perfect lip color. Something shifts. You are changed. The gloss knows.

10. 📋 Fauxductivity (n.) — A full day of rearranging, reorganizing, and optimizing your workspace with zero actual work produced. The desk looks incredible. You did nothing.

11. 🙄 Snobnoxious (adj.) — When your taste has gotten so specific that you can no longer enjoy something everyone else loves and a small part of you hates yourself for it. The oat milk did this.

12. 🪞 Glamboozled (v.) — To be completely fooled by your own reflection in good lighting. You looked incredible in that dressing room. The overhead lighting at home had a different opinion.

13. 📖 Novelanche (n.) — The moment a book you were casually reading buries you completely and you are now its hostage until 3am. You had plans. The author did not care about your plans.

14. 👗 Outfitigation (n.) — The internal legal proceeding you hold against yourself for buying something you knew you didn’t need. The verdict is always guilty. The sentence is wearing it anyway.

15. 🍫 Snacktuary (n.) — The specific drawer, cabinet, or corner of the pantry that is yours alone. Everyone in the house knows. No one touches it. This is sacred space.

16. 🧴 Beauternity (n.) — The amount of time you’ve been “about to” start a new skincare routine. Months. Possibly years. The products are lined up. You are not ready.

17. 🕯️ Scentamental (adj.) — When a smell hits you so hard it transports you to a specific memory, a specific place, a specific version of yourself. You weren’t expecting that. The candle didn’t warn you.

18. 📲 Scrollateral damage (n.) — The things you accidentally buy, agree to, or feel bad about as a direct result of being on your phone too long. Collateral damage of the digital age.

19. ☕ Dejabrew (n.) — The eerie certainty that you’ve already had this exact conversation over coffee before. With this person. In this chair. You have not. Probably.

20. 👜 Purseonality (n.) — The belief, held deeply and without evidence, that a new bag will make you a different, better, more organized person. It will not. You need it anyway.

21. ✈️ Jetiquette (n.) — The unspoken rules of airplane behavior that approximately three people follow. You know them all. You are furious constantly.

22. 🌊 Buzznami (n.) — When something causes a wave of good attention and everyone’s talking about it, but nothing’s actually on fire. Not viral. Not chaos. Just a very satisfying amount of stir. Ride it.

Here’s the quiz. Save it, share it, post it everywhere — the 'gram, Facebook, your family group chat, the neighborhood app, a billboard if you have access to one. Tag me @sandrapoplifestyle. This is important. This is research. Go!

The quiz has spoken. Drop your result in the comments. Now make your best friend take it too.

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Until next time — stay illuminaughty, stay ambitchous, and be honest on the quiz.

We can tell when you weren’t.

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Hello, fabulous!

Today I have something fun for you that you’ll definitely have opinions about, so hear me out.

Lately, I’ve been feeling this massive urge to start reading the classics aka the greatest stories ever told that we still keep reading today. But I also keep asking myself, “WHY are these stories still so good? Why have stood the test of time?”

And what I’ve come up with is that human nature doesn’t change much. Fast forward to today and, although the clothes and technologies have changed, the hilariously tragic human disasters that keep us in a choke hold until 3am are basically the same whether you’re reading them on a page or watching them on a screen.

If these stories had been turned into TV shows instead of books, with the budgets and the casting and the dramatic pauses they deserved, here’s what I think we’d be watching. Sooooo curious to know what you think after you read this! Let’s go!

(Click on each photo to expand on des

Now your turn!

Which one did I get exactly right? Which one are you watching immediately? And what classic did I leave out that deserves its own entry — because I know you have one.

Drop it in the comments! I’m super curious!

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Hello, fabulous!

Nobody warned us that one of the best parts of getting older would be the complete and total liberation from having to justify how we do things. I loooooove it!

I have systems. I have rules. I have opinions about ice and notification badges and what constitutes an acceptable time to still be in pajamas. Do they sound a little crazy? Maybe. But they make perfect sense to me and I have a feeling they might make perfect sense to you too.

Here are 13 habits that are completely, perfectly, unapologetically IDGAF-approved. I hope they make you laugh, make you feel seen, and remind you that you're not so crazy after all. Welcome to the era. 💖

6:47? Absolutely not. 6:50? Let’s go. This isn’t laziness. It’s structure. This is me giving myself a clean entry point into the day instead of stumbling out of bed at some random, meaningless number like 6:43. Who starts things at 6:43? Nobody organized, that’s who. The three minutes I spend waiting for a round number are three minutes of additional horizontal peace and I’m protecting them aggressively.

The number of bags is irrelevant. The number of trips is always one. I have carried what can only be described as a full farmer’s market haul on two arms and three fingers while my keys were in my mouth and I felt GREAT about it. Retracing your steps is a choice and it’s not one I am making today or any day.

Water, obviously. If it’s Pellegrino, even better. But also: anything that can reasonably coexist with ice will be given ice. Juice. Malta. Day old coffee (yes, I said that). But truly, there is nothing more delicious than a super drink infused with tinkling ice cubes frolicking inside my cup between sips. Ahhhh…

If there is nowhere to be, the pajamas stay on. Past noon, into the afternoon, up to dinner time. Basically however long it takes. This is my house and I bought it specifically so I could be comfortable in it, and nothing says “I live here and I love it” like a great set of pajamas at 2pm on a Tuesday. I’m not lazy — I’m home.

Will I scream? Yes. Will I make Speed come deal with it? Absolutely. Will I then instruct him not to kill it because I believe in karma and I don’t know what that bug has going on in its life? Every single time. We have a whole system where I freak out until the bug gets escorted out safely but alive. It MUST stay alive. Speed has accepted this.

Hair curl cream to mousse? Same universe, no wash required. Mousse to face moisturizer? Complete category change, full hand wash, no exceptions. This makes complete sense if you think about it for even thirty seconds and I truly believe everyone should be doing this.

Completed a task that wasn’t in my planner? I go back and write it in anyway just so I can cross it off. Some people find this a little insane. Those people don’t understand the dopamine situation or the importance of an accurate record. My planner is a document of what actually happened, not just what I planned, and crossing things off is a non-negotiable part of the experience. This is productivity AND joy.

I don’t know when this became a full-time job but here we are. Red circles on my apps make me twitchy in a way I can’t fully articulate, so I clear them. Constantly. All of them, all day long, omg there are so many! The emails, the texts, the apps — cleared. A clean screen is a calm mind and a calm mind gets things done. You can have my zero-badge home screen when you pry it from my cold, organized hands. Speed, on the other hand, has thousands. WHAT?!

Doesn’t matter how beautiful it is or how much I love it. If maintaining it requires more than a reasonable amount of effort, it goes back on the shelf and we move on. And I’m lazy efficient, so reasonable does not have a high bar. Life is too short for high-maintenance surfaces. This rule has saved me from several very pretty mistakes and I’ll stand behind it F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

When we bought the house it came with speakers and cameras mounted everywhere, so we hired an electrician to remove them which left holes in the wall. They warned us upfront they couldn't repair drywall, so no knock on them, but the drywall situation is…ongoing. In the meantime, I’ve placed art, trinkets, and various wall décor over every single one of them. Tbh, it actually looks pretty damn good. This is not a problem for me. This is interior design under pressure and I’m thriving.

Our neighbors have never said anything. We have chosen to interpret this as a sign that everything is fine. The TV faces the street. The windows are large. Inevitably, in whatever we’re watching, there will be a scene that makes me very aware of this situation. We pause nothing. We cover nothing. We simply live with the choices we’ve made and trust that our neighbors are either very understanding or very entertained. Possibly both.

This is not negotiable and it is not up for discussion. Open cabinet in the kitchen? I’m getting up. Closet door slightly ajar? Absolutely not. I don’t make the rules about chi — I just enforce them, nightly, before I can close my eyes. Speed knows this. The house knows this. Everything gets closed and then we sleep like civilized people. Try it once and tell me it doesn’t feel better. I’ll wait.

The math does not math and I’m aware of this. I’ll order another round of cocktails without looking at the price but then stand in a shop seriously distressed that a blouse costs $78. Is it cotton? Will it make my stomach look big? Can I return it if I change my mind in 48 hours? Why does it cost the same as my water bill? I don’t have answers, people. I just need the tag to say 100% cotton and the price to feel like 1997 …and then we can talk.

My first sale EVER! Eeek! 😱 From now through April 20, 2026 at midnight, I’m offering the Popstar annual subscription at 50% off — and that price is yours to keep for as long as you stay subscribed. I don’t know if I’ll ever go this low again and I have sooooo many goodies coming your way this year… lock it in!

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So that's my list! Something tells me yours is just as good, just as specific, and just as completely non-negotiable. Tell me one of your IDGAF habits in the comments so I can celebrate them with you too, or restack this on Notes. Ain’t no shame in the quirky game!

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Figuring out exactly how you like things and then refusing to do them any other way is one of life’s greatest joys. Your quirks are not your flaws. They’re your fingerprint.

Revel in it.

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Got your coffee? Good. Pull up a chair, fabulous. I’m writing this from O’ahu and I have lots of feelings.

I need to tell you about the H3.

For those who don’t know, the H3 is a highway on O’ahu that cuts through the Ko’olau Mountains in a way that should be illegal. You’re in a tunnel, and then suddenly you’re not, and the gorgeous green mountains are on every side of you and Kāne’ohe Bay is spread out below like someone knocked over the most perfect jar of turquoise paint and just... left it there. Gorgeous and unapologetic.

Not gonna lie, the first time you see it can leave you a little bit breathless, like you may or may not want to laugh and cry at the same time.

We’ve been gone since 2019 and only visited once in 2023, the year my brother died. So the moment we came over that bridge and I got my first real look at the valley, something in my body that I didn’t know was tight just... let go. And I got that same breathless feeling and perhaps also got a little choked up.

Because…it felt like HOME.

The amazing thing about living somewhere for 10 years is that it becomes a part of you. The lush green mountains. The smell of the salty sea air — that specific, indescribable O'ahu scent that no candle has ever successfully replicated, I don't care what the label says. The very specific comfort of knowing exactly where you are — where every road goes, which spots are worth stopping for, which beaches are yours.

Max grew up here. This is where his best friend Kyan is from, where our military and soccer people are, where the version of our little family of three that ran on sunshine and shave ice and soccer fields and weekend beach days was born.

We didn’t just live here. We became here.

So when we left in 2019, we didn’t just pack boxes and move. We left an entire life behind…and apparently it just sat here waiting. The people, the places, the feeling of it. Still here. Still ours.

What does that mean then??

I think it means…I have TWO homes.

Florida is home in the bones. Where my mom is, where my siblings are, where the pool and the palm trees and the life I spent two decades promising myself finally exists. That’s the home I earned — the one that holds my history and my people and the version of me that finally stopped moving.

And then there’s Hawaiʻi. The place that shaped us as a family of three. The place where Max became Max. The place that still reaches out through the mountains and the bay and says you are ours and we haven’t forgotten.

The home of my heart.

I want to say something to you about this because I think it matters: so many of us spend midlife grieving the places and versions of ourselves we left behind — the life before the move, before the kids grew up, before everything changed. We treat those chapters like losses. Like something we have to get over.

But what if we don’t? What if some of those lives just... wait for us? What if the places that shaped us aren’t gone — they’re just holding our spot?

Most people spend their whole lives looking for one place that feels like that. Somehow, wildly, I got two.

And our Hawaiʻi people — our community — haven’t forgotten us. Six years gone and they've been filling our calendar all week — showing up, reaching out, cheering for Max's dream before he even had the words for it himself. People who knew us then and still want to know us now.

That kind of love, it turns out, does not have an expiration date.

I didn’t know that for sure until I was on H3, the mountains being dramatic on every side of me, Kāne'ohe Bay glittering below like it had been waiting specifically for us to come back and appreciate it properly, trying to catch my breath and soak it all in.

I am home.

Both of us. All three of us. Still.

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I may earn commissions from sales via the Bookshop.org links below, at no extra cost to you. I only share things I’d genuinely press into your hands, and I’m grateful for every click. 💖

Hula by Jasmin Iolani Hakes — Reading this in Hawaiʻi feels almost cliché but do I care? Not even a little. It’s a story about three generations of Hawaiian women in Hilo, their family legacy with hula, and how they fight to protect their culture and their land. It honestly brought me back to Hawai’i before I even got on the plane. A great recommendation by .

The Correspondent by Virginia Evans — I’d been hearing about this book for weeks when I saw it again on ’s list. Since I trust her impeccable biblio tastes, I put it on my TBR immediately. Well, guess what? The universe loves me because yesterday I found it on sale for $12.95 at the local bookstore here and snatched it right up. It’s a story told entirely through letters and emails, which sounds perfect to get lost in.

Landman (Paramount+), His & Hers (Netflix), Pluribus (Apple TV+) — All incredible, all completely different, all a hard 10/10. If you can only pick one, start with Landman — Angela and Ainsley are the best mother-daughter duo on television right now and I will die on this hill.

People You Meet on Vacation (Netflix) — So sweet, so good, exactly what it needed to be. Alex’s dance scene was swoon-worthy and Poppy was so relatable I had to pause and collect myself. Loooooved it.

Saltburn (Amazon) — We watched it based on ’s recommendation, who’s travel Susbtack is awesome, btw. We are somewhat traumatized. We have not fully recovered. I will say no more.

Project Hail Mary (Theaters) — We’d only heard good things so we watched it last night in 4D (super fun!) and it was AH-MA-ZING! Ryan Gosling is incredible in every single role he touches and this was no different. My favorite scene was the "acceptance" scene and I shall say absolutely nothing else about it except that you need to see it immediately and bring tissues just in case.

The new Bruno Mars album “The Romantic” has some Latin roots woven through it and my Puerto Rican soul is THRIVING. Also, did you know he has Puerto Rican heritage and was raised in Hawaiʻi? Which means this album is basically custom made for this exact trip.

Also completely obsessed with Justin Bieber and Rosé’s collaborations — “With You“ and “Love You Too“ are on permanent rotation. I’m almost embarrassed about how many times I’ve played them this week. Almost.

And if you want some actual island flavor, find the band Wavvy and start with “Thyme.” Don’t blame me if you start looking at plane tickets to Hawai’i.

Two recipes I bookmarked this week that I fully intend to make the moment I'm back in my Florida kitchen — which, for the record, has actual pots, counter space, and zero excuse not to cook a real meal. No promises on the timeline. Strong promises on the intention.

✍🏽 Bianca Bosso of Midnight Spaghetti made herb-laminated pappardelle stuffed with ricotta and lemon — pasta so beautiful it looks like it should be framed, not eaten. She sketched it first. She sketched it first. I respect it enormously and also feel deeply shown up. Full recipe here.

✍🏽 Rebecca Blackwell of Let’s Get Lost made a one-pot chicken pasta with tomato cream sauce that is the exact kind of cozy, adaptable, nothing-fancy-required weeknight dinner I live for. Chicken, pasta, velvety tomato cream sauce, all in one pan. Rebecca is also a nomad living on an RV, motorcycle, AND sailboat — she is clearly living her best life and writing about it deliciously. Full recipe here.

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⤞ Substack Faves:

✍🏽 Gabrielle Blair of Same Boat — Gabrielle founded Alt Summit, wrote a NYT bestseller, raised six kids, and somehow also has time to run one of the most genuinely useful Substacks for women who work on the internet. I can barely remember to take my vitamins. If you're building something online and want to feel less alone doing it, this is your people.

✍🏽 Sarah Bush of The Pink Teacup — Sarah is a mixed media artist in Taos, New Mexico who uses her art to do something I deeply respect: resist authoritarianism with creativity and a sense of humor. Case in point — she's currently making "resistance cootie catchers." One is called "Stop the Broligarchy." I mean. She had me at hello. I don't know what I expected from a newsletter called The Pink Teacup but it was not this and I am so glad it wasn't.

✍🏽 Hana Lee Goldin of Card Catalog — Hana has a master's in Library and Information Science and she's using it to teach the rest of us how to think more clearly in the age of AI without making us feel like we accidentally wandered into a PhD seminar. I leave every issue feeling smarter. My family has not noticed. But I have.

⤞ Substack to Watch:

👀 The Homemade Hostess by Chloe Diaz. Chloe makes homemade desserts that look like they belong in a magazine and somehow also finds time to curate beautiful moments from her life for her Notes. She's seven months in. I'm already a little obsessed. Find her before everyone else does so you can say you knew her when.

💛 Airline pilots. Every single one of them. But especially the ones who land the plane so smoothly you forget you were ever terrified, and also my husband who is currently learning to be one — which means one day I may have a personal pilot, which means I can continue to not have a job. This is called manifesting and I refuse to hear otherwise.

💛 Dresses that require zero coordination, cut you nowhere, and make you look like you tried when you absolutely did not. Midlife has stolen many things from me. My patience for complicated outfits is one of them. These dresses are giving it back.

💛 The Hawaiʻi breeze. Yes, it has destroyed my hair. Yes, it is worth it. My internal temperature has been set to “surface of the sun” for approximately three years now and this breeze is the only thing standing between me and complete chaos.

Had my first ever girls-only breakfast with Keira — the most badass young lady I know — at Cafe Kopi in Kailua. The Mac Mocha was so good it should come with a warning label. Hoping this becomes a tradition. Love her to the moon!

This month we have TWO winners because I missed February — congratulations to Louisa Waikiki and Kate Reimann! Your coffee cards are on their way.

Your coffee could be next. Upgrade to Popstar and get in on the monthly raffle — plus a whole lot more. ☕️

If you made it this far, consider yourself hugged and caffeinated from beautiful Hawai’i. Before you go, if you have a place that drops your heart rate the second you arrive, I want to hear about it. Drop it in the comments. Tell me where your heart home is.

