Hello, fabulous!

In this edition of Dreamscapes, April arrived wearing purple.

Wisteria climbing a white wall. The sky right before the clouds decide to be dramatic. A galaxy more vast than you can ever imagine.

This is the purple that’s been here forever — ancient and ethereal, regal and earthy, blooming right now in someone’s garden and somehow also in the cosmos. It makes everything look like a fairy tale without even trying.

And this month, it was my inspiration. Lavender and plum and violet and every purple in between. Grab your drink, settle in, and let it whisk you away for a while. 💜

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~ Romantic Vibes ~

Purple is my romance color. It makes me think of a waltz AND the Midnight Court. The softness of a spring sky and the mystery of the universe. A royal princess and a relaxing spa day. Somehow all of those things live in the same color and feel like a fairy tale.

~ Wisteria Hour ~

Layered, luminous, a little haunting in the best way. The kind of music that makes you feel like you’re the main star in a heartbreaking love story. Find a window with some light coming through, press play, and enjoy.

~ Worth Your Three Minutes ~

Astronaut Christina Koch gave a speech about how Earth is a crew — and it’s one of the best things I’ve EVER heard. The perspective shift alone is worth three minutes of your life. Also, she’s wearing purple, so it was basically made for this edition.

~ Dreamy Violet ~

I took this video at the Lemongarden Hotel in Sutivan, Croatia on the island of Brač. We were just passing through when this wall of purple bougainvillea literally took my breath away. My dream is to stay here for a week someday in the future. What would you do to have a wall like this in your home?

~ Room Goals ~

Purple at home feels different than purple anywhere else. It's not a statement — it's a total mood. A plum bedroom that makes you want to sleep forever. A lavender accent wall that makes the whole room feel like a secret. It’s decadent, luxurious and, dare I say, a little sexy. Get more inspo on my “All About Purple” Pinterest board here.

~ Royal Nails ~

Love these purple nail colors! My nail tech is about to get a very specific set of instructions this month. I'm thinking the celestial one in the middle. Maybe the galaxy ombre. Honestly, all six. Can I get all six? Which one’s your favorite?

~ Fashion Royalty ~

It’s said purple is hard to pull off, but this proof that it flatters every skin tone, every body, every vibe. From power suits to floral matching sets and everything in between, consider this your Spring closet inspo on how to wear any shade, courtesy of women who clearly know things.

~ Word of the Month ~

~ More purple inspo ~

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10

20 best books with purple covers

The most expensive purple gem in the world

A digital gallery of purple art

Are you a porphyrophile or do you need convincing?

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Your April Popstar Kit is here and it's gorgeously purple — because being a Popstar should look this good.

• 🔍 The Purple Pursuit — a fun little scavenger hunt with 12 things to find

• 📚 A Reading Tracker — because your purple book era starts now

• 📱 Two iPhone Wallpapers — because your lock screen deserves to be beautiful

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Not a paid subscriber yet? For $0.17 a day, you get a monthly kit like this one, plus the full Printables Library, and a ton of other perks. Seventeen cents. A day. I'm basically paying you.

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Every time I put this newsletter together thinking it's just a mood board, and every month it turns into something that feels like a delicious little universe. Purple did not disappoint.

Thank you for reading, for sharing, and for being the kind of human who stops for wisteria. This one was made with so much love. I hope it gives you a little beauty to sit with, a song to play too loud, and maybe a new word to drop at your next dinner party.

And don’t forget to send this to the porphyrophile in your life and watch your friendship level up instantly. You're welcome in advance. 💜

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Hello, fabulous!

You asked for it. Literally.

You left comments, you sent DMs, you texted the word choreplay to your best friend at 11pm on a Tuesday and then reported back. The Sandrapop Glossary has officially become a thing, and I am absolute giddy about the buzznami I’ve created.

Here’s what happened after Part 1 went out: I got a message from a friend who used “mantrum” in an argument with her husband and he didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended and she said the confusion bought her enough time to win. YESSSS! That’s the power of language, friends.