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In the meantime, I’ll be over here on a beach somewhere, pretending I don’t have to get on a plane in a few days. See you next time, slightly sun-kissed and very full of shave ice. 💖

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It started as innocent scrolling. Then one photo stopped me cold.

It was from Hawai’i, January 2024. And before my brain had even registered what I was looking at, my body already knew. My chest got tight. My eyes went soft.

Some moments live in your bones before they live in your memory.

I’ve been sitting with this one for a few days now, trying to figure out what I wanted to say about it. And what kept coming back to me was this: we talk a lot about the big, dramatic moments of healing — the breakthrough, the pivot, the turning point. But that’s not really how it works, is it?

At least, it’s not how it worked for me.

Here’s what actually happened.

🌸 Before you read this, a small note 🌸

I’m playing with my voice in this one. I love irreverence, and it will always be part of me, but sometimes humor feels too small for what the heart is trying to say. This story asked for something different…something quieter, more honest and open.

I followed where it led.

We're going back to Hawai'i in a week, so I’ve been scrolling through old photos and videos, happily reliving moments from our last trip in 2023. Then this one appeared, and suddenly I wasn't in my living room anymore. I was right back inside a moment my heart remembered before my mind did.

It was January 1st, 2024.

The night before, we’d been on the rooftop of a friend’s house, watching fireworks explode over the Kailua rooftops. The sky was loud and bright, full of color and noise and other people’s wishes. Around us, everyone was celebrating: counting down, kissing, laughing, raising glasses to the promise of a new year.

Inside, I was quietly unraveling.

My brother had died that July, five days after my birthday. So as the clock inched toward midnight, it didn’t feel like I was just saying goodbye to 2023. It felt like I was being asked to step over a threshold into a year he would never see. To leave behind the last year he was alive. To leave him behind.

In those final seconds before midnight, while everyone joyously shouted the countdown, my heart clenched so hard it was difficult to breathe. Grief has a way of making time feel sharp. Every number felt like a small cut.

But…I didn’t cry.

I smiled for photos. I clinked glasses. I did what we learn to do as women—we hold it together so we don’t disturb the moment for everyone else. Who wants to be the one sobbing on a rooftop when the world is busy trying to be hopeful?

So I waited.

I waited until we got back to our little guest house, until the door closed and the noise of the night faded. It was within the privacy of those four walls that I finally let go and cried with my whole heart. Not pretty, not contained. Just honest.

The next morning, still raw and puffy-eyed, I reached for the one person who has known me in every version of myself: my mother. I called her because I needed her voice, the familiar cadence that has always meant “you’re not alone, even in this.”

While I was on the phone with her, Speed did the one thing he knew would help. He went to Kyle—our host, our friend, one of the best humans I know—and asked him to make me coffee. Then he brought it to me, quietly, without fanfare, as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.

It was such a small act.

Just a cup of coffee placed gently in my hands on a morning when my heart felt too heavy to hold anything else. But even now, watching this video, I can feel the weight of their care. The way love sometimes arrives not as grand gestures, but simply as noticing.

Midlife has a way of stripping away the illusion that we’re ever fully in control. We lose people. We lose versions of ourselves. We carry anniversaries in our bodies. And still, somehow, we keep finding ways to stitch ourselves back together, often in the smallest, quietest moments.

That’s what this video is for me.

It’s not just a memory of Hawai‘i, or New Year’s, or fireworks over Kailua. It’s a reminder that we heal slowly, imperfectly, and in community.

We heal when someone makes a phone call easier to bear. When someone tucks a blanket around us without being asked. When the people around us choose to pay attention to what isn’t being said out loud.

This is how we mend ourselves, and maybe, in tiny ways, the world too.

We show up.
We notice.
We soften where we can.

And sometimes, we just bring each other coffee.

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If you made it this far — thank you. This one asked more of me than I expected to give, and I’m glad I gave it anyway.

This is what Sandrapop is, at its core: the glittery stuff AND the real stuff. The champagne AND the puffy eyes. The fabulous AND the human. You don’t have to choose, and neither do I.

Now tell me something, because I really want to know👇🏽

What's your version of "someone brought me coffee"? What's the small act of love that's carried you through a hard moment?

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If this essay moved you, these ones will too — they're all about love in action.

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If this one landed for you, pass it to someone who needs it today or restack to share with your people. 🌸

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Hello, fabulous!

Okay so. First, I need to tell you about Kyan.

Kyan is my son Max’s best friend. He is young, he is hilarious, and a few months ago while visiting from college during Thanksgiving break, he casually dropped the word dartie into a conversation like it was nothing.

A dartie = a daytime party. I stopped everything. I made him repeat it. Then I immediately put on a note in my phone very creatively titled “word list”.

Then I couldn’t stop. He created a monster.

Every time I came across a word that made me cackle, or nod too hard, or grab someone’s arm and go “WAIT — do you know this one?” — I added it to the list. Words that should be in the dictionary but aren’t. Words that describe experiences we’ve all had but never had the vocabulary for. Words that feel like someone finally named the thing.

You know the thing. The experience you've had a hundred times but could only describe to your bestie with hand gestures and "okay, but you KNOW what I mean, right?" She knew. We all know. We just didn't have the word for it. Until now.

Today, that note has 21 words on it.

And today, my fabulous friends, is the day I get to share them with you. OMG, I’m so excited!!!

Before we get to the story, here are the words in all of their glory. Read them slowly. Savor them. Let them wash over you like a warm bath of linguistic excellence.

You're not ready. Go anyway.👇🏽

1. 📚 Bibliogamy (n.) — A committed, loving, legally-binding-in-spirit union with one’s book collection. Partners are tolerated. The TBR pile is forever.

2. 😤 Mantrum (n.) — The adult male tantrum. Identifiable by heavy sighing, cabinet-closing with just too much force, and the classic “I’m fine” delivered in a tone that means the opposite.

3. 🎭 Testerical (adj.) — The male equivalent of hysterical. Notably, never called that.

4. 💭 Hemotional (adj.) — Describing a man in the rare and delicate state of having emotions. Handle with care. Do not startle.

5. 📅 Manstraul period (n.) — His monthly seven to ten days of inexplicable irritability, food cravings, and sensitivity. We don’t discuss it. We simply accommodate.

6. 😇😈 Illuminaughty (adj.) — Spiritually woke, emotionally evolved, and still fully capable of chaos. The highest form of self-actualization.

7. 💅 Ambitchous (adj.) — Relentlessly goal-oriented with zero intention of shrinking to make anyone comfortable. A compliment. Accept it.

8. 🧹 Choreplay (n.) — The act of doing household tasks voluntarily and without being asked, which functions as the highest form of foreplay known to domestic life.

9. 🍿 Snaccident (n.) — The phenomenon of consuming an entire snack with no conscious memory of beginning. The bag is empty. You are at peace.

10. ☕ Procaffeinating (v.) — The biological inability to initiate any task, thought, or human interaction before coffee has been consumed. Protected under natural law.

11. ✨ Glambush (n.) — The act of arriving somewhere looking so unexpectedly, devastatingly good that people physically pause. You didn’t warn them. That was intentional.

12. 📱 Textpectation (n.) — The specific anxiety of waiting for a reply from someone who has very clearly read your message. We see the read receipt. We see it.

13. 🥂 Resting brunch face (n.) — The natural expression of a person who looks perpetually ready for mimosas, eggs benedict, and a good story. A blessing, not a diagnosis.

14. 🌍 Fomo-sapien (n.) — A member of the human species physically, spiritually, and constitutionally incapable of missing out on anything. Evolution did this.

15. 😏 Snarkasm (n.) — The rare and beautiful fusion of snark and sarcasm. A gift. Not everyone can wield it. You probably can.

16. 👑 Boujeification (n.) — The slow, inevitable, completely natural process of upgrading your taste level over time. You didn’t choose it. It chose you.

17. 👻 Phantomposting (n.) — The act of composing an absolutely brilliant caption, tweet, or story entirely in your head and then never posting it. The internet’s loss. Truly.

18. 💃 Glamxiety (n.) — The specific distress of looking incredible with absolutely nowhere to be. A tragedy of modern life.

19. 🎃 Scrolloween (n.) — The horror of opening your phone for two minutes and emerging, blinking, two hours later with no memory of what happened.

20. ☕ Dramacino (n.) — The performance art of ordering coffee. Extra oat milk. Specific temperature. A full monologue at the counter. We respect it.

21. ✨ Glitterally (adv.) — Used for emphasis when something is simultaneously literal AND fabulous. As in: I am glitterally the most helpful person you know.

Of course, I did what any completely normal person would do and used all 21 words in a single story. This is either literary genius or a cry for help. Possibly both. Please hold your applause.👇🏽

It started, as most great stories do, with procaffeinating.

I was flat on the couch, eyes open, soul not yet present, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing so I could become a functional human being. My husband — bless him — was in the kitchen in the middle of a mantrum because we were out of his specific creamer. Cabinet. Closed. Too hard. Classic.

I said nothing. I have learned, after many years of marriage, that this was simply his manstraul period talking. He was hemotional — dangerously close to having actual feelings about the creamer situation — and the best thing I could do was wait it out like a tropical storm. You don’t argue with weather.

Once the coffee was ready I performed a full dramacino for myself, because if no one else was going to honor this moment, I was. Oat milk. Specific pour. A brief soliloquy to the mug. The audience of one gave myself a standing ovation.

Caffeinated and restored, I opened my phone — rookie mistake — and immediately fell into a scrolloween so deep I lost track of time, space, and three of my core personality traits. When I finally surfaced, blinking and slightly feral, forty-five minutes had passed and I had somehow agreed, via comment section, to attend four separate events this weekend.

Classic fomo-sapien behavior. I regret nothing. I regret everything.

I checked my messages and immediately felt the hot sting of textpectation — my best friend had very clearly read my paragraph-long message about whether we should go to brunch and had responded with absolutely nothing. Not a word. Not an emoji. Not even the courtesy of a lie. I typed and deleted a response seven times, which is peak phantomposting, and ultimately sent a single question mark.

She called me testerical when I brought it up later.

I was glitterally offended.

By noon I had pulled myself together enough to get dressed, which is when the glamxiety hit. I had chosen an outfit — capital O — and had nowhere to go. Nowhere. I looked like I was about to accept an award or board a yacht and my only plan was the grocery store. The boujeification of my personal style had officially outpaced my social calendar.

I went to the grocery store anyway. I wore the outfit. Two people complimented me and one woman asked if I was somebody. I said yes, without elaborating, and walked away. That is ambitchous energy and I will not apologize for it.

When I got home, my husband — now recovered from the mantrum, blessedly — had done the dishes, wiped the counters, AND started a load of laundry without being asked. Completely unprompted. I felt the choreplay in my soul. I looked at him like he had just handed me flowers on a random Tuesday. He had no idea why I was so moved. I didn’t explain. Some things are sacred.

I spent the afternoon in a state of illuminaughty bliss — I did my meditation, I said my affirmations, I set my intentions, and then I ate an entire sleeve of crackers standing over the sink with zero remorse. That was a snaccident and also a spiritual experience. The snarkasm I deployed when my inner critic tried to comment about it was so swift and so precise that she hasn’t spoken since.

By evening I was deep in my bibliogamy, curled up with my current book like it was my person, completely unavailable to the world. My husband tried to tell me something. I heard none of it. The book and I were in a committed relationship and interruptions were not welcome.

He gave me resting brunch face from across the room — that look of someone who is perpetually unbothered and vaguely ready for a good time regardless of circumstance — and I matched it right back.

We sat in comfortable, glitterally golden silence.

And that, my friends, was a completely ordinary Tuesday.

Okay I need to know — which word on this list made you go "WAIT ✋🏽" out loud?

The list doesn't stop here. If you've got a word that should absolutely be on it, put it in the comments. I'm taking notes. Literally. I have a note in my phone. 😂

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And because 21 words just aren’t enough, here is Part 2. Try not to be too impressed.

If this made you snort, cackle, or immediately text someone the word choreplay — first of all, same. Second of all, share this with a friend who deserves it. You know exactly who. The one currently surviving a someone’s manstraul period, deep in a scrolloween spiral, or walking around in a full glambush with nowhere to be.

The world needs these words. Be the one who delivers them.

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Until next time — stay illuminaughty, stay ambitchous, and for the love of everything holy, do not open your phone after 9pm.

You know what happens.

Hello, fabulous!

February came in like a LOVE BOMB and I am not complaining one bit.

Family reunions that made me ugly cry. A Valentine’s surprise that turned into an accidental extended vacation. My son showing up at my bedside with flowers. A washing machine that almost cost us $600… but didn’t. Whew!

This month had everything — and I mean everything. Love in every single form it comes in.

I’m also running a little late on the February Popstar Kit because life was just THAT full — but it’s coming next week, I promise. Good things take time.

For now? Pull up a chair. Let’s catch up. ☕

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

These last few weeks love was literally EVERYWHERE! The fun and flirty Valentine’s Day kind AND the real, full, messy, beautiful kind that sneaks up on you when you’re not looking. It showed up in so many forms this month and I’m sooooooo grateful!

1. It was in Puerto Rico, where I met up with my uncle Eduardo and my aunt Gloria — my dad’s side of the family — for the first time in decades. My uncle hadn’t seen me since I was a cute little baby, and the last time I saw my aunt was 30 years ago! My dad passed in 2006, and getting to introduce them to Speed and Max felt like something I didn’t even know I needed until it was happening. You ever felt like that?!

2. It was in a bouquet of gorgeous, colorful flowers. Max sneakily came home for a surprise extra week at the end of January — Speed flew him out without telling me — and I woke up to my son standing at my bedside with flowers in his hand. I cried and squealed and woke right the hell up! Obviously. Seriously, everyone needs to be surprised this way at least once in their lives.

3. It was in a beautiful beach cottage in Melbourne, Florida laughing the weekend away with our amazing friends who just moved from Germany to Florida. We “relived our youth” in a Taco Bell drive thru, watched the Super Bowl and Bad Bunny’s amazing performance celebrating our Puerto Rican culture, and drank delish coffee with a side of UFO. The guys would say accidentally stumbling into a beer fest was the best part!

4. It was at the South Florida Fair, eating funnel cakes and petting zoo animals while creating memories with my awesome family. We shopped from local vendors, snuck in tequila to enhance the fair offerings, marveled at how we could no longer ride anything that spins, and just had the greatest time wandering through the stalls and laughing to our hearts content.

5. It was in Bimini, Bahamas, where Speed whisked me away for a romantic and relaxing Valentine’s getaway. It was supposed to be a weekend trip but a ferry cancellation turned into three extra days of pure magic! (Full post coming soon — it deserves its own story.) Spending time together, just the two of us, in the most incredible clear turquoise waters was HEAVEN. Speed planned the entire trip himself and I must say… he gets the green light to plan more weekend trips in the future!

Love in all its forms. That's been my February — messy and magical and more than I could have planned. It just happened. One moment at a time, one person at a time. That's the thing about love though — it doesn't wait for the perfect conditions. It just shows up. So I'm asking… how has love been showing up in your life lately? The big stuff, the small stuff, all of it. Drop it in the comments. 💖

These are the things I’ve been loving this month! I may earn commissions from sales via the links below, at no extra cost to you. 😘

1// Great Women of Art Ruler* 2// Pink Festival Party Hat 3// The Mud Fair Blooming Hearts Stonewear Mug 4// CUPSHE One Piece Swimsuit 5// Stanley Quencher H2.0 Tumbler 6// Aiwa Retro Boombox CD Player w/Cassette Recorder

So after I published my 🖤 7 Paranormal Romance Worlds To Binge Right Now, I did what any responsible paranormal romance lover does — I immediately checked for new releases. And of course there was one. Kresley Cole did not disappoint with The Witch Queen of Halloween and I devoured it. Obviously.

I also read Failure to Match by Kyra Parsi and Love You, Love You Not by Jo Watson — both super cute, both very much worth your time if you need something fun and swoony.

And then there’s my current read, The 50 Greatest Love Letters of All Time by David Lowenherz — which I found for $4 at a thrift store last week and immediately knew it had to come home with me. I mean… who DOESN’T want to peek into the hearts of people in love? It’s the most intimate thing. Real people, real feelings, real words written when they thought no one else was watching. I’m obsessed.

Fitting for February, don’t you think? ❤️

This month’s playlist is giving me ALL the feelings — and not by accident. 💿

Speed and I used to make each other CDs back when that was the most romantic thing a person could do. We’re talking late 90s, early 2000s — carefully chosen songs, handwritten track lists, the whole thing. So this month, in honor of February and all the love that’s been floating around, I’ve been on a total nostalgia trip.

I found this 1999 playlist on Spotify and honestly? It should come with a warning label. Backstreet Boys, Eminem, Joe, 112, Cher, Blink 182 — it’s ALL there. Every song is a core memory. Put it on during a drive and just try not to belt out every single word. I dare you.

Can we talk about how good the content has been lately?! 🍿

First, I finished season one of The Burbs and it was so stinking cute. It follows an interracial couple navigating life in the suburbs and all the adventures (and misadventures) that come with it. Keke Palmer is in it and I absolutely LOVE her — she is hilarious and so much fun! Mostly wholesome, totally charming, and exactly the kind of show you want to curl up with on the couch.

Then there’s Eternity. Elizabeth Olsen is SO talented — I cannot say that enough — and Miles Teller never disappoints. This one sparked some really great conversations between Speed and me about what we’d do in her situation. But honestly, there’s ZERO doubt who I’d choose to spend eternity with. Watch it and you’ll understand exactly what I mean.

💛 YouTube University, we are not worthy. Our washing machine decided to give up on life and when we called for a repair quote… $600. To fix a washing machine. I immediately went into researcher mode, found the video, ordered the part for under $40, and handed it all over to Speed. Thirty minutes later + a little elbow grease = washing machine is working like new. Speed is the hero of this story and I am happily giving him all the credit. But YouTube? YouTube is the real MVP.

💛 My mother-in-law is an absolute gem. She works from home, which means when we travel she steps in to dog sit Leo and Lexi — and not just watch them, but genuinely LOVE on them. We get to leave knowing our babies are happy and in good hands, and she gets a quiet house with a pool and a hot tub all to herself. We love this arrangement!

💛 Reading glasses. That’s it. That’s the gratitude. Thank God I live in a time where I can grab a cute pair for a few dollars and actually see things again. A true miracle of modern life.

⤞ Substack Faves:

✍️ Home-ish by Imani. Imani is that friend who makes you feel like you can actually decorate your home without losing your mind or your wallet. She’s confident, full of great home hacks, and sounds like a real person doing real things in real life. No pretension, just good stuff. Love her.

✍️ Jenna Kutcher. I’ve been really loving her essays lately. She is vulnerable, articulate, and not afraid to say the thing other people are tiptoeing around. This one especially stopped me in my tracks.

✍️ Things That Make Me Happy by Sara H. The name says it all and she absolutely delivers. Start with her broke girl’s guide to TV streaming — it’s fun, practical, and exactly the kind of content that reminds you why you love Substack. 📺

⤞ Substack to Watch:

👀 Orange Tree Square Photography by Jennifer Sulla. Jennifer is a film photographer based in coastal Virginia and her work is gorgeous! Check out this post on Paris. Each photo is beautiful on its own, but together they tell a whole story. Like chapters in a book and I love that so much.

How has love been showing up in your life lately — romantic, family, friendship, all of it?

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If you made it this far…

Consider yourself hugged and caffeinated from sunny Florida. I'll be honest — February was a LOT. In the best possible way, but still a lot. Between family, travel, and unexpected home repairs, my February Popstar Kit is running a little late. But late is not canceled! It's dropping next week and I think you're going to love it. Stay tuned. ✨

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Consider upgrading and unlocking everything—full archives, printables, and The Popstar Kit. Each kit focuses on one tiny shift with a big payoff: something that brightens your day, your space, or your sense of self. Pretty, practical, totally doable. Join the Popstars here 🎤✨

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Tap the heart ♥️ if you’re into it, drop a comment if you’ve got thoughts, and if you’re feeling extra generous, hit that little recycle symbol to Restack. That’s how this post finds fresh eyes and new friends.

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Hello, fabulous!

Last week I shared my top seven paranormal romance series with you - the ones I’d want on a desert island, the ones I come back to again and again. Someone asked why I’m so obsessed with romance novels in general, so I wrote this essay about how a girl in a bedroom so small the door wouldn’t open became a woman who still reads romance novels like her life depends on it. Because in a lot of ways, it does. Enjoy!

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

How it started…

My love affair with reading started in third grade, but it wasn’t until middle school that I graduated to romance novels (the more tame, age appropriate variety, thank you very much!).

My mom had a friend who’d show up every few months with big black garbage bags full of books - Harlequin romances, Sweet Valley High, whatever he’d cleared from his shelves or found at garage sales. With her permission, he’d haul them into our tiny house and leave them for me, a mysterious book fairy with a questionable delivery system. It was like Christmas every time he came around!

Here’s the thing: my mom didn’t know how to read or speak English at the time, so there was zero vetting process. In her mind, books = education = any and all books were allowed. I had complete freedom to read whatever was delivered. Looking back, this could have gone sideways fast, but someone up there was looking out for me.

And then my mom did something that still amazes me: she paid for a $20 subscription that delivered four Zebra romance novels to our house every month. Some of my favorite authors that came to my door were Elizabeth Lowell, Catherine Hart, and Virginia Brown.

For a single mom stretching every dollar, that $20 meant something. But she never questioned it, never made me feel guilty about it. Books were education, and education was worth the investment.

So I’d happily take those huge bags of books and my monthly deliveries, and lug them into my bedroom, which - I cannot stress this enough - was TINY. It used to be the entryway before my mom closed it off to convert our 2 bed/1 bath into a 3 bed/1 bath home to accommodate four kids.

Worst of all, I had to share it with my bratty little sister, who was nine years younger than me and looooooved to lock me out (not cool, sis). The door also didn’t even open all the way. No wider than 45 degrees, it hit my bed with just enough room for me to slide through.

But it had a small wall of built-in shelves, which I packed with those precious books like I was hoarding treasure. Any time I could, I’d throw myself on the bed, wrestle the door closed when my sister allowed it, and disappear into a delicious story.

Those shelves opened up worlds I couldn’t access any other way.

During those glorious moments, romance novels took me to glamorous ballrooms and not-so-glamorous pirate ships. To small towns where everyone knew your name and also your business. I met brave cowboys and cocky CEOs and dark, mysterious men who said exactly the right thing at exactly the right time.

I learned that love could be complicated and messy and still work out. That women could be strong and also vulnerable. That happy endings were totally possible, even when your current circumstances said you were definitely, absolutely, very much SOL.

My physical world was small - less than 1,000 square feet split between six people and one bathroom. But my reading world was unlimited. I could be anywhere, be anyone, and live in a place where someone noticed you, chose you, fought for you.

I devoooooured those books. And for a girl sharing a cramped bedroom with her baby sister, that felt like freedom.

How it’s going…

Fast forward a few decades, and guess what? I’m STILL head-over-heels in love with romance novels! My devotion to them has never wavered, never dimmed, never died.

Not through countless military moves, the craziness of raising a tiny human, or any of those moments when I desperately needed an escape hatch from...well, EVERYTHING. These books have been right there with me through every hard transition and every moment in between!

Look, if someone forced me to choose between a steamy romance novel or the latest Oprah book club bestseller? The steamy romance would win. Hands down. Every. Single. Time.

Because even though romance novels constantly get dragged for not being “serious literature” (eye roll 🙄), when real life felt like a complete dumpster fire, these books handed me a guaranteed happy ending, usually delivered by some deliciously morally gray immortal who wouldn’t think twice about burning the entire world down for his fated mate. I mean, COME ON!

The idea that two people could decide to be together against absolutely impossible odds, fight for it, make it work, and have love actually PREVAIL? That always pulled me through when I needed it most

Why it matters…

Okay, confession time: for YEARS, I had this annoying little voice in the back of my head wondering if maybe - just maybe - I should be reading “better” books. Like somewhere out there, an invisible committee was keeping score and handing out demerits every time I picked up a vampire romance instead of Some Very Important Literary Novel That Would Make Me Look Smart.

So what did I do? I’d hide my Kindle screen on airplanes like I was sneaking contraband! I’d laugh it off as my “guilty pleasure” (ugh, that phrase). I’d start every book recommendation with “I know it’s silly, but...”

And then one day it hit me: WHY am I apologizing for something that makes me this happy?!

Joy doesn’t require justification!

These books have given me hours - no, years - of escape, comfort, and pure entertainment. They’ve been with me through big celebrations, quiet struggles, and all those in-between moments when I desperately needed to believe that messy situations could transform into something beautiful.

And you know what? That MATTERS.

Because let’s be honest - the world is fucking insane right now. I don't need to make you a list (you're living it too, trust me, you know).

Aaaaand… we’re constantly being told to stay informed, be productive, show up as our best selves, be resilient, have it ALL figured out. We’re supposed to have opinions on everything. Care about everything. Somehow fix everything. Be everything to everyone.

Exhausting, right?!

Sometimes you just need to put ALL of that down and lose yourself in a story about people falling madly in love!

And before you roll your eyes thinking "that's just running away from reality”, let me stop you right there. This isn't escapism in the irresponsible sense (though honestly, even if it was, sometimes we ALL need that too, so whatever!).

This is survival mode. This is refueling your soul! This is remembering what it feels like to that believe good things can happen, even when every headline and news alert is screaming the opposite. They’re a reminder that pleasure matters. That imagination matters.

Romance novels where love is a rock-solid commitment and happy endings are 100% guaranteed give me space to forget all the world’s craziness for a while. And when I come back to the real world, I’m SO much stronger for having that break.

What I’ve learned…

Now look, I KNOW what people say about romance novels. All bodice-ripping and unrealistic expectations and eye-rolling cheese, right? And okay fine, there's definitely some bodice-ripping happening (zero complaints from me on that front! ). But can I tell you what romance novels actually taught me?

💖 Vulnerability is the ultimate strength move. Think about it…every amazing romance features characters who put their hearts on the line, admit what they really want, and show up authentically even when it's scary as hell. That's not weakness, that's straight-up COURAGE!

💖 Women are allowed to want ALL the things. Romance novels were the first place I saw female characters who refused to choose between their career and love. Who wanted adventure AND partnership. Independence AND deep connection. They could be ambitious AND romantic. Confident AND vulnerable. Perfectly imperfect and totally winning at life!

💖 Happy endings don’t just happen - you have to fight for them. Not stumble into them by accident or cross your fingers and hope. The best romance novels show you that real love takes WORK. Communication. Showing up for each other, especially when it’s hard. And all that effort? Totally, completely worth it!

Friends, these aren’t just fun little life lessons. These are MAJOR perspectives that changed how I see the world, all wrapped up in delicious entertainment!

What I’m doing now…

Back when I first got into this genre, I’d hunt down those $7.99 paperbacks. They came with me EVERYWHERE: stuffed in my carry-on for flights between duty stations, tucked in my purse for doctor's office waiting rooms, riding shotgun while Max finished soccer practice, keeping me company during lunch breaks and quiet afternoons at home. Basically any moment I could steal away from Adulting Responsibilities, I had my nose in a romance novel!

I can still feel the weight of those books in my hands, my fingers literally cramping from death-gripping the spine because I “just needed one more chapter”, which is not-so-secret code for “I’m finishing this ENTIRE BOOK right now and no one can stop me”.

These days, the Kindle app is my bestie, but guys, the ritual is EXACTLY the same: crack open that story, step right through the portal into another world, emerge hours later completely emotionally hydrated and ready to tackle life again!

And I’m done apologizing for it!

That little girl in the too-small bedroom with the door that wouldn’t open all the way figured out that stories could deliver things real life couldn't always guarantee: hope when things felt hopeless, escape when walls closed in, endless possibility when her world felt impossibly small.

Well, guess what? I still need that. Maybe now more than ever!

So here's what I'm doing this January - reading ALL the romance novels without a single shred of guilt or apology! Give me the sweeping contemporary love stories! The historical romances with dukes in tailcoats and ballgowns swishing across marble floors! And OH YES, those delicious paranormal ones with immortal beings who'd literally burn the entire world to ashes for their one true mate! 🔥

And if anyone side-eyes my reading choices and asks what I’m reading? I’ll look them straight in the eyeball and tell them it’s serious literature about love, choice, vulnerability, and the absolutely revolutionary act of believing in happy endings.

Because that’s EXACTLY what it is! 💖

Let's Get You Hooked!

Okay, so I just spent 1,485 words gushing about why romance novels are literally life-changing, and now you’re probably thinking “Great Sandra, but WHERE DO I START?!”

Don’t worry, I’ve got you! Here are some of my all-time favorite reads spanning different sub-genres, so you can find YOUR perfect match!

Quick note: I may earn commissions from sales via the links below, at no extra cost to you. The links below go to Amazon; however, if you prefer to shop on Bookshop.org click here. Heads up that not all titles are available on Bookshop.org.

If you want the classics that started it ALL: Elizabeth Lowell, Catherine Hart, Virginia Brown - These were my Zebra book era favorites, the ones that started my whole romance novel obsession! If you can hunt them down (used bookstores are your BEST friend here), they're the foundation of everything I love about romance. Pure nostalgic gold!

If you want friends-to-lovers that'll make your heart ACHE (in the best way): Baking Me Crazy by Karla Sorensen - Best friends who are absolutely PERFECT for each other, but she has NO CLUE?! This one is sweet, swoony, and will have you screaming "JUST KISS ALREADY!"

If you want epic fantasy romance with soul-deep connections: Tairen Soul series by C.L. Wilson - Fair warning: this series will absolutely WRECK you in the best possible way! The world-building is mind-blowing, and the love story will make you a true believer in soulmates. Prepare to feel ALL the feelings!

If you want contemporary romance that makes you laugh out loud: The Agitators series by Meghan Quinn - Posey’s book, So This Is War, is hands down THE funniest romance I've ever read, but you gotta start with Book 1 because his is Book 5! These books are pure joy + heat + hilarity. You WILL laugh until you cry, I guarantee it!

If you’re secretly (or not-so-secretly) dreaming of a hot billionaire: Billionaire romances by Annika Martin - These are smart, funny, and completely swoon-worthy! Because honestly, who DOESN'T want a billionaire who's actually kind, strong, AND ridiculously hot?! Start with The Billionaire’s Wake-up-call Girl and thank me later!

If you want gorgeously written fantasy with South Asian inspiration: The Gilded Wolves or The Star-Touched Queen by Roshani Chokshi - Her prose is SO stunning you'll want to underline every other sentence! Seriously, the writing alone is worth the read, and then you get an amazing story on top of it!

If you want rom-com vibes that’ll make you smile: Love You, Love You Not by Jo Watson - Funny, sweet, and absolutely delightful! Perfect for when you need something light and happy that’ll put a smile on your face.

If you want addictive romantasy you can binge: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas - Yes, like the rest of the entire world, Book 2 (A Court of Mist and Fury) is my favorite! But you gotta start with Book 1 - trust me on this, the payoff is INCREDIBLE! (Also: Throne of Glass and Crescent City are both amazing if you want more SJM)

If you want storytelling that absolutely hooks you: Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor - The way this woman weaves a story is actual MAGIC! You will not be able to put this down. Don't even try to fight it!

If you want an OG romance that will make you cry (in the best way): A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux - This was one of the very first romance novels that made me ugly cry! Time travel, heartbreak, and a love story I've literally never forgotten. Have tissues ready!

If you want SPICY contemporary romance that turns up the heat: Give Me More by Sara Cate - This throuple romance is absolutely SCORCHING! 🔥 If you're ready for serious steam and a story that'll have you fanning yourself, Sara Cate delivers! Fair warning: keep a glass of ice water nearby!

Bonus: If you want a romance writer right here on Substack: Cali Mann - She's here on Substack AND she gives away free books all the time! How amazing is that?! Definitely worth a follow!

Start with whichever one calls to you - there’s literally NO wrong choice here! Just different flavors of guaranteed happy endings! 💖

Subscribe now

1. The Teacher Who Changed My Life 💌

2. 🖤 7 Paranormal Romance Worlds To Binge Right Now

3. 🌟 How to Start Creating a Vision for Your Dream Life In 30 Minutes or Less

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Send this to your book-loving friend who needs permission to read "trash." Forward it to your sister who hides her Kindle screen. Share it in your group chat with the caption "THIS IS US." Let's make 2026 the year we stop apologizing for what brings us joy! 💖

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Hello, fabulous!

Quick check-in from the land of “I did not ask for this timeline.”

You know what I’ve been hearing a lot lately? Some version of “I just can’t anymore.”

Can’t read the news. Can’t argue with relatives. Can’t perform the right level of outrage on the internet. Can’t keep track of who’s problematic this week. Can’t make it make sense.

I get it. I really do.

Politics has become this thing where you’re supposed to have an opinion on everything, immediately, with receipts, or you’re part of the problem. Where one wrong word gets you dragged. Where both options feel bad so why bother choosing. Where it all feels like performance anyway—everyone’s just yelling into the void and nothing actually changes.

So you’ve muted it, or you’ve decided “both sides are terrible” and peaced out. Or maybe you’re just so tired of being angry that you’d rather focus on things you can actually control, like your sourdough starter or whether to get bangs.

I’m not here to shame you for that. I've been there too. Some days I'm still there.

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But here’s the thing I keep coming back to that won’t let me fully check out even when I really, REALLY want to: opting out doesn’t make you neutral. It just means someone else is making decisions for you. About you. About the people you love.

And right now, the ones making those decisions are conducting illegal mass deportations of immigrants, silencing the press, treating the Constitution like a rough draft, and openly saying they want to be dictators “just for a day.” (It’s never just a day.)

I’m not both-sidesing this because I can’t. I spent over 20 years in uniform defending the Constitution—not a person, not a party, the actual document. The idea that we're all equal under the law. That rights aren't gifts from leaders, they're guarantees. That power gets checked, not worshipped.

When I hear leaders start talking about terminating the Constitution or using the military against American citizens, that’s not normal political disagreement. It’s personal. It’s a betrayal against everything I believe in and our country’s democratic ideals.

And look, I know you’re tired. I know it feels like too much. I know you didn’t sign up to be a full-time activist or policy expert or professional opinion-haver.

You don’t have to be any of those things.

But you do have to understand this, and I say it with all the love I have: stepping back because it all feels too much doesn’t protect you. It doesn’t protect your kids, your healthcare, your retirement, your community, your rights. It just means the loudest, angriest people get to rewrite the rules while you’re trying to find some peace.

I know what you’re feeling because I feel it too:

“I don’t know what’s true anymore.” The chaos is designed that way. Confusion keeps us frozen, and frozen people don’t fight back.

“Everything feels rigged anyway.” Sometimes it is. And that’s exactly why we can’t afford to hand it over completely.

“I don’t want to pick a team.” Then don’t. Pick principles instead. Pick rules that apply to everyone, not just the people we like.

“What can I even do that matters?” More than you think. Way less than you’re afraid of.

Here’s what I keep coming back to when I’m overwhelmed, when I want to burn it all down or just walk away:

• We don’t threaten people who disagree with us.