The infamous Part 1:

So here are 22 new words, but this time with a pop quiz around the question, “Okay but which one am I?” Twenty-two questions, one result. Your result includes your word, your definition, and a small amount of information about yourself you may or may not be ready for. The quiz is after the glossary.

Grab your coffee. Be honest. No one is watching.

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1. 😴 Carcolepsy (n.) — The immediate, involuntary loss of consciousness that occurs the moment you become a passenger in a moving vehicle. You were mid-sentence. You were asleep.

2. 🛌 Naptitude (n.) — The rare and specific talent for falling asleep anywhere, in any position, within ninety seconds. An Olympic sport in most cultures. A gift in all of them.

3. 😬 Sarcastrophe (n.) — When your sarcasm misfires so badly that the person actually believes you were being sincere. You said “wow, great idea.” They thanked you. It’s done now.

4. 💬 Pretextual (adj.) — Describing any text message sent for reasons that have nothing to do with what the text says. “Did you eat?” means “I miss you.” We know.

5. 💻 Fauxcused (adj.) — The state of appearing to be productively engaged while actually doing absolutely nothing. Laptop open. Eyes forward. Brain elsewhere.

6. ☕ Sipnosis (n.) — The trance-like state of holding a warm drink and staring into the middle distance. You’re not thinking. You’re not not thinking. You simply are.

7. ✨ Glamnesia (n.) — The complete inability to remember what you look like on your worst days once you’ve had one really good one. You look amazing. You forget this is not always the case.

8. 📺 Resentertainment (n.) — Content you hate-watch with complete devotion. You have complained about this show to multiple people. You have seen every episode twice.

9. 💄 Glossiphany (n.) — The spiritual moment of finding the perfect lip color. Something shifts. You are changed. The gloss knows.

10. 📋 Fauxductivity (n.) — A full day of rearranging, reorganizing, and optimizing your workspace with zero actual work produced. The desk looks incredible. You did nothing.

11. 🙄 Snobnoxious (adj.) — When your taste has gotten so specific that you can no longer enjoy something everyone else loves and a small part of you hates yourself for it. The oat milk did this.

12. 🪞 Glamboozled (v.) — To be completely fooled by your own reflection in good lighting. You looked incredible in that dressing room. The overhead lighting at home had a different opinion.

13. 📖 Novelanche (n.) — The moment a book you were casually reading buries you completely and you are now its hostage until 3am. You had plans. The author did not care about your plans.

14. 👗 Outfitigation (n.) — The internal legal proceeding you hold against yourself for buying something you knew you didn’t need. The verdict is always guilty. The sentence is wearing it anyway.

15. 🍫 Snacktuary (n.) — The specific drawer, cabinet, or corner of the pantry that is yours alone. Everyone in the house knows. No one touches it. This is sacred space.

16. 🧴 Beauternity (n.) — The amount of time you’ve been “about to” start a new skincare routine. Months. Possibly years. The products are lined up. You are not ready.

17. 🕯️ Scentamental (adj.) — When a smell hits you so hard it transports you to a specific memory, a specific place, a specific version of yourself. You weren’t expecting that. The candle didn’t warn you.

18. 📲 Scrollateral damage (n.) — The things you accidentally buy, agree to, or feel bad about as a direct result of being on your phone too long. Collateral damage of the digital age.

19. ☕ Dejabrew (n.) — The eerie certainty that you’ve already had this exact conversation over coffee before. With this person. In this chair. You have not. Probably.

20. 👜 Purseonality (n.) — The belief, held deeply and without evidence, that a new bag will make you a different, better, more organized person. It will not. You need it anyway.

21. ✈️ Jetiquette (n.) — The unspoken rules of airplane behavior that approximately three people follow. You know them all. You are furious constantly.

22. 🌊 Buzznami (n.) — When something causes a wave of good attention and everyone’s talking about it, but nothing’s actually on fire. Not viral. Not chaos. Just a very satisfying amount of stir. Ride it.