• We don’t treat leaders like kings who can do no wrong.

• We don’t excuse horrific behavior just because “our side” is doing it.

• We don’t call accountability “persecution.”

• And we absolutely don’t joke about being dictators, not even for a day.

That’s the line. Not Democrat or Republican, left or right. Just the baseline for a country that doesn’t eat itself alive.

When a movement crosses those lines—when they celebrate cruelty, reject accountability, demand loyalty over law—I don’t care what party they belong to. That’s not politics. It’s the END of politics.

I’m not asking you to make this your whole personality, to have all the answers, or to never feel tired.

I’m just asking you not to disappear.

Because when good people check out, the worst people notice. They move fast to pass laws while you’re not looking. They dismantle protections you thought were permanent. And then one day it affects you directly—your kid’s school, your healthcare, your neighbor being rounded up—and you think, “How did we get here?”

We got here because regular people got exhausted and the extremists never do.

Democracy isn’t exciting. It’s not a peak experience or a viral moment. It’s maintenance. Tedious, repetitive, deeply unsexy maintenance.

Like going to the dentist or changing your oil or checking your smoke detectors. You don’t do it because it sparks joy. You do it because the alternative is your house burning down or your teeth falling out.

So if you’re thinking, “Okay, but what can I actually do that won’t consume my entire life?”—I’m right there with you.

Here’s what you can do:

• Call your representatives about one thing that matters to you. It takes five minutes. They actually count these. Your voice is data they use.

• Pick one issue and get unconfused on purpose. Not everything. Just one thing. Learn it well enough that you can’t be easily manipulated about it.

• Vote in local elections. Not just the big presidential ones—the school board races, the city council seats, the ballot measures that actually shape your daily life. Vote411.org will show you what's on your ballot and when. Local is where your vote has the most power and where most people aren't paying attention.

• Support something local: your library, a community org, local journalism, mutual aid. The small stuff holds everything else up.

• Show up once to something nearby. A school board meeting. City council. Just to see how the sausage gets made.

• Talk to one real person like they’re a real person, not a comment section or an avatar or a lost cause.

That’s it. You don’t need a law degree or a podcast or perfect moral clarity about every issue on earth.

You just need to refuse to disappear.

When you check out, you don’t escape the consequences. You just lose your voice in deciding what they’ll be. And the people who stay in the room when you leave? They’re not always the ones you’d want making decisions for your family.

If you’re ready to get involved—I’m here.

No judgment for how long you disconnected. No purity tests about whether you’re doing enough. No shame for still being tired.

Just a quiet, steady invitation to not let the worst people win by default.

We need you. Not perfect…just present.

With all my encouragement and support,

For my Popstars & Headliners:

I made you something! Two full size (8x10 or 11 x14) printable graphics you can download, print, and put wherever you need the reminder:

Stick one on your fridge. Tack one to your bulletin board. Slip one in your planner. Put it wherever you need to see it when you’re tempted to check out completely.

Because sometimes we need a visual reminder that this matters, that we’re still in this, that refusing to disappear is its own act of resistance.

Not sure where to start?

Step 1: Read this Substack post by Leona Waller. It provides a practical, clear-eyed breakdown of five simple things you can do as a regular person trying to make difference. Choose three.

Step 2: Go to 5calls.org and it hands you the numbers and a script. You can do democracy in under five minutes, wearing pajamas, fueled by spite or espresso. Both count.

Step 3: If this resonated, forward it to one friend who’s been saying “I’m done with all of it.” For Democracy.

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A quick note…I’m playing with a few new Sandrapop formats this month so if it feels experimental, that’s on purpose. Enjoy! 💖

Hello, fabulous!

My friend Jessica just discovered paranormal romance and I've been waiting my entire adult life for this conversation.

I was catching up with her this weekend. She lives in Minneapolis and like a lot of places right now, it’s been… a lot. So we’re talking, we’re venting, we’re keeping each other sane when she casually dropped this:

“I’ve gotten into romantasy and paranormal romance.”

Like, what?!! I LOST my damn mind.

I’ve been training for this moment my entire life, waiting for the day someone said these exact words to me in this exact order. New friendship level UNLOCKED.

This is my absolute favorite corner of romance, y’all. The place where love gets dramatic and delicious, and also occasionally tries to kill you. The genres where a man can be immortal, morally questionable, and yet still deeply committed to you, to the point of absurd devotion. It’s the perfect spicy combination.

Of COURSE I had a million recommendations! I promised Jessica a list, spent way too much time curating my favorites, and then realized: if she needs this, you probably need this too.

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If you’ve ever been curious about paranormal romance but didn’t know where to start, this is for you. If you loved Twilight back in the day and are looking for grown up, spicier versions of Edward and Bella, this is for you. If you just want to understand why I’m the way I am about fictional men with fangs and commitment issues, this is DEFINITELY for you.

Grab yourself a little something to cool down (you’ll need it) and let’s get to it!

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

🎶

I also made a Spotify playlist that matches the vibe of these series perfectly. Moody, intense, and a little "I probably shouldn't fall for this vampire" energy. Perfect.

Quick Definitions

• Romantasy = fantasy-world-with-romance-front-and-center (think ACOTAR, Fourth Wing)

• Paranormal romance = our modern world… but make it supernatural (vampires, demons, angels living among us)

I love both, but today we’re focusing on paranormal romance. Think of this as my “if you like your love stories with fangs and fate and the occasional apocalypse” starter pack.

The series on this list are my OGs. They paved the way for everything that came after, including the romantasy books dominating BookTok right now. But before Rhysand and Rowan, there was Lothaire and the Lykae and a whole pantheon of vampires, demons, and immortal warriors who taught me I prefer my romance with danger, devotion, and A LOT of “burn the world down for you” energy.

(One of the reasons I fell for Speed is because he’s the most romantic regular man I’ve ever met. He had to be, to compete with literal immortals. 😍)

Choose Your Fated Mate

I’m giving you where to start + my fave + the vibe so you can pick based on your mood.

• If you want chaos and banter and immortals who are emotionally unwell → Immortals After Dark

• If you want found family and guaranteed spice and “touch her and die” energy → Demonica

• If you want epic angst and mythology and tortured heroes → Dark Hunter

• If you want angels with power and politics and tension you can taste → Guild Hunter

• If you want guaranteed spice and brotherhood vibes and emotional carbs → Black Dagger Brotherhood

• If you want apocalypse romance that somehow works → The Four Horsemen

• If you want Greek myth meets modern danger and protective heroes → Eternal Guardians

I've also included a song pick from the playlist that perfectly captures each couple's energy—the angst, the longing, the "I would burn the world down for you" energy.

Okay. Now let’s get into the Hall of Fame.

Immortals After Dark by Kresley Cole is my #1 paranormal romance series because, frankly, it cracks me up! It’s the perfect mix of funny, sexy, and smart.

She gives you immortals that are powerful and dangerous, but they’re still petty and jealous and emotionally unwell. This makes them feel totally human… like you can meet them at the coffee shop and bond over why therapy is great, but so is imagining your enemy getting cursed by a vindictive forest witch.

I started with No Rest for the Wicked, immediately got hooked, then went back to read the series from the beginning. Once you realize you’ve accidentally walked into an entire paranormal universe with werewolves and vampires and demons and lore that goes on forever and ever, you have two options:

1. pretend you’re normal and walk away

2. surrender fully and immediately

OF COURSE I chose surrender.

There’s something about the contrast of “I’ve lived a thousand years” with “I’m going out of my mind because you looked at someone else” that absolutely works for me.

All the characters are amazing. Nïx, the self-proclaimed Ever-Knowing, Soothsayer Without Equal, General of the New Army of Vertas, is my favorite female character of the entire series because the shit that comes out of her mouth is wild. One of my favorite more tame Nïx quotes: “I prefer predeterminationally abled, thank you.” A woman that makes up her own words is a soul sister.

But Lothaire, The Enemy of Old, is my absolute favorite in the series.

Listen. He wasn’t just arrogant - he was deadass cruel. He abducts Ellie and treats her like an animal because he believes she is beneath him and wants to use her body as the vessel for his long-dead bride. But because he’s such an asshole to her and so resistant to the thought of her being his true love, the entire time you’re reading his book, you’re wondering, like, how’s this going to work? How is the author going to make him falling in love with Ellie believable??

And yet she does! And you loooooove it. His story arc was so satisfying! IMO, it’s one of the best reformed bad boy stories in this entire genre, especially because he was so committed to his initial mission so you know it took a lot for him to do a 180 for Ellie. Or maybe “reformed” isn’t the right word, because he was STILL an asshole and cruel, but not to her and she absolutely brings him to his knees. Not to mention, the S-E-X was H-O-T.

If you’ve never read paranormal romance, I do highly recommend you start with this series. This is the blueprint. This is the series that will make you realize you prefer your romance with a side of ancient prophecy and occasional soul-stealing schemes.

In Larissa Ione’s Demonica series, demons run a hospital in the underworld. That’s the hook, and it is a good one. But what keeps me coming back - what made me fall completely in love with this world - isn't just the premise. It's the way Ione builds this world so thoroughly that you feel like you actually live there.

Like you could walk into Underworld General Hospital and know exactly where the supply closet is, which demon works which shift, and who's having drama with who in the break room.

It’s Grey’s Anatomy meets Supernatural, except everyone’s immortal, morally complicated, and the medical emergencies involve things like, you know, “cursed demon blood” and “accidental soul extraction.”

You also get invested in all of the characters, even the secondary ones. Everyone's carrying wounds. Everyone's one bad day away from a breakdown. Everyone needs therapy, but they'd probably stab the therapist.

The vibe is hot, dark, fast-paced, emotionally satisfying, and just structured enough to make your brain happy. The heroes have been through hell. Literally. They've got scars, damage, and coping mechanisms that would make a therapist weep.

And the best part is that the love stories don't erase their damage or magically fix them - they work with it. The characters claim each other anyway, bruises and all. Which I really like because real people ARE damaged. Sometimes we’re emotional crime scenes walking around pretending we’re fine, and we need to know we can be loved in spite of it. We deserve to be loved even when we’re not healed.

Reaver and Harvester, perfect examples of imperfect people, are two of my favorites in this series. In his book, Reaver is an angel with a forgotten past, a tortured family history, and a heart he doesn’t even know how to access until he has to. Harvester is a fallen angel who’s been embedded deep undercover in hell for centuries, pretending to be cruel and heartless while secretly protecting the very people she’s supposed to betray. She’s been tortured, broken, discarded…and STILL gets back up swinging.

They shouldn’t work. They don’t work - on paper. But on the page? Fireworks. Because they’ve seen the worst in themselves and each other, and they choose each other anyway. They forgive what can’t be forgotten. They fight through rage and guilt and history and still manage to fall in love like they’ve never been hurt before.

Their story has the kind of payoff that makes you want to stand up and clap in your living room, like you just watched the Game of Thrones finale - but this time they actually stuck the landing, gave us closure, and didn’t ruin eight years of emotional investment. (Reaver is Book 10, by the way. Worth. Every. Page.)

Honestly, these books give me everything: heat, heart, men who are terrifying to enemies but devastatingly devoted with the woman they love, and the kind of obsessive loyalty that would be a red flag in real life but in fiction? Perfection.

That dynamic will always do it for me. AL-WAYS.

I started with Acheron, which is a fun way to enter Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark Hunter universe because it’s not just a book, it’s an emotional event.

Dark Hunters are immortal warriors who sold their souls to the goddess Artemis in exchange for one act of vengeance. Now they protect humanity from soul-sucking demons called Daimons, fighting every night for a world that will never know they exist.

It's Greek mythology colliding with modern-day New Orleans, and the setup is addictive: cursed immortals, ancient prophecies, gods with petty grudges, and love stories that span millennia.

Acheron is the leader of the Dark Hunters, a silver-eyed angsty Atlantean god where you’re like: Sir… who hurt you? (Answer: everyone. Repeatedly. For centuries.) He’s the full package of mythic tragedy and ride-or-die devotion - a god forged in heartbreak who still chooses to protect people over punishing them.

His backstory is devastating (trigger warnings galore), but that’s what makes his love story so earned. He’s not a perfect, brooding alpha…he’s a deeply wounded immortal who thinks he’s unlovable, and yet when Tory sees him - the real, broken, scared him - she doesn’t run.

His power is epic, but his restraint is what makes him unforgettable; he could end the world but would rather hold your hand and quietly make it better. And that’s the fantasy.

Acheron is Book 12 and can be read as a standalone; however, his story was SO good it made me want to start the series from the beginning. It’s still my favorite book in the entire genre and one of the few I’ve ever reread multiple times.

Then there’s Styxx. I was completely convinced he was evil through and through. He’s Acheron’s twin brother, super hot, but that’s where the similarities ended…or so I thought!

Then I read Styxx and got his origin story…Ugh, I’ve judged too soon! He wasn't the villain. He was the scapegoat. He wasn't just a smug twin with a superiority complex. He was used as a pawn by their mother, shaped by brutal circumstances, and basically paid for other people's choices his entire existence.

His story arc will suck you in and is honestly just as good as Acheron’s because you’re convinced there’s no way you could ever like him, let alone love him, and yet…you do. I’ve also reread this one.

Kenyon does myth + anguish + redemption + ride-or-die love at a massive scale so, so well. Gods. Curses. Fate. Warriors who’ve been carrying grief for thousands of years and still find their way back to love like it’s a lifeline. It’s so angsty, I can’t even.

The Guild Hunter series is all about angels with wings and centuries of baggage. Nalini Singh doesn’t give you “sparkly angel boyfriend who just wants to cuddle and protect you from mean people.”

Oh nooooo.

She gives you power, politics, violence, devotion, and immortals who’ve been alive long enough to develop very strong opinions, very specific grudges, and very unhealthy coping mechanisms for dealing with eternity.

These angels are apex predators with wings. Super hot and super scary. Beautiful + terrifying = the most irresistible combo in romantasy land, and I will die on this hill. Because when you can tame the terrifying, that’s the whole fantasy, right? The idea that something powerful and lethal chooses YOU. Not because you’re safe or easy, but because you’re worth the risk of becoming vulnerable. It’s the power, the restraint, the obsession, the choice.

AAAGHHH. So good!

My favorite book is Archangel’s Blade. I’ve read it twice and it’s the one I think about the most. In this one, Dmitri has been devoted to his dead wife for centuries and Honor has trust issues because bad things happened to her that I won’t spoil here.

The whole time you’re wondering if Dmitri loves Honor for her, for what she reminds him of, or for something more complicated and haunting. And I eat this trope up because I love watching an author thread that needle - don’t just give me reunion vibes, give me proof.

Also, the Cadre of Ten adds another high stakes layer to the story. You’re never sure if they’re good or evil, or what side they’ll end up on. For example, Lijuan, one of the ancients in the Cadre, is ancient in a way that feels real and really creepy. You never fully know what she’s up to, but you can confidently assume it involves suffering, collateral damage, and at least three people making very bad decisions. Even though she causes harm, does she have good reason to? Is she ultimately justified? The only way to know is to read the series.

If you want paranormal romance with tension you can taste, a world that feels like it’s been there long before you cracked open the book, and characters who carry time like a weapon? This series is absolutely for you.

The Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward is urban fantasy romance with a capital F for formula.

Look, I know these books follow a blueprint. I KNOW they’re structured like clockwork. But sometimes you don’t want innovation. Sometimes you just want to clock in, grab your emotional support snack, and know exactly what you’re about to get: fierce energy, volcanic emotions, scorching scenes, and a hero so singularly focused on his woman that "devoted" feels like an understatement.

Oh, and the NAMES. The names are iconic. Zsadist. Wrath. Vishous. They sound like they belong etched into leather, inked on skin, or spray-painted on the side of a motorcycle. You’re not going to meet a man named Rhage at Costco, and if you do, run…or get his number. Depends on the vibe.

Ward writes men who are catastrophically broken but still manage to show up thinking, "I don't know how to accept love… but I'll figure it out. For her." Hard exteriors. Molten centers. Gets me every time.

My favorite is Lover Awakened, which is basically everyone’s favorite because Zsadist is THE template for “thought he was irredeemable until he wasn’t.” He had a reputation for sinister deeds and brutality, so wrecked he barely felt human anymore. Everyone thought he was beyond saving.Then Bella walked into his life and he waged an all-out war for his own soul. She didn’t heal him through sweetness, though. She stood firm, refused mediocrity, and made him meet her halfway.

This is peak “everyone thinks he’s lost but watch him prove them wrong” fantasy.

The brotherhood dynamic is half the draw. The found-family element runs deep. The unwavering loyalty between the male characters feels like a tangible thing alive with its own language. You show up for the romance and become emotionally invested in the entire crew.

Predictable? Absolutely. But predictable like your favorite meal - reliable and satisfying. This series is comfort in book form. Guaranteed spice. Dependable angst. Emotional carbs.

And sometimes that’s exactly what you need.

I’m weirdly fascinated by end-of-world scenarios, so The Four Horsemen series by Laura Thalassa grabbed me by the throat immediately. The Four Horsemen? Literal civilization collapse? How does romance even happen when the background noise is sirens, screaming, and societal breakdown?

Because realistically, apocalyptic romance makes zero sense. Everyone should be chronically dehydrated. Everyone should have survival as their only priority. Nobody should have bandwidth for emotional vulnerability when grocery stores are looted, there’s no toilet paper, and we’re all spiraling toward Mad Max territory.

And yet… it absolutely works. 😅

That’s the genius of this series. Thalassa takes the least romantic scenario imaginable - the actual end of days - and transforms it into something compulsively readable. I’m not embarrassed to admit I became fully invested in the personification of destruction.