Here’s the quiz. Save it, share it, post it everywhere — the 'gram, Facebook, your family group chat, the neighborhood app, a billboard if you have access to one. Tag me @sandrapoplifestyle. This is important. This is research. Go!

The quiz has spoken. Drop your result in the comments. Now make your best friend take it too.

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Until next time — stay illuminaughty, stay ambitchous, and be honest on the quiz.

We can tell when you weren’t.

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Hello, fabulous!

Today I have something fun for you that you’ll definitely have opinions about, so hear me out.

Lately, I’ve been feeling this massive urge to start reading the classics aka the greatest stories ever told that we still keep reading today. But I also keep asking myself, “WHY are these stories still so good? Why have stood the test of time?”

And what I’ve come up with is that human nature doesn’t change much. Fast forward to today and, although the clothes and technologies have changed, the hilariously tragic human disasters that keep us in a choke hold until 3am are basically the same whether you’re reading them on a page or watching them on a screen.

If these stories had been turned into TV shows instead of books, with the budgets and the casting and the dramatic pauses they deserved, here’s what I think we’d be watching. Sooooo curious to know what you think after you read this! Let’s go!

(Click on each photo to expand on des

Now your turn!

Which one did I get exactly right? Which one are you watching immediately? And what classic did I leave out that deserves its own entry — because I know you have one.

Drop it in the comments! I’m super curious!

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Hello, fabulous!

Nobody warned us that one of the best parts of getting older would be the complete and total liberation from having to justify how we do things. I loooooove it!

I have systems. I have rules. I have opinions about ice and notification badges and what constitutes an acceptable time to still be in pajamas. Do they sound a little crazy? Maybe. But they make perfect sense to me and I have a feeling they might make perfect sense to you too.

Here are 13 habits that are completely, perfectly, unapologetically IDGAF-approved. I hope they make you laugh, make you feel seen, and remind you that you're not so crazy after all. Welcome to the era. 💖

6:47? Absolutely not. 6:50? Let’s go. This isn’t laziness. It’s structure. This is me giving myself a clean entry point into the day instead of stumbling out of bed at some random, meaningless number like 6:43. Who starts things at 6:43? Nobody organized, that’s who. The three minutes I spend waiting for a round number are three minutes of additional horizontal peace and I’m protecting them aggressively.

The number of bags is irrelevant. The number of trips is always one. I have carried what can only be described as a full farmer’s market haul on two arms and three fingers while my keys were in my mouth and I felt GREAT about it. Retracing your steps is a choice and it’s not one I am making today or any day.

Water, obviously. If it’s Pellegrino, even better. But also: anything that can reasonably coexist with ice will be given ice. Juice. Malta. Day old coffee (yes, I said that). But truly, there is nothing more delicious than a super drink infused with tinkling ice cubes frolicking inside my cup between sips. Ahhhh…

If there is nowhere to be, the pajamas stay on. Past noon, into the afternoon, up to dinner time. Basically however long it takes. This is my house and I bought it specifically so I could be comfortable in it, and nothing says “I live here and I love it” like a great set of pajamas at 2pm on a Tuesday. I’m not lazy — I’m home.

Will I scream? Yes. Will I make Speed come deal with it? Absolutely. Will I then instruct him not to kill it because I believe in karma and I don’t know what that bug has going on in its life? Every single time. We have a whole system where I freak out until the bug gets escorted out safely but alive. It MUST stay alive. Speed has accepted this.

Hair curl cream to mousse? Same universe, no wash required. Mousse to face moisturizer? Complete category change, full hand wash, no exceptions. This makes complete sense if you think about it for even thirty seconds and I truly believe everyone should be doing this.

Completed a task that wasn’t in my planner? I go back and write it in anyway just so I can cross it off. Some people find this a little insane. Those people don’t understand the dopamine situation or the importance of an accurate record. My planner is a document of what actually happened, not just what I planned, and crossing things off is a non-negotiable part of the experience. This is productivity AND joy.