Each book plays like a disaster film where you’re simultaneously horrified and lowkey rooting for the antagonist, until you realize you’ve crossed over from “rooting for” to desperately wanting him to process his pain and maybe reconsider the whole apocalypse thing.

The chemistry is intense: “I hate you but also don’t you dare look away from me.” You’re not sure if the next scene is going to be a fight, a kiss, or both.

But honestly the heroines carry these books. These women scrap, fight back, and don’t roll over for fate just because fate showed up on a pale horse with a bad attitude and excellent cheekbones.

My favorite was Death. Thanatos is ruthless, unmerciful, ice cold, and stronger than his three brothers combined, which means his love takedown by Lazarus is so much more satisfying.

He says the kind of things that sound like a death sentence… but the way he says it makes it feel like foreplay. She is NOT letting him get his way and fights him with everything she has to try to save humanity. He’s deadly, she’s motivated, and we’re all hot and bothered.

All four brothers show up in this book too, a total bonus.

It’s shadowy, relentless, and it has you thinking this is insane…while flipping pages like your life depends on it.

Last but not least is Elisabeth Naughton’s Eternal Guardians series.

The Eternal Guardians are descendants of the Argonauts - yes, THOSE Argonauts from Greek mythology - who now protect the hidden realm of Argolea (think: magical parallel Greece) from demons and threats. They're basically immortal warrior royalty with serious daddy issues courtesy of Zeus, ancient prophecies hanging over their heads, and a whole realm depending on them not screwing up.

I started with Tempted.

Demetrius is peak tortured Guardian energy, the one everyone’s a little scared of, convinced his darkness makes him unlovable. He’s spent centuries weaponizing distance, building walls so high you’d need climbing gear.

Isadora is is the half-breed daughter of a powerful Argolean, which means she’s royalty but also treated like she’s made of glass. Everyone underestimates her. Everyone handles her with kid gloves. Everyone thinks “fragile.”

They’re all wrong.

Watching him realize she’s not delicate while she realizes his walls are no match for her is oh so yummy!

The women in this series are smart, capable, and not out here making decisions like they’ve never met consequences before. They hold their own and don’t fold just because a hot immortal growls at them. They growl back. As we all should.

The setup threads Greek mythology through a contemporary world without feeling like a textbook. You get gods with grudges (Zeus is THE WORST), prophecies, ancient vendettas, and all that “your ancestor’s mistakes are now your problem” drama.

Also, there’s something about myth-based stories that just hits different because fate feels inevitable. It isn’t a passive, subtle theme in this series. You get:

✅ destined mates
✅ centuries-old enemies
✅ forbidden attraction
✅ someone who is about to sacrifice themselves and ruin my entire mood

You know it's coming, and somehow that makes it better. The brilliance is watching characters get yanked around by destiny while still having to decide. Because prophecy might throw them together, but staying together? That's on them. The gods can be petty, fate can be dramatic, but love without choice is just obligation.

If you like your romance with ancient curses, modern danger, loyal heroes, and heroines who don’t need saving but wouldn’t mind a little backup? Put this series on your list.

Why Paranormal Romance Hits Different

What makes paranormal romance so addictive isn’t just the fangs and the magic. It’s the STAKES. When he’s immortal and their love is fated and breaking up means defying destiny itself, everything feels more potent. The devotion is obsessive. The danger feels imminent. The happy ending feels EARNED because they had to fight gods and fate and their own suffering to get there.

It’s the upgraded, glow-up version of the romance novels that kept me company in my teens and 20s. I still get the same little jolt when I crack open the first page, the same dramatic angst when I’m waiting for the slow burn to finally catch fire, but now there’s magic, shapeshifters, fated mates, and the occasional world-ending prophecy sprinkled in, which somehow makes it feel so much more… MORE.

And, listen, I do NOT want to meet a vampire in real life because they’d probably be terrifying and quite frankly disgusting. But in a make-believe world they’re mysterious, clever, sexy as hell… and I AM DOWN.

That’s it. That’s the list.

Seven series that have given me hours - no, years - of escape, comfort, and pure entertainment. And now I’ve shared them with you.

Jessica’s getting this list. You’re getting this list. And if you pick even ONE of these series and fall in love with it, my work here is done.

If you’re already obsessed with these books: we’re basically best friends now and I need to know your favorites immediately.

And if you’re NEW to paranormal romance and about to dive in? Godspeed. See you on the other side. Prepare to become insufferable about fictional immortals. It’s absolutely worth it.

Next time…

I’m going to tell you how a girl in a bedroom so small the door wouldn’t open became a woman who still reads romance novels like her life depends on it. Because in a lot of ways, it does

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Hello, fabulous!

Our last newsletter was about my “oh shit” moment and the very clear realization that there is no magical “later” when everything aligns perfectly and you finally have time to chase your dreams. So today, I'm walking you through the three-step process that took me from "I should want this" to "I actually want THIS".

You'll learn how to identify your core values, shift from chasing goals to chasing feelings, and write your dream day in present tense so you can see what's already here and what you're ready to claim. Best of all, if you’re a Popstar or Headliner, you also get the very first January Popstar Kit today with tools to help you get it all done in 30 minutes or less! 🎉

So grab your coffee, get comfy, and let me walk you through exactly how I did this so you can do it too. ☕

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

How I’m Approaching 2026 Differently

Here’s the thing about January: we’re all supposed to have these big, ambitious goals figured out by January 1st, right? New year, new you, all that pressure. But what if instead of goals that stress you out, you just got really clear on what your actual dream life looks like?

I shared recently that I’m not doing resolutions this year—instead, I’m living 2026 according to 7 core values that actually matter to me. To be honest, that shift from “what should I accomplish” to “how do I want to FEEL and LIVE” has been E-VER-Y-THING.

That’s what January is about for me. Not hustling harder or overhauling everything—just getting crystal clear on what I actually want so I can start building toward it without the burnout. I spent too many years doing things I wasn’t passionate about to waste another second not pursuing my best life.

To that end, I just completed the Vision Board Workshop, and it was soooo good! I looooove goals, visualization, writing things down… but a truly inspiring vision board has always escaped me. I get overwhelmed and just never finish it. This time was different, though. Camille, being the amazing guide that she is, broke it down in a way that finally made sense to me.

During her workshop, she had us do an exercise where you describe your ideal day in detail. Like, MINUTE detail—not just what you’re doing, but how you’re feeling too. And suddenly, my soft reset had a north star. Yesssss!

I’ll be working on my actual vision board throughout January, and I’ll share it with you in a future newsletter. But for now, here are the three steps I used to get started and actually complete my “A Day in My Dream Life” vision.

Popstars & Headliners: Your January Kit walks you through how to identify your core values, shift from chasing goals to chasing feelings, and write your dream day in present tense—more on that at the end of the newsletter!

I’m going to be totally real with you: I did Camille’s workshop, wrote out my dream day in ridiculous detail, and then immediately flew to Puerto Rico for five days.

And you know what I did the entire trip? Thought about my to-do list. Sigh.

We were literally IN my dream scenario—tropical location, quality time with Speed, beautiful weather, adventure, all of it. And I spent half the time thinking about what I “should” be doing back home instead of just... being there.

And here’s another confession…I’ve been living in my dream house like I’m still waiting for the landlord to approve my paint colors.

We BOUGHT this place. Pool, palm trees, the whole Florida fantasy. And yet every time I think about what I actually want my life to look like, I catch myself thinking, “Maybe later. Once things settle. When I’m more prepared.”

Prepared for WHAT? I own the house. We’re not moving. WHAT AM I ACTUALLY WAITING FOR???

This was me, once again, playing it safe—ugh! Keeping my dreams just vague enough that I couldn’t mess them up. Small enough that I couldn’t regret them. Because if I didn’t fully name what I wanted, I didn’t have to risk choosing wrong.

It felt responsible. It was actually fear.

So I stopped and asked myself the uncomfortable question: “What’s is the obstacle here?” And the answer surprised me.

It was permission.

Permission to actually ENJOY the life I’m building instead of constantly thinking about what’s next, treating it like a waiting room for something better. Permission to want things loudly, specifically and unapologetically.

Which, frankly, totally surprised me. Because if you know me, you know restraint is NOT on the friendship menu. I’m the first to say “Why choose? Do both!” “Book the trip!” “Why not now?”…indulging is literally my default setting.

But I’ve also been living with something my sister told me after our brother died in 2023, and it’s shaping so much of how I see my midlife. We were talking about Mami and how different her decision-making process is from ours. And my sister—who is nine years younger than me but sometimes so much wiser—said:

“You have to understand that Mami has always been in survival mode. She’s had to survive so much so that’s what she bases her choices on: what is the safest thing?”

And it hit me like a freaking brick.

My mom is my hero - she’s persevered through so much hardship with grace, optimism, and joy and created a peaceful life for herself that she totally deserves. It makes sense that she operates that way. But even though my adult life looks nothing like hers did, I realized… I do that too.

I plan for the worst case scenarios. I base big decisions on how to avoid disaster, not how to build the best possible outcome. And while that’s kept me safe and successful… it’s also kept me just far enough away from making my biggest dreams come true.

Sometimes I seek permission when no one’s stopping me, or crave validation of my ideas when I just need to jump in already. Paralysis by analysis and FOMO are constants in my life that take huge effort to work through and I’ve always wondered why. Now I know! Eldest daughter syndrome. It’s a whole vibe, y’all.

Once I had that “aha” moment, though, I finally had something to work with and everything started to click. I wasn’t missing strategy—I was missing permission. And I reminded myself that I was allowed to imagine the best case scenario too.

🎤 So before we move on to the next three steps, I want to say this LOUD and CLEAR:

💛 You already have permission.

💛 You're allowed to want what you want.

💛 Even if it feels messy or unclear or too bold.

💛 Even if you’re scared.

Whatever that quiet little craving is that’s been whispering naughty or nice things to you lately? You’re allowed to follow it. Full stop.

Keep that in the back of your mind as we go through the rest together.

Read more

Hello, fabulous!

Our last Coffee Catchup was about our huge move back to the United States and all of our adventures this summer. We had a blast! Somehow Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went in a flash, and now here we are in January, starting another year.

I’ve been working on something really special—a 2026 vision that’s less about hustle and more about actually living the life I want. Next week, I’m sharing my full “dream day” exercise, the vision board workshop that changed everything, all inspired by the 7 values I’m living by this year. It’s going to be good, I promise.

But for now? Let’s catch up on life! ☕

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

Coffee Moment ☕📸

Life Lately 🌟

2025 was the year everything changed and I mean everything—like the universe said “you wanted excitement? Here’s chaos with a mortgage.” 😭🤣

We moved back to the States, bought our dream house in Florida with the pool and the palm trees and all the HGTV vibes, and finally settled near family we actually like spending time with (which—let's be honest—is its own kind of miracle). And then I sat down on my patio one morning with my delicious Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino, looked around my gorgeous garden, and had the most Xennial existential crisis ever:

This is it. We're not leaving in two years.

There’s no next duty station, no expiration date on this chapter. We’re here. We’re home! OMGGGG WE ARE HOME. And suddenly I had this moment of “oooooh shit, now I actually have to build the life I’ve been talking about for the last two decades!”

For years—literally years—I blamed my job for everything. Not enough time to write. Not enough energy to pursue my passions. Not enough mental bandwidth to figure out what I actually wanted because my brain was too busy thinking about translating Chinese Mandarin and recruiting people and teaching classes and creating SharePoint sites and worrying about “did I remember to email so-and-so back?” Fun… but sooooo mentally exhausting.

And then the job went away, and you know what happened? I'M. STILL. BUSY. Shockingly busy.

The to-do list didn’t vanish—it just rebranded. Now it’s home projects, family obligations, all the invisible labor that comes with actually living somewhere instead of just passing through like a tourist in your own life. Which I’m not necessarily complaining about because I’d rather be doing what I’m doing now, but still…

This taught me the most annoying lesson EVER: there is no magical “later” when everything aligns perfectly and you finally have time to chase your dreams. That’s a huge freaking lie we tell ourselves so we don’t have to start today and risk failing.

The people who say “just start now” aren’t giving motivational cringe—they’re being devastatingly honest. Because if you’re waiting for the perfect time, you’re going to die waiting. And that's bleak, sure, but it’s also very freeing.

So here’s what I’m doing differently in 2026: I’m done treating my goals like hobbies I’ll get to “when life calms down” because life doesn’t calm down. It just changes channels—same noise, different show.

This year, Sandrapop isn’t just a newsletter—it’s my laboratory. My place to figure out how to balance the “have-tos” with the “want-tos” without losing my mind or my joy in the process.

I’m going to mess up. I’m going to overschedule myself like the overachieving eldest daughter that I am, then have to dramatically pull back and recalibrate. I’m going to share the wins and the spectacular face-plants, because tbh if I have to figure this out anyway, we might as well figure it out together and make it entertaining. So, buckle up… I hope you’re ready for a wild 2026 ride!

Snapshots 📸

Here are five ways I’m leaning into my best year.

Some links are affiliate links, which means I might earn a small commission if you buy something I recommend, at no extra cost to you.

👏🏽 Indulging in old school fun. “Going analog” seems to be the theme of 2026 and we’ve definitely caught the bug! It’s been really nice to break out the board games and spend hours together, laughing our heads off. To make it sweeter, I’m officially our family’s Queen of Monopoly, laying the smack down on my boys. #sorrynotsorry

👏🏽 Beach days are back! It’s December in Florida but you can’t even tell. The skies, the weather, the water are all GLORIOUS! We’ve been getting in some much-needed vitamin sea, which we missed out on while living in Germany (truly, one of the only few negatives). Now that we live here, we’re taking advantage of being only 30 minutes from the beach … AND DOLPHINS! My sister took this in the AM… another reason to be a morning person!

👏🏽 Traveling in our own “backyard”. Our first weekend getaway in Florida was to St Augustine for our 22nd anniversary in October and it was fabulous! Speed also went on a solo three-week road trip to Vegas, visiting friends and family along the way. Our next family trip is this week to Puerto Rico - Max was called up to try out for the U20 Puerto Rico Men’s National soccer team! We’re so proud of him! If he gets selected, our next trip will be to Curaçao in February. Please wish him luck and keep your fingers crossed!

👏🏽 Pen & paper therapy. I’ve never been a consistent journaler, but something about 2026 just feels different. I’m already obsessed with paper and pen—planners, letters, notes, all of it—so journaling feels like the natural next step. I’m using The Human Journal to keep track of my monthly goals, and it’s been way more relaxing than I expected. Totally digging it.

👏🏽 Building my art muscle. I've always been jealous of my art friends—how they bring these gorgeous creations to life from imagination to fingertips. This year, I'm trying my hand at watercolor on our covered patio. My friend Jeannie (I miss you!) had me over to paint on canvas and make glass birds earlier this year, so I finally get why artists get lost for hours. My mother-in-law generously got me a watercolor set for Christmas and I've got some booklets to guide me. Maybe I'll share some attempts in future newsletters?

Current Crushes 💘

Part of building my dream life is using products that actually make me feel good—not just aspirational “someday” things, but stuff I use every single day. Affordable, practical, and genuinely worth it. Here are my current favorites.

1// Crosley Retro Portable Speaker 2// Linea Donatella 3-Pc. Pajama Set 3// Versace Bright Crystal 4// Olaplex Hair Products 5// L’Occitane Almond Shower Oil 6// Stuff Every Coffee Lover Should Know 7// Foldable Silicone Mat for Makeup & Hot Tools 8// NYT Puzzlemania

On My Bookshelf 📚

Another thing I’m doing in 2026 is intentionally reading at least one book a week and tracking them in the Bookshelf app. Here’s what’s currently on my nightstand this week:

Y2K Betrayal by . Super excited to finish this one! Tania is a Brisbane-based rom-com author and fellow Substacker. This is the sequel to her Y2K Love, which she is kindly letting me preview before it’s released on January 14th. Look out for my review soon! Check out the book on Amazon and/or pre-order for $3.99 here.

Hill House Living by Paula Sutton. This hardcover book is gorgeous but also chock full of tips and advice on how to live more beautifully. Paula says, “I always think the best shopping experiences occur when the three ‘F’s come together: Fate, Finance, Fabulousness”. Um, hellooooo? How can I NOT love this one? If you love pretty + fabulous + practical, this one’s for you.

Tunes on Repeat 🎶

I’ve been obsessed with Spotify’s Women of Pop playlist lately. It has exactly the kind of female energy I want for 2026. You’ve got the OGs—Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Taylor, Shakira—mixed with the younger crew like Sabrina Carpenter, Olivia Rodrigo, Katseye, and Addison Rae. It feels like the torch is being passed and I’m so here for it.

Current faves: “Water” by Tyla, “Running Up That Hill” by Kate Bush (yes, the Stranger Things one), “2002” by Anne-Marie, and “From the Start” by Lauv.

TV Binge Report 🍿

Gratitude Corner 🌺

💛 Our house is a greedy, needy little biatch, but we love her and we’re so happy she’s ours.

💛 I was recently told by two different people how much they respected how close my siblings and I are to each other and to my mom. It made me feel so good, especially because I know not everyone’s so lucky.

💛 It’s not cold or snowing so I don’t have to defrost my car or shovel snow. I mean, not that I did it before because Speed did it, but … I’m grateful for him.

💛 You know those cute little ladders with three steps? I’m so happy they exist or else I wouldn’t be able to reach the top shelves of my kitchen. Or the top of the fridge. Or … anything.

Community Spotlight 🏡

⤞ Substack Faves:

✍️ Leave It to Anna. Anna is an American living in London, so of course she travels to cool places, eats well, and has great pics to show it all off! Her midweek musings are really fun and her Friday Field Trips scratch my travel itch. Check out this one and this one.