I don’t know when this became a full-time job but here we are. Red circles on my apps make me twitchy in a way I can’t fully articulate, so I clear them. Constantly. All of them, all day long, omg there are so many! The emails, the texts, the apps — cleared. A clean screen is a calm mind and a calm mind gets things done. You can have my zero-badge home screen when you pry it from my cold, organized hands. Speed, on the other hand, has thousands. WHAT?!

Doesn’t matter how beautiful it is or how much I love it. If maintaining it requires more than a reasonable amount of effort, it goes back on the shelf and we move on. And I’m lazy efficient, so reasonable does not have a high bar. Life is too short for high-maintenance surfaces. This rule has saved me from several very pretty mistakes and I’ll stand behind it F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

When we bought the house it came with speakers and cameras mounted everywhere, so we hired an electrician to remove them which left holes in the wall. They warned us upfront they couldn't repair drywall, so no knock on them, but the drywall situation is…ongoing. In the meantime, I’ve placed art, trinkets, and various wall décor over every single one of them. Tbh, it actually looks pretty damn good. This is not a problem for me. This is interior design under pressure and I’m thriving.

Our neighbors have never said anything. We have chosen to interpret this as a sign that everything is fine. The TV faces the street. The windows are large. Inevitably, in whatever we’re watching, there will be a scene that makes me very aware of this situation. We pause nothing. We cover nothing. We simply live with the choices we’ve made and trust that our neighbors are either very understanding or very entertained. Possibly both.

This is not negotiable and it is not up for discussion. Open cabinet in the kitchen? I’m getting up. Closet door slightly ajar? Absolutely not. I don’t make the rules about chi — I just enforce them, nightly, before I can close my eyes. Speed knows this. The house knows this. Everything gets closed and then we sleep like civilized people. Try it once and tell me it doesn’t feel better. I’ll wait.

The math does not math and I’m aware of this. I’ll order another round of cocktails without looking at the price but then stand in a shop seriously distressed that a blouse costs $78. Is it cotton? Will it make my stomach look big? Can I return it if I change my mind in 48 hours? Why does it cost the same as my water bill? I don’t have answers, people. I just need the tag to say 100% cotton and the price to feel like 1997 …and then we can talk.

My first sale EVER! Eeek! 😱 From now through April 20, 2026 at midnight, I’m offering the Popstar annual subscription at 50% off — and that price is yours to keep for as long as you stay subscribed. I don’t know if I’ll ever go this low again and I have sooooo many goodies coming your way this year… lock it in!

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So that's my list! Something tells me yours is just as good, just as specific, and just as completely non-negotiable. Tell me one of your IDGAF habits in the comments so I can celebrate them with you too, or restack this on Notes. Ain’t no shame in the quirky game!

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Come find me on Notes

Figuring out exactly how you like things and then refusing to do them any other way is one of life’s greatest joys. Your quirks are not your flaws. They’re your fingerprint.

Revel in it.

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Got your coffee? Good. Pull up a chair, fabulous. I’m writing this from O’ahu and I have lots of feelings.

I need to tell you about the H3.

For those who don’t know, the H3 is a highway on O’ahu that cuts through the Ko’olau Mountains in a way that should be illegal. You’re in a tunnel, and then suddenly you’re not, and the gorgeous green mountains are on every side of you and Kāne’ohe Bay is spread out below like someone knocked over the most perfect jar of turquoise paint and just... left it there. Gorgeous and unapologetic.

Not gonna lie, the first time you see it can leave you a little bit breathless, like you may or may not want to laugh and cry at the same time.

We’ve been gone since 2019 and only visited once in 2023, the year my brother died. So the moment we came over that bridge and I got my first real look at the valley, something in my body that I didn’t know was tight just... let go. And I got that same breathless feeling and perhaps also got a little choked up.

Because…it felt like HOME.