✍️ Happy on Purpose by Amelia Wilson. I just love all of it. This is the newsletter I wanted Sandrapop to be a year ago, only Amelia has done it waaaay better! So many good recommendations and insights. If you're a midlifer looking for more you, you’ll want to check it out. Start with her most popular post here.

✍️ Breathing Space by Camille Styles. I've been following Camille for a few years on her blog and Instagram. Now she's on Substack, which is amazing. I Just love her vibe and how accessible she makes intentional living look, and would love to have a business like hers one day. You can check out her vision board series and other essays like this one on her homepage.

⤞ Substack to Watch:

👀 Burnout to Balance by Casey O’Connell. Casey is a freelance writer, yoga and mindfulness teacher, and professional organizer but ALSO a fellow lover of Spain, organized spaces & lattes in cute coffee shops (we can definitely hang). Her “2025 Roundup: 10 Best Things I Did This Year” is where I recommend you start so you can fall in love with her energy too.

If you made it this far…

Consider yourself hugged and caffeinated from sunny Florida. Thanks for letting me catch you up on life and what I'm building this year. Next week, I'm sharing the full vision exercise and my 2026 dream day—it's going to be good!

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Before you go…

Tap the heart ♥️ if you’re into it, drop a comment if you’ve got thoughts, and if you’re feeling extra generous, hit that little recycle symbol to Restack. That’s how this post finds fresh eyes and new friends.

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Hello, fabulous!

Welcome to my not-so-secret stash of tools, apps, and digital lifesavers that help me plan, write, and keep my Substack running without losing my mind (most days). These are the things I actually use and what work for me as a one-woman, midlife content machine with a soft spot for color-coded everything.

Whether you’re just getting started or fine-tuning your own flow, feel free to poke around and steal whatever works. You’ll find this post tucked under “Writer Kit” in the Sandrapop navigation bar so it’s easy to come back to. I’ll keep it updated as I go, so pop in anytime you need a boost or a little inspo. Happy writing!

✨ Content Planning & Workflow

Tools that keep me (mostly) organized and my Substack flowing:

• Trello – For editorial planning + brain dumps.

• Agenda – For minimal, beautiful note-taking that syncs with Calendar.

• Passion Planner – When I want to physically write out my life.

• Metricool – Social scheduling + analytics that make me feel legit.

• James Clear Habit Journal – My favorite structured journal for goals and habits. It’s not back in stock until Feb/March 2026… but worth the wait.

✨ Design, Branding & Visuals

For when I want things to look as good as they sound:

• Canva – For everything from Substack headers to Poshmark graphics.

• Rifle Paper Co. Notebooks – For jotting down colorful ideas the analog way. You can also go to TJ Maxx and score similar ones for less.

• Staedtler Triplus Fineliners (Set of 36) – Because if the pens aren’t cute, I’m not writing. I have the set of 36 and this set of 10 for on the go.

• Pilot G2 Gel Pens – Design Collection – Black ink, gold details, writes like a dream. Pretty pens make me more productive. It’s science.

✨ Focus & Flow Tools

For when I need to stop scrolling and actually write:

• Endel – Ambient sound that makes my brain cooperate. Hit up Youtube.

• ExpressVPN – For safe, fast browsing (especially when I’m abroad).

• Bose Headphones 700 – For blocking out noise, chaos, and anything interrupting my flow. (Military get a special discount through ID.me)

• Lamicall Headphone Stand – Because cute gear deserves a cute home.

• Various books on writing for inspiration.

✨ Tech That Makes Me Feel Powerful

My desk setup is… a whole situation, and I love her:

• 13” MacBook Pro – The mothership. Small, mighty, and basically an extension of my brain at this point.

• Samsung 49” Ultra-Wide Monitor / Odyssey G9 Monitor – For split-screen writing, researching, and pretending I’m in a command center.

• Razer Huntsman V3 Pro Keyboard – The clicky kind that makes me feel productive.

• Razer Basilisk V3 Pro Mouse – Ergonomic and smooth.

• Razer Goliathus Chroma Mousepad – Yes, it lights up. Yes, I need that.

• CalDigit TS4 Thunderbolt 4 Dock – Sleek, powerful, and keeps everything plugged in without turning my desk into spaghetti.

✨ Everyday Gear & Extras

Little luxuries that make the day smoother (and cuter):

• 3-in-1 Charging Station – Keeps my nightstand tidy and my phone alive. Also charges AirPods in the back.

• Rifle Paper Co. Laptop Sleeve – Functional + floral = yes please

In Case You Missed It

If you made it all the way down here, you’re my kind of people: sticky note collectors, pen snobs, digital-daydreamers, and vibe curators. Thanks for peeking behind the curtain of my writer brain. I’ll keep this page updated, so swing back anytime you’re procrastinating creatively. We call that research around here.

Before you go…

If this made you smile, tap that heart ♥️. Got something to say? The comment box is all yours. And if you’re feeling cute and generous, hit that little Restack button so this post can strut into some new inboxes. Sharing is caring, fabulous. ✨

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Hello, fabulous!

It’s officially time for another Coffee Catchup, and OMG so much has changed since our last latte date. We moved continents, became a cozy house of two, and somehow manifested the lifelong dream of living near our parents in a pool home. I still can’t believe it. For the first time in a very long time, everything feels aligned…like my real life is finally catching up with my dream life.

In this issue, you’ll get a peek into our new life and what I’ve been loving: book recs, TV binges, Substacks, all the things. So grab your coffee, settle in, and let’s catch up! ☕🌴

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

Coffee Moment ☕📸

Life Lately 🌟

Life is AMAZING. Like, “wait, is this really our life?” amazing. We moved from Germany to Florida in July, so here’s the full tea on how we got from Hawai‘i → Germany → Palm Beach County.

Back in 2020, our little family of three took a last minute leap of faith and moved to Germany from Hawai’i after living in the islands for 10 fantastic years. I know, I know… who leaves Hawai’i willingly?! But hear me out…we had several extremely convincing reasons to swap beaches for lederhosen:

• Speed (my husband) landed a too-good-to-pass-up military opportunity right when I was retiring from the Air Force.

• Max (my son) is an insanely talented soccer player and Germany has one of the best youth development systems in the world.

• We’d always dreamed of living in Europe, but after two decades of service, we somehow never got stationed there.

• And financially, the move put us in the rare position where I didn’t have to work unless I wanted to since overseas civilian jobs are notoriously impossible to snag (zero complaints from me).

It was honestly the PERFECT scenario: we got our European chapter, Max got world-class football development, and I got to lean all the way into my “European Housewives” era. And it was everything we’d hoped it’d be.

But after graduating high school and playing one more season in Germany, Max got injured, which slammed the brakes on his path to Bundesliga. So he did what any determined, future-pro would do: he pivoted. Set his sights on D1 college soccer in the U.S., landed in California, and kept chasing his dream like the resilient king he is.

Once his next chapter was locked in, Speed and I like, “Sooo… what do we do now that our only child is thousands of miles away and we have no minors to supervise?” For the first time in 15 years, we had no one to drive to soccer practice. What were we going to do with all this free time!?

The answer came instantly: move back to Florida and plant ourselves right in the middle of our huge, loud, beautiful families. I’m the oldest of four; Speed is the oldest of six. Family ties run deep with us. Being closer to our lifelong friends, scattered across the states, was also a huge plus. And finally, as much as I live for jetting around Europe, the US does have some pretty dope destinations sitting on our bucket list too.

So we decided to put down roots in Palm Beach County, where I grew up, and bought a house in July. We traded our 5 bed/3 bath German house for the cutest little 3 bed/2 bath with a backyard that feels like a permanent vacation - pool, palm trees, the full Florida starter pack. We wanted a home made for laughing and gathering that feels equal parts cozy and low-key resort, and but mostly I didn’t want to spend all my free time cleaning, know what I mean?

We also decided to take a break from the grind. With some creative finances (and an ungodly number of spreadsheets), we bought ourselves a little breathing room to figure out our next moves without having to work for The Man for a while. For now, life looks a lot like:

• Speed getting braids (he looks so hot I call him my boyfriend) and pursuing a Masters degree at a local college

• Me launching a Poshmark shop and getting back into the Sandrapop groove

• Pool days, house projects, and slowly unpacking the last six years of our lives

We pinch ourselves every single day. It genuinely feels surreal, like we cheated the matrix, to finally live in a way that aligns with who we are, what we value, and the people we adore… with actual time freedom to enjoy it instead of fantasizing about it in between Zoom meetings.

In a nutshell, after 28 years of military service and living overseas…we finally made it home.

AND WE LOVE IT. 💖

Snapshots 📸

We spent the last bit of July and all of August in the dreamiest Lafayette, CA vacation rental “getting Max settled in”, and I’m still not over it. Our hosts, John & Ying, were absolute angels for welcoming not just us, but our two cute fur balls who love to bark at everything. The best part was the view! We woke up to this gorgeousness for 37 days straight. Here’s the AirBnB link with all the pretty photos in case you need a place to stay in the Walnut Creek, CA area.

During October, we spent our 22nd anniversary in St. Augustine, FL, learning all about how Henry Flagler became the kind of rich I will personally never be. 🤣 The town is gorgeous, we stumbled into one of the best meals of our entire lives, went on a purposely low-risk ghost tour, found some adorable local boutiques, and just soaked up being together. We absolutely fell in love with this place…should I do a full St. Augustine post with photos, recs, and all the little gems we found? Let me know!

We’ve had an entire critter parade in our yard since we moved in…raccoon, possum, and one extremely confident iguana who has made himself very known. We even bought an iguana trap and it’s the only animal that refuses to get caught, which feels personal. At this point, I’ve accepted that unsolicited wildlife is just part of Florida life. Sigh.

My sister hosted Friendsmas, my mom claimed all the birthdays and Thanksgiving, so Speed and I took Halloween duty. We handed out candy and jello shots, which instantly made us the new neighborhood favorites. It was my sister’s genius idea, but we happily took all the credit. By unanimous decision, we decided it our new yearly tradition because avoiding a neighborhood revolt feels…wise.

We went to the Van Gogh Immersive Experience in Tampa for my sister-in-law’s birthday, and it was so much cooler than I expected. I had no idea he created that much art, was colorblind, and low-key obsessed with Japanese painting styles. We did a 10-minute virtual reality add-on at the end, which was definitely the highlight. The AI recreations of me as a Van Gogh painting, however? Absolutely not.

I opened a Poshmark shop to resell my old clothes then quickly realized it’s way more time-consuming, and a lot harder, than it looks. I went down a full Reddit rabbit hole debating whether to buy a dress form. Half the internet swears clothes look better on one, the other half thinks they’re creepy as hell. Naturally, I ordered one off eBay and named her Maile the Mannequin (yes, she’s technically a dress form, but what rhymes with that?!). So tell me: genius move or nightmare roommate?

Current Crushes 💘

One of my favorite things lately is discovering that my friend, Marcus, makes these gorgeous candles inspired by wine, beer, and liquor bottles. He hand makes these out of his home in Hawai’i and they are fabulous! Though mostly a hobby, he’s selling a limited release very casually via Facebook, so if you want to get in touch with him, let me know. They do make great Christmas presents!

We love our home. LOVE it. She’s a needy little biatch, but we are fully obsessed. So far we’ve redone the floors, windows, irrigation, paint, doors, and even fixed a pool leak…and there’s still more on the to-do list. But honestly, none of that really matters, because she’s already hosted friends from Singapore and Hawai‘i plus family on both sides like a champ. We’re just so happy here. Let me know if you want a house tour once she’s all done.

On My Bookshelf 📚

⤞ Currently reading:

• If you like moody: I finally caving to BookTok peer pressure and started Gothikana by RuNyx. So far, it’s worth it. Totally giving moody, foggy-cliffside boarding school with “do I trust you or do I run from you?” energy, and that’s exactly the dark academia brain candy I’m in the mood for right now.

• If you like like money: The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel sat on my TBR for years, so I finally grabbed it at Barnes & Noble and, wow, it’s packed with so many gems! My biggest takeaway so far is that most things WILL go wrong and only a tiny handful of decisions do all the heavy lifting. So far, so good.

⤞ Finished reading:

• If you like heartwarming stories: Honestly, Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt was better than I expected. I actually finished this book earlier in the year, but it’s too good not to mention. It’s a story about second chances told through the inner dialogue of a very opinionated octopus. I loved it (the octopus and the book).

• If you like cliffhangers: Pick up Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros. I have, in fact, survived this book… barely. Xaden did what he had to do, but damn, I wish he hadn’t. IYKYK. I picked it up fully prepared for emotional damage and it absolutely delivered. Two more books to go in the series… CANNOT WAIT.

Tunes on Repeat 🎶

We are probably all listening to Christmas music this month - fair - but I’m still indulging my obsession with the K-Pop Demon Hunters album. Here’s the playlist I’ve had on repeat. I finally learned all the words, so of course now I’m performing solo concerts in my car at the top of my lungs (Max was not a fan). “Golden”, “Free”, and “What It Sounds Like” are my faves. Did you watch the movie? What did you think?

TV Binge Report 🍿

• Christmas movies… tis the season and every year I play them nonstop. My favorite so far has been “A Merry Little X-Mas” with Alicia Silverstone. Melissa Joan Hart of “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” plays her BFF and Pierson Fode, an up-and-coming hottie of “Paris in Texas” fame, is in this too (you’ll see why his character is my fave 😍). What’s one Christmas movie you’ll rewatch every single year, no questions asked?

• We’ve fallen hard for “Stranger Things”. I know, I know - we’re embarrassingly late to the party. But the boys insisted it was SO GOOD over Thanksgiving, and now we’ve been binge-watching like it’s our second job. Just started Season 4 and I need answers about the Russian doll immediately. But also…no spoilers!

• Um… did anyone else watch “The Age of Disclosure”? Because the government basically confirmed aliens exist, multiple species are here, and we have their tech… and the entire world just shrugged?? They said it… ALIENS. OUT LOUD. ON CAMERA. And everyone is acting like this is a normal Tuesday. Hello?? Someone scream with me???

Gratitude Corner 🌺

Max is thriving. With a new car and adult independence, Max is out there living his best life! Even with limited minutes this season while recovering from his back injury, he came home for Thanksgiving in impressively great shape. He’s got a NIL shop where people can buy his jersey and a few other goodies (he gets a portion of every sale), so he’s been making some nice pocket change. It’s been pretty incredible seeing people who knew him at five years old in oversized shin guards still cheering him on as he chases his dream of going pro. If you’d like to follow his journey, check out his Instagram.

Mornings with my man. Last week, we started a new morning routine based off of Ben Greenfield’s Strike-Stroll-Shiver technique to burn fat. We drank yummy coffee, took a long walk, then jumped into our cold ass pool. Which was all followed by the most glorious breakfast of steak, eggs and fruit THAT HE MADE. Did I burn fat? Who knows?? But I can definitely get used to this time with Speed - it was fun, informative and gave us a million new things to talk about. Grateful that after 28 years, we still find new things to try, new things to chat about, and new ways to make each other laugh.

Instacart and grocery delivery. I’ve been in the US since July and I’ve yet to do a full grocery shopping trip in person. Yes, we do pop in for snacks and emergency refills, but now I do our regular grocery trips online via Instacart and it is GLORIOUS, friends. I cannot recommend it enough. It saves me so much time because I can just add things I’ve purchased before, no more impulse buys, and I can comparison shop. In this economy, every penny saved is worth it. Use this referral link for $10 off in case you want to try it out.

Community Spotlight 🏡

⤞ Substack Faves:

• I’ve been obsessed with the photography on ’s Mexico Soul substack. She writes about Mexico, the Maya and the Yucatán but I can’t stop hearting her Notes - they’re gorgeous, colorful, and very educational.

• Ashley Alt from is hilariously fun! In her latest post, she got me at “Because Frosty The Snow B*tch is coming for us” and “And I’m not getting up at 5 am. Ever.” If you like Sandrapop, you’ll love Ask Ashley.

• is so creatively cool. The “30+ Thriftmas Gift Ideas for Everyone on Your List” was a great take on gift giving, but the unique format of Brittany’s “Lovin’ Lately” series is what got me to hit the subscribe button.

• Lately, I’ve been looking for ways to slow down, so when I came across , I knew I hit gold. It’s like a monthly spa day for your brain - gentle instrumental music and nature visuals that tell your stress to take a hike.

⤞ Substack to Watch:

• My Air Force sister writes Delightfully Disoriented about her wine-drinking, French-learning, empty nest life in small-town France. Even better, she’s hosting a weeklong intimate retreat in southwest France this spring called Clarity Uncorked. If you’ve ever wanted a luxe, authentic experience in Bordeaux with tailored coaching on the side by someone who actually cares, you’ll want to check it out. She’s the real deal.

  Subscribe now

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In Case You Missed It

If you made it this far, consider yourself hugged and caffeinated from sunny Florida. Thanks for letting me spill the tea on our midlife detour and all the things making life feel really, really good right now. It’s like free therapy, I love it.

Before you go…

Tap the heart ♥️ if you’re into it, drop a comment if you’ve got thoughts, and if you’re feeling extra generous, hit that little recycle symbol to Restack. That’s how this post finds fresh eyes and new friends.

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Hi, fabulous!

It’s Sandra, reporting live from my Florida kitchen table where I currently have five tabs open, three half-written lists, two iced coffees, and exactly zero actual Christmas shopping done…BUT I do have the secret to becoming the most legendary gift-giver in your family.

Here’s the truth:

Some people are natural-born gift whisperers. They just know.

The rest of us are sweating, panicking, whispering, “What if they hate it and secretly resent me forever?”

We all want to give the perfect gift, which makes it super hard to actually choose one. And to make matters worse, everyone is sick of those mile-long gift guides that scream “45 things nobody actually wants.”

So instead of throwing another list of stuff at you, I wanted to pull back the curtain on something much more useful:

👉🏽 HOW to choose the perfect gift by focusing on the five feelings people want to have when they receive it.

Because giving the perfect gift is about delivering a moment, a memory…a feeling. And once you understand the feelings behind great gifts, you become unstoppable.

If gift-giving makes you mildly nauseous, emotionally overwhelmed, or catastrophically indecisive… grab your cocoa, because this guide is about to change your whole holiday season.

P.S. Paid subscribers can download the legendary Gift-Giver Checklist on the Printables page!

💝 1. People Want to Feel Seen

(The gift-giving superpower no one talks about)

Last Christmas, my friend Jeannie absolutely obliterated the gift game. She handed me a mug featuring Nicolas Cage. Not just regular Nicolas Cage, but Nicolas Cage in full Hawai‘i mode, rocking a haku (yes, a head lei) with the immortal words: “You are my National Treasure.”

Why was this so perfect?

Because she knows I lived in Hawai‘i for 10 years, I have an unhealthy devotion to Nicolas Cage’s cinematic masterpiece National Treasure, AND we once used his face in a class presentation meme that basically turned us into legends.

When I opened it, I laughed so hard I nearly catapulted my Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino across the office. It was ridiculous. It was specific. It was iconic. And it was me. Jeannie didn’t just give me a mug. She gave me a personality diagnosis in ceramic form.

That’s the magic of being seen. The best gifts don’t scream “expensive.” They lean in like a mischievous elf and whisper: “I pay attention to you.”

Being seen is rare, and it’s where great gifting begins. Pay attention to the tiny clues:

• What do they constantly talk about like it’s their part-time job?

• What do they obsess over on TikTok at 1am?

• What makes them light up like a Hallmark heroine who just bumped into her small-town crush at the Christmas tree farm?

People leave breadcrumbs and your job is to follow them because they’re basically the cheat codes to their happiness. When you turn them into a gift, you’re saying “I see you. I get you. I know what makes your little soul shine.”

And listen: you can have a $20 budget and STILL give a gift that feels luxe if it nails this feeling. People don’t care about the price. They care about precision.

Examples:

✨ Your mom rants about her neck tension every week → massage gift card + heat wrap so she can finally stop using a bag of frozen peas as “medical support”

✨ Your friend has an obsession with iced coffee → the good syrups + fancy ice molds + cute glass for their morning coffee that lasts until 4pm

✨ Your coworker journals nonstop → a pen that writes so smoothly it distracts them from documenting the downfall of the entire department

💝 2. People Want to Feel Cared For

(The self-care gifts ALWAYS win)

Every single one of us is walking around like a sleep-deprived Mombie clutching a half-charged iPhone and pretending we’re fine. We’re juggling work, family, errands, groceries, mental health, emotional baggage, and whatever fresh nonsense the week decides to throw at us.

Naturally, we don’t want a gift that creates more work for us, like build-your-own-candle kits or gadgets that need to be synced, charged, calibrated, and emotionally supported.

Instead, wouldn’t it be amazing if someone else could take the wheel for ONE HOT MINUTE so we can simply breeeeeeeeeeathe?!

Years ago, I gave a friend a gift card to Massage Envy. It was nothing fancy, just enough for a standard, entry-level massage. There were no hot stones, no eucalyptus rituals, no “your aura looks tense” chakra alignments so I worried it might feel too basic.

She was working full-time, managing two kids under ten, running school drop-offs, handling a dog with separation anxiety, and navigating in-laws who believed every weekend was a group event.

Her calendar was packed tighter than a stuffed turkey.

The woman needed a break.

After the holidays and finally using her gift card, she told me that walking into that dark, deliciously quiet treatment room felt like stepping through a portal into a divine parallel universe with no decisions to make or people to please.

Instead, it was one blissful hour on a heated table with a masseuse named Harmony kneading the stress out of her shoulders like she was kneading generational trauma out of sourdough.

Her body unclenched, her soul said, “Bye, Felicia”, and then she melted into a pile of goo. Afterwards, as she sat in her car and ugly cried Kim K style, she realized it was the first time in weeks she’d had a hot minute to herself.

See, my gift wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t expensive. But for her… IT. WAS. GLORIOUS.

It said, in the simplest, clearest way:

“I see how hard you’ve been running… and I want you to rest.”

Comfort is love that shows up as rest, relief, ease, softness, or support. So a gift that gives comfort restores a person’s will to live and becomes truly unforgettable.

Examples:

✨ Car detailing for the busy parent whose minivan is now a fossilized Goldfish museum

✨ Foot spa for the person who stands all day and lies to everyone about their feet being “totally fine”

✨ Laundry service for the person whose hamper is now considered a roommate

✨ Professional house cleaning for the person who deserves to spend their energy on joy, not scrubbing baseboards

💝 3. People Want to Be Surprised

(Not the “your flight is delayed” kind of surprise)

I honestly have the best friend group EVER. Once upon a time in 2019, I was feeling low and posted something vulnerable on Facebook. A few days later, a package magically showed up from my friend, Kristie, who I hadn’t seen in ages. Inside: a pink water bottle, a sweet book, a cute pin, and a handwritten note that just really made my day.

It wasn’t expensive.

It wasn’t fancy.

But it was so unexpected, so personal and so freaking thoughtful that I cried happy tears into my gingerbread latte.

That’s the power of surprise.

It hits different.

A surprise gift bypasses your “Oh thank you, how lovely!” social script and goes straight into your soul. It transforms the act of giving a gift into a core memory.

The secret to delivering that kind of surprise is simple:

Give something unexpected in a way that is deeply personal.

Choose something that makes them say, “Wait… how’d you know?!” and then smile with their whole heart because they never saw it coming.

Simple. Small. Unexpected. Personal.

That’s the recipe.

Examples:

✨ A binder of 100 CDs from BMG Music they donated to Goodwill but immediately regretted so you tracked it down for them before they were sold

✨ The Precious Moments knickknack their mom accidentally broke in 1996 and promised to replace but didn’t, so you find a replica instead

✨ Their favorite discontinued snack resurrected from the depths of the internet from a sus guy named Gary

💝 4. People Want to Feel Elevated

(Give them the gift of glow)

This is really just a fancy way of saying: give them something that makes them feel like the glowiest, most “main-character-walking-on-a-runway” version of themselves.

Not the overwhelmed version drowning in errands and reheated coffee, but the one who feels calm, confident, stylish, inspired, creative, and deeply aligned.

The one who remembers they are, in fact, actually amazing.

My lucky friend, Jennifer, told me her husband once gifted her a pair of sexy stilettos that she’d admire every time they walked through Nordstrom but would never buy because “where would I even wear those?!”

When she opened the box, she didn’t just see shoes…she saw the version of herself who goes out more, dresses up just because, and struts into a room like she owns the building.

Instant confidence in a box.

Let’s just say, they had a very good night and she finally figured out where to wear them. *high five*

Now THAT’S elevation. A tiny shift that changes the whole vibe.

Because elevation isn’t about luxury.

It’s about emotion.

It’s about identity.

It’s about helping someone step into the life they swear they’re going to start on Monday. Sit a little taller. Breathe a little deeper. Believe a little more in the version of themselves with a functioning morning routine.

Maybe your gift makes their morning feel smoother, or their skin feel softer, or their space feel prettier, or their routine feel easier. Maybe it helps them dream bigger or create more freely.

A great gift says “I see who you’re becoming.”

Upgrade their energy.

Examples:

✨ Josie Maran whipped body butter for the one that wants to feel she owns three vacation homes and a fridge full of face mists

✨ Udemy subscription for the one who wants to learn French, jewelry making, and Python coding all at the same time

✨ Sunset cruise for the one that wants to feel like they’re cruising down the Italian Riviera even though they’re still technically in Tampa

✨ Stilettos (‘nuff said)

💝 5. People Want Connection

(Experiences > things. Always.)

Objects are temporary. They break, get lost, or get donated to Goodwill during one of those “I’m reinventing my life” purges we swear we’re going to do every January.

But shared moments live rent-free in our hearts forever.

They become the stories we retell, the memories we scroll back to, and the tiny emotional Polaroids that shape our relationships.

This is why experience gifts are having a full-blown renaissance. We didn’t suddenly stop liking things (please, I will still happily accept a pair of cute sandals any day of the week).

But deep down, we’re all craving time, presence, laughter, novelty, and a break from our autopilot routines.

We want stories. We want connection. We want those little “omg do you remember when…” moments that glue relationships together.

That’s the magic of experience gifting.

It doesn’t matter if the plan is simple, chaotic, or involves someone forgetting the directions. It’s the memory that becomes the gift.

Connection gifts say, “I want to spend time with you.”

And that, my friend, is priceless.

Examples:

✨ Cooking class where someone immediately burns the garlic…and the pasta…and the sauce

✨ Pottery class where every bowl looks a little special so everyone pretends they’re “abstract”

✨ Weekend road trip fueled with questionable gas station snacks and not enough bug spray

✨ Tickets to a show so iconic you’ll be dissecting it for weeks like you’re on a podcast

✨ The Sandrapop Gifting Formula™

These are the five feelings behind every unforgettable gift. Now that you understand them, it honestly doesn’t matter who you’re shopping for: your super picky mom, your partner that has everything, your impossible coworker, your cousin who likes aliens and UFOs. You can reverse-engineer a perfect gift for literally anyone.

So if you want a foolproof, lifelong, “never panic in Macys again” strategy, aim for any two of these:

💝 Seen

💝 Cared for

💝 Delighted

💝 Elevated

💝 Connection

→ Hit one and your gift is a winner.

→ Hit two and they’ll cry.

→ Hit three and they’ll write about you in their secret journal.

Now go out there and claim your legendary gift-giver throne.

And because I refuse to let you panic-scroll Amazon at 11:47pm, I made a legendary Gift-Giver Checklist for my Popstars and Headliners in the Printables page. Print it, scribble on it, keep it in your bag, and never freeze in the middle of Macy’s again.

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The perfect gift isn’t about impressing or spending a lot of money. It’s about the moment you create and the feeling you deliver for the other person. If you can master this superpower, your gifts will hit EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Comment and tell me the best gift you’ve ever received that hit you right in the feels. I’m nosy and I want to steal your ideas!

Leave a comment

Hi, fabulous!

Hi friends! It’s me - Sandra. Yes, that Sandra. The one who’s been “coming back to Substack soon” since… well, let’s not talk about the timelines. Time is relative, anyway. But guess what? Sandrapop is BACK. And like every dramatic return, I’m bringing stories, confessions, and closet clean-outs with me. Because while I’ve been away from this app for a minute, I’ve been busy doing something terrifying, glamorous, time-consuming, and mildly unhinged:

👉🏽 I started a Poshmark shop.

👉🏽 I survived starting a Poshmark shop.

👉🏽 I am STILL recovering from starting a Poshmark shop.

If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to launch your own Poshmark closet, let me be the first to tell you: the girlies on TikTok LIED. They made it look like you snap a pic, drop a cute caption, and - BOOM - you’re suddenly making passive income while sipping iced coffee and being effortlessly hot. What they don’t capture is the sheer emotional, physical, and spiritual turmoil of trying to photograph a pair of jeans that refuse to behave.

So pull up a chair, pour your cafecito, and let me walk you through the ridiculous,saga of how Sandrapop Shop came to be.

Step 1: The Delulu Phase

When I first decided to start selling things, I thought it would be simple. I imagined myself flouncing through thrift stores like Alexis Rose in a linen two-piece set, finding designer treasures that had somehow been waiting for me, the thrift whisperer.

I had a vision:

• My closet? A chic boutique.

• My photos? Editorial.

• My profits? Immediate.

• My stress level? Nonexistent.

Reality said, “Girl, be serious.”

The first thing I learned was that selling on Poshmark is not just picking up cute things and posting them. It is an Olympic sport. The triathlon of modern womanhood. A full-time relationship with your phone camera and the harsh lighting in your laundry room.

I bought lots of packing tape.

I bought cute pink shipping envelopes.

I bought more hangers than any human should legally own.

I downloaded seventeen apps that all promised “effortless crossposting” to other selling apps.

None of them were effortless.

One of them tried to charge me $49.99…A MONTH.

I almost filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau.

But I persisted! Because I just knew - knew - that I was about to become the JLo of secondhand fashion.

Spoiler: I was not. Not yet.

Step 2: Why Are These Clothes Fighting Me?

Let me set the scene. It’s Day 1 of being a responsible businesswoman. I’ve got my eye-opening espresso on hand. My hair is clipped up in a way that screams “she means business.” My husband is hiding studying, my Pomeranians are supervising, and I have a pile of clothes ready to be listed.

Easy, right?

No. Because clothing, especially thrifted clothing, has the personality of a toddler who skipped a nap.

A shirt that looks AMAZING in person will look like a wrinkled rag on camera.

A dress that should hang elegantly will instead collapse into a shape I can only describe as “tasmanian devil energy.”

Jeans? Jeans will betray you every time.

I tried styling pieces on a hanger…they mocked me.

I tried flat-lays…Lexi the Pom Queen believed everything was for her and tried to sit right on top.

I tried modeling the pieces myself …but remembered I’m a grownass woman with curves, opinions, and absolutely zero desire to wiggle into size 4 shorts for content.

Finally, I tried putting the clothes on AI models… which felt like cheating, so I panicked, deleted everything, then ate a snack to recover emotionally.

Step 3: The Poetry of Retail

Poshmark descriptions are a delicate art. A science. A spiritual practice.

You can’t just write:

“Cute top.”

Absolutely not. You have to become a literary icon.

You have to channel Oprah, Carrie Bradshaw, and whoever writes the captions for Anthropologie catalogs.

You must describe:

• the fabric

• the vibe

• the color

• how this sweater will emotionally transform you

I became dramatic.

I became poetic.

I became unhinged.

I wrote things like:

“This dress said ‘take me to brunch and lie to me.’”

“This blazer is the embodiment of ‘I have my life together,’ even if you don’t.”

“A tunic that whispers ‘I summer in places with lemon trees.’”

And people ate it up. Or at least, they clicked the little heart button. Clicking is basically buying, if you squint and pretend.

Step 4: Sharing. Sharing. And More Sharing.

Listen. If you’ve never sold on Poshmark, let me educate you:

👉🏽 YOU HAVE TO SHARE YOUR LISTINGS.

👉🏽 AND SHARE THEM AGAIN.

👉🏽 AND THEN SHARE THEM A THIRD TIME FOR NO REASON.

Every morning, I wake up and think,

“Wow, what a beautiful day.”

Then Poshmark whispers,

“Share your whole closet or no one will see anything you sell.”

Next thing you know, I’m lying in bed, thumb cramping, sharing 40+ listings before I’ve even had coffee.

It is not glamorous. It is not chic.

It is manual labor.

I have become the steel worker of digital closets.

If carpal tunnel is in my future, let it be known: Poshmark did it.

Step 5: Losing My Mind While Waiting for a Sale

Some days, I sell things immediately.

Other days, a listing sits untouched like it’s in time-out.

And occasionally, someone will like 27 items and buy… absolutely nothing.

Poshmark will notify me:

“✨Susan liked your item! ✨”

And I’m like,

OKAY SUSAN, THEN BUY IT??

I send offers.

I send discounted shipping.

I send more offers.

I bargain like I’m outside a Paris flea market.

Crickets.

I’m convinced some people use Poshmark like Pinterest boards. They’re not shopping. They’re curating their dreams and walking away.

But then - ohhh then - the sale comes.

The dopamine hits so hard I consider going pro.

I run to print my shipping label like I’m accepting an award.

I package the item with stickers, tissue paper, and “thank you” notes like I’m running Chanel.

One time I even included a free gift because I was feeling extra.

At this point, I’m one sale away from needing professional help.

Step 6: If it Spoke to Me Spiritually, I’m Selling It

Look, I love fashion.

But I’m also the type of person who believes objects have feelings.

Which means I will sell ANYTHING I find fascinating, adorable, nostalgic, or too cute to leave behind.

My internal “should I sell this?” checklist looks like this:

• Is it pretty?

• Does it look like someone on Instagram would want it?

• Does it remind me of the beach or Italy?

• Did it chant “buy me now” from the shelf?

If yes, it goes in the cart.

This is how Sandrapop Shop ended up with:

• sweaters in the summer

• sundresses in the fall

• a Coca Cola bottle opener

• a Amy Winehouse journal

• a random selection of yarn (don’t ask)

If it looks cute, sparks joy or looks like it belongs on the Amalfi Coast, I will sell it.

That’s the rule.

Step 7: Accepting That I’m a Full-Time Shop Owner

I didn’t expect this to become a real thing.

I didn’t expect to be sourcing, photographing, listing, packaging, strategizing, branding, and yelling at my phone all in one day.

But here I am.

Running Sandrapop Shop like it’s my third child.

And honestly?

I love it.

It’s chaotic.

It’s ridiculous.

It’s very “I needed a hobby but accidentally started a whole business.”

Which is the most Sandrapop move of all time.

So Here I Am - Back on Substack, Ready to Overshare Again

If you’re still reading this, bless you.

You deserve a pastelito and a forehead kiss.

I’ve missed writing.

I’ve missed YOU.

I’ve missed this little corner of the internet where I get to be my full colorful self.

I’m back, and I’m bringing stories - about life, womanhood, Florida, fashion, and whatever speaks to me spiritually.

And yes, of course…

👉🏽 I’m plugging my Poshmark: Sandrapop Shop

I sell clothes, vibes, coastal energy, and anything else I think is interesting, beautiful, or has that little spark.

Come hang out. Come shop. Come window-shop. Come “like” things and stress me out.

I’m so happy to be back.

Let the fun begin. 💕

You can reinvent yourself at any age, any season, and for absolutely any reason. Sometimes the glow-up is planned… and sometimes it’s because you bought a sundress and suddenly became the CEO of Selling Cute Stuff Online, LLC. Life isn’t linear, and neither are our passions. They twist, turn, and sometimes shove us into unexpected new chapters. The trick is saying yes to the version of you that feels exciting right now, not the one you think you’re “supposed” to be. Reinvention isn’t a crisis. It’s curiosity dressed up as courage.

What’s something you’ve been low-key interested in but haven’t tried yet? Spill it.

Leave a comment

Hello, fabulous!

Welcome to the ultimate breakdown of my Substack Summer—because let’s be real, this summer was all about soaking up words like SPF on a beach day. From bingeing Substack newsletters to getting lost in some seriously scroll-worthy content, I was on a mission to fill my brain with all the juicy reads, hot takes, and sassy stories the internet had to offer. Grab your favorite drink, get cozy, and let’s dive into the literary buffet that was my summer!

☕ Afternoon Reads: Turns out, I’m most productive (or distracted?) in the afternoons, devouring pages like it’s my job.

💌 Substack Addiction Alert: I hit subscribe on a whopping 18 new Substacks. Clearly, my inbox is thriving, and so is my curiosity.

🎧 Podcasting Mini-Sesh: Managed to squeeze in a solid 32 minutes of podcasts—quick but impactful, like a shot of espresso for the brain.

📽️ Video Binge: I consumed a casual 452 minutes of video content (not all cat videos, I swear).

❤️ The Liker: Gave 119 posts my precious heart, because, well, spreading the love is a full-time gig.

💬 Comment Queen: Left a record-breaking 196 comments on posts—what can I say? I have opinions, people!

📜 Scroll-a-thon: Scrolled through 168 meters of Notes, which is basically the digital equivalent of running a marathon (or so I tell myself).

🕵️ Post Hunter: Discovered 58 fresh posts via Notes—because who needs treasure maps when you have Notes?

Substack Writers at Work membership by

Your all-in-one membership to supercharge your Substack growth, with expert tips to turn your platform into a money-making machine. Sarah is legit and will tell it to you straight.

Top post this summer: How to Make Money on Substack. Period.

The Midlife Beauty Edit by

Beauty, style, and wellness gems for the 40+ crew, from a former Telegraph beauty editor. Think expert reviews and Q&As, tailored just for us. Best product recommendations EVER.

Top post this summer: And just like that ... it's July!

Whole Stories Shortly by

Offbeat, globe-trotting take on life, where every story is a piece of the larger human experience, complete with original photos and narrated by the author. She’s AMAZING.

Top post this summer: The Genius of Bold Beginnings

Positive vibes I love: Kool Health by Jack Livadtis

Challenge I actually enjoyed: Nordic Lens by Patrik L

Place I want to visit: Orkney Post by Han Swierstra

Want to see your own summer highlights? Check out the Substack app and let me know what you’ve been reading—I’m always down for some recs!

Get my Recap

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Let’s Discuss:

How many newsletters did you subscribe to this summer?

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Hello, fabulous!

It’s not every day that a writer reaches a milestone like this—100 subscribers! 🎉 Thank you so much for your support! 🎉 To celebrate, I thought it was the perfect time to have a little fun introducing myself to both new and OG subscribers. Inside, you’ll find a playful author bio, a behind-the-scenes Q&A, and even a short poll to test how well you really know me. I hope you’re ready for a bit of lighthearted entertainment! Enjoy!

P.S. Occasionally, your email provider might play tricks and cut off part of my newsletter. To catch every juicy detail, make sure to read it in your browser or on the app! 🌟

Sandra Serrano’s bestselling work in the field of Chaotic Household Management has not only earned her the occasional grunt of approval from her family but also a once-in-a-lifetime shoutout from her teen on Instagram, dubbing her “World’s Best Soccer Mom”—an title reserved for only the most legendary of matriarchs. Armed with a Bachelor’s in Parenting Studies from the prestigious School of Good Luck and an honorary Master’s in Multitasking, Sandra’s credentials are as vast as the pile of laundry she’s been pretending doesn’t exist.

In her illustrious career as an I-Aspire-To-Stay-At-Home Trophy Wife, Sandra has perfected the arts of selective hearing, strategic pillow theft, and the subtle yet devastatingly powerful side-eye. Her bestselling work includes mastering the delicate dance of marital negotiations, where she deftly balances the mysteriously shrinking budget, the perpetually vanishing remote control, and the never-ending debate of whether to order sushi or pizza. She’s also the reigning champion of “I’m fine”, a competition her husband has yet to realize he’s hopelessly losing.

As a sister—whether by blood, friendship, or the unbreakable bond formed over shared frustrations about which shade of white actually looks different from the others—Sandra’s influence is far-reaching. She’s the trusted confidante for Substack rants, the fashion consultant for when you need a bold red lip that says ‘I’m sexy and I know it,’ and the emergency responder for last-night reminders of your total brilliance. Her sisterhood spans continents, fueled by three-hour Zoom marathons and spontaneous “OMG, did you read ACOTAR yet?” texts, ensuring her circle feels supported and occasionally overwhelmed—whether they asked for it or not.

From orchestrating the delicate balance of family schedules to leading high-stakes mediations over screen time, Sandra’s influence extends far beyond the walls of her home, capturing the hearts of those who have ever screamed into their pillow after asking their child to clean their room for the 8000th time. Her writing, infused with wit and wisdom, offers a modern take on the glorious mess that is family life, making her a household name—literally.

Residing in a top-secret, well-guarded corner of her home (strategically chosen for its strong Wi-Fi signal), Sandra continues to share her ever-growing collection of questionable insights with the world. Whether she’s tackling the existential crisis of what to cook for dinner or delivering a bestselling analysis of girl math to her #besthusbandever, her work remains both prolific and wildly relatable.

Follow Sandra’s internationally acclaimed adventures on Sandrapop, where she magically transforms the mundane into the slightly less mundane with her signature blend of humor, heart, and a sprinkle of “I can’t believe this is my life.” Just don’t be surprised if she takes a quick break to resolve a dramatic debate over whose turn it is to take out the trash—because making the impossible look easy is all in a day’s work… even if it’s really, really not.

👉🏽 If you’re also an expert in Chaotic Household Management, hit the ❤️ at the bottom of this email!

👉🏽 What question do you think should’ve been included in the Q+A? Sandra will feature it, along with a shoutout to your publication, in the next Sandrapop newsletter!

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👉🏽 Which one did you choose? Share it in the comments!

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maximspeedmom1

• Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/sandrapop

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sandrapopsays

• Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/sandrapopsays

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sandrapopsays

👉🏽 Do you want to connect with Sandra on these platforms? Shoot her a quick note telling her you’re a Substack reader and receive a personalized message.

I hope you enjoyed this little bit of cheeky fun—I sure enjoyed writing it! Until next time! ✨

Hello, fabulous!

I’m about to take you back to 1986, third grade, where a tiny, book-loving, math-obsessed version of me crossed paths with one of the most amazing teachers ever—Mrs. Tsakiris. This is the story of how one teacher’s kindness and encouragement changed the entire course of my life. I’m sharing this letter to her, not just to give her the shoutout she absolutely deserves, but also to remind all of us about the power of a great teacher. Get some tissue because this one’s got all the feels!

From: Sandra Serrano
Sent: Tue 3/15/2011 6:45 AM
To: Mrs. Tsakiris
Cc: Me
Subject: Thank you!

Mrs. Tsakiris,

I just recently watched the documentary "Waiting for Superman" because I have a little boy that will be starting kindergarten next year.  A good education is something I always took for granted because I always had a great one - you could say I got on the high track and stayed there. Its not something I thought about deeply until recently, and in doing so, I thought of you. I'm almost 100% sure you were my third grade teacher in 1986-87, and I wanted to let you know how much of an impact you were in my life.

The first time anyone took any interest in me outside of my home was in your class. You convinced my mom, who spoke no English, to let me join the Girl Scout troop you were leading (your daughter was also in Girl Scouts at the time). We were Juniors, and it was so cool to wear that green uniform. You used to give me rides to all the camping trips and Girl Scout activities because my mom wasn't able to, and you made sure I was included in every activity. I remember one night staying at your house before a big trip, and being so amazed by your pool. It was so different than my own home, and it was a huge moment for me because that's when I realized that there was more in life than what I saw in mine.

I remember that class was a gifted class and it was the year I fell in love with reading. You read "Where the Red Fern Grows" to us. It was so sad...I still think about that story and keep meaning to reread it now that I'm an adult. Initially, I only wanted to read for the free pizza coupons they would give the students when we read a certain amount of books. We hardly ever had pizza at home and here they were giving it away! But then I was intrigued by all the stories (especially the Sweet Valley High series!), and was forever after known as the "bookworm" in my family. Today, my Kindle is my best friend and I get excited shopping for books the way my girlfriends get excited shopping for clothes!

I stayed in the gifted program all the way through high school, where I took as many honors and AP classes as I could. At the same time, I worked a full-time job after school at JCPenney for two years. I ended up getting a scholarship to PBCC for free tuition because I was in the top 10% of my graduating class. At one point I was ranked at #7!  Senior year was so overwhelming, though, since I didn't have anyone to help me decide what college to go to or which scholarships to apply to. There was no way my mom could afford to pay for my college education. I figured I'd go to PBCC while I figured it out, but that only lasted two weeks. I wanted to see the world...so I joined the Air Force! I've been in the military ever since as a Chinese, Pashto and Spanish linguist, and am set to retire in about eight years.

I have a great life, Mrs. Tsakiris. I live in Hawaii; I've been married to an amazing man for over seven years (together for over 12!); we have a very smart and adorable 5-year old boy named Max; we have a cute 11-year old pomeranian; we own two homes (one here in Hawaii!!); we have our bachelor's degrees; and, we are financially very comfortable.

You are, hands down, one of the biggest reasons why. You opened my eyes to a different world that I had no access to otherwise (Girl Scouts, museum trips, camping, math competitions, etc). You helped me believe in my intelligence. You cared about me inside ~and~ outside of the classroom.  You instilled in me the desire to want more in my life than what I thought was possible at the time. Because of all those things, I'm an intelligent, independent, and pretty awesome woman (if you can believe my husband!). ;-)

You not only influenced my life, though... indirectly, you're now influencing my sister's as well. She's currently in college studying Criminal Justice and has a full-time job at a lawyer's office. She's a single mom, but she doesn't let that stop her, and she credits me as the biggest influence in her life.  She wants to be like me... but I wouldn't be me if you hadn't been my teacher in third grade.

I will never be able to find the words to thank you enough for taking an interest in me back then. Third grade was when my life changed, even though I didn't understand that until just recently. I'm sorry its taken me so many years to thank you, and I just want you to know that even that you've done what every teacher dreams of doing:  you've ~changed~ lives. You changed the trajectory of mine, and I can't imagine that I'm the only one you've done that for over the years.  You are an amazing teacher and I will always remember you. I pray that Max has at least one teacher like you that influences his life in the same way.

From the bottom of my heart... thank you.

Sincerely,
Sandra Serrano Resto (now Sandra Speed)

From: "Mrs. Tsakiris"
Subject: RE: Thank you!
Date: March 22, 2011 at 8:55:16 PM GMT+1
To: "Sandra Serrano"

Dear Sandra,

Yes, I remember you!  You were the tiny little kid who LOVED math!  In fact, I just recently saw a picture of you go by while I was moving around some boxes in my garage.  Look at you now...you're all grown up with a handsome husband and a beautiful child.  I am glad that everything has worked out so nicely for you.

I am still teaching.  I now teach 5th grade at Crystal Lakes Elementary in Boynton Beach.  The School Board cancelled the SOI class many years ago.  What a shame.  They didn't think it was worth the money.  I would love to send them a copy of your letter just to let them know how terribly wrong they were.

My daughter, Diana, is a single mom.  She and her son, Zyler, live with me.  He is a wonderful boy and I feel honored to be able to be with him every day.  He turned 12 in December and is already taller than me.  He is expected to grow to be 6'4" or more...Diana is 6'2" and his dad is taller than her, so he comes by his height naturally.

I want to thank you for your kind words.  You really made my day.  I shall cherish your letter forever.

Take care.  I'm very proud of all that you have accomplished so far in your live.  Enjoy your beautiful family. Thanks again for thinking of me.

Fondly,
Mrs. Tsakiris

Let’s Discuss:

Who was the teacher that made the biggest impact on your life, and what’s one thing they did that you’ll never forget?

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Hello, fabulous!

I’m spicing up the “Coffee Catchup” series to make it more fun and personal, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! I’ve been inspired by so many incredible Substacks, which I’ll mention as I go so you can check them out too. This month has been a whirlwind with so many exciting things happening.

I hope you have a fantastic Sunday and enjoy catching up with me over coffee! Cheers! ☕🌟

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

Coffee Moment ☕📸

Life Lately 🌟

Our last Slumber Soiree totally whisked us away to Paris, and oh la la, am I ever ready to zip back to the City of Light for another dreamy weekend! TAKE ME BACK!!! This month? Total rollercoaster—Max is two weeks shy of high school graduation, my job situation is changing wildly, and I’ve been navigating some personal heartache (massive thanks for all your virtual hugs and love!). Here’s the scoop on a few other highlights:

• You know how I’m totally in love with yellow right now? The boys got me this Coach Willow Bucket Bag, which they did NOT know was on my wishlist! The universe loves me. Now to ask for yellow shoes…

• Max’s girlfriend, Nya, made me banana bread for Mother’s Day AND wrapped it with this super cute message! It’s my favorite - HER banana bread is my favorite - so she gets to stay. Since you don’t have a Nya, check out these banana bread muffins by instead.

• The French 75 is now a hit in our house. We made it for my last newsletter and, OMG, does it pack a punch! One of my favorite cocktails with champagne EVER. Plus, they look pretty in these super thin wineglasses by Zalto.

• I just got cleared hot to take time off this summer for a sun-soaked visit with my beautiful mom in Florida, and have my fingers crossed for some spontaneous weekend escapes (St. Tropez, anyone?) too! What about you? Any sizzling summer plans on your end?

On My Bookshelf 📚

⤞ Currently reading:

• Moonwalking with Einstein by Joshua Foer: Got this gem from a friend at work. It’s all about the author’s journey to becoming a “mental athlete” and improving his memory. I NEED THIS. So far, it’s absolutely fascinating.

• The Ever Queen by LJ Andrews: Needed a Kindle Unlimited romance to escape the real world, and The Ever King popped up: a sea fae king, a land fae queen, lots of pirates and an epic war between them. Perfect escapism. Love, love, love Erik! The Ever Queen is part two, and I’m hooked.

⤞ Finished reading:

• Atlantis by David Gibbins: If you’re a fan of James Rollins (my fave author), you’ll love this. It’s a thrilling adventure discovering who built Atlantis and where, with a teeny tiny bit of romance thrown in!

• Weyward by Emilia Hart: I stumbled upon an interview with the author on Substack and totally fell for it, so I picked this gem for my book club at work. It’s a breezy read about three women, rocking a special family power, spanning three generations. Perfect summer read.

Tunes on Repeat 🎶

Gratitude Corner 🌺

This section is totally inspired by one of my favorite substacks, by . It’s so heartfelt and makes me stop and consider what I’m truly grateful for every time I read her newsletter. So this is me, stopping to smell the roses and send a big, sparkly thank you to the Universe for this wonderful life. ✨

• My son is happy and healthy. He’s graduating high school in just two weeks and knows exactly what he wants out of life - to be a professional soccer player. He’s worked his cleats off to chase that dream. Living and playing in Germany since 2019, he’s inching closer every day to making it all come true. So insanely proud of him!

• We have military retirements. With real estate prices in the US skyrocketing and inflation messing with everything from groceries to used cars, I’m counting our lucky stars for our pensions. Not everyone is so fortunate and I freaking know it.

• I live in the age of the internet. Social media can be a total love-hate thing and endless emails are a total drag. But living in a world without GPS, FaceTime, or Substack? No thanks! I’ll keep my techy treasures, thank you very much!

Community Spotlight 🏡

⤞ Substack Faves:

• I love food. Like, REALLY love food. If you are like me, do yourself a favor and check out and . You’ll thank me!

• For fashion, I’m loving by . Her takes on fashion and recommendations for products are simple, uncomplicated and totally fabulous.

• from has a hot take on Ozempic. Love that she isn’t afraid to go against the grain and will tell you what she really thinks.

⤞ Substack to Watch:

• by genius. He’s building a library just for the little guys on Substacks, focusing on those with 500 or fewer subscribers. Hilariously, SmallStack itself has already zoomed past that subscriber count! Can’t wait to see what happens next!

Pajama Poll Results 🛌

Well, the people have spoken, and it’s official: PJs have absolutely crushed slips in the sleepwear showdown! 🛌🥊 Looks like comfort kicked chic to the curb this round. So, grab your fluffiest, baggiest pajamas—because when it comes to catching Z’s, it’s all about that cozy, “wrapped in a cloud” life.

#MombieLattes ☕️

I saw a few people do this and thought it was so cute! At work we buy each other coffee all the time, so why not here? It always makes my day!

P.S. Don’t miss out on free Starbucks coffee on me! I loaded a $50 gift card that can fund your caffeine fix until it runs out. Literally NO ONE has used it yet. Get the QR code at the end of this post.

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Let’s Discuss:

What’s your favorite section of this “Coffee Catchup” newsletter format?