The amazing thing about living somewhere for 10 years is that it becomes a part of you. The lush green mountains. The smell of the salty sea air — that specific, indescribable O'ahu scent that no candle has ever successfully replicated, I don't care what the label says. The very specific comfort of knowing exactly where you are — where every road goes, which spots are worth stopping for, which beaches are yours.

Max grew up here. This is where his best friend Kyan is from, where our military and soccer people are, where the version of our little family of three that ran on sunshine and shave ice and soccer fields and weekend beach days was born.

We didn’t just live here. We became here.

So when we left in 2019, we didn’t just pack boxes and move. We left an entire life behind…and apparently it just sat here waiting. The people, the places, the feeling of it. Still here. Still ours.

What does that mean then??

I think it means…I have TWO homes.

Florida is home in the bones. Where my mom is, where my siblings are, where the pool and the palm trees and the life I spent two decades promising myself finally exists. That’s the home I earned — the one that holds my history and my people and the version of me that finally stopped moving.

And then there’s Hawaiʻi. The place that shaped us as a family of three. The place where Max became Max. The place that still reaches out through the mountains and the bay and says you are ours and we haven’t forgotten.

The home of my heart.

I want to say something to you about this because I think it matters: so many of us spend midlife grieving the places and versions of ourselves we left behind — the life before the move, before the kids grew up, before everything changed. We treat those chapters like losses. Like something we have to get over.

But what if we don’t? What if some of those lives just... wait for us? What if the places that shaped us aren’t gone — they’re just holding our spot?

Most people spend their whole lives looking for one place that feels like that. Somehow, wildly, I got two.

And our Hawaiʻi people — our community — haven’t forgotten us. Six years gone and they've been filling our calendar all week — showing up, reaching out, cheering for Max's dream before he even had the words for it himself. People who knew us then and still want to know us now.

That kind of love, it turns out, does not have an expiration date.

I didn’t know that for sure until I was on H3, the mountains being dramatic on every side of me, Kāne'ohe Bay glittering below like it had been waiting specifically for us to come back and appreciate it properly, trying to catch my breath and soak it all in.

I am home.

Both of us. All three of us. Still.

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I may earn commissions from sales via the Bookshop.org links below, at no extra cost to you. I only share things I’d genuinely press into your hands, and I’m grateful for every click. 💖

Hula by Jasmin Iolani Hakes — Reading this in Hawaiʻi feels almost cliché but do I care? Not even a little. It’s a story about three generations of Hawaiian women in Hilo, their family legacy with hula, and how they fight to protect their culture and their land. It honestly brought me back to Hawai’i before I even got on the plane. A great recommendation by .

The Correspondent by Virginia Evans — I’d been hearing about this book for weeks when I saw it again on ’s list. Since I trust her impeccable biblio tastes, I put it on my TBR immediately. Well, guess what? The universe loves me because yesterday I found it on sale for $12.95 at the local bookstore here and snatched it right up. It’s a story told entirely through letters and emails, which sounds perfect to get lost in.

Landman (Paramount+), His & Hers (Netflix), Pluribus (Apple TV+) — All incredible, all completely different, all a hard 10/10. If you can only pick one, start with Landman — Angela and Ainsley are the best mother-daughter duo on television right now and I will die on this hill.

People You Meet on Vacation (Netflix) — So sweet, so good, exactly what it needed to be. Alex’s dance scene was swoon-worthy and Poppy was so relatable I had to pause and collect myself. Loooooved it.

Saltburn (Amazon) — We watched it based on ’s recommendation, who’s travel Susbtack is awesome, btw. We are somewhat traumatized. We have not fully recovered. I will say no more.

Project Hail Mary (Theaters) — We’d only heard good things so we watched it last night in 4D (super fun!) and it was AH-MA-ZING! Ryan Gosling is incredible in every single role he touches and this was no different. My favorite scene was the "acceptance" scene and I shall say absolutely nothing else about it except that you need to see it immediately and bring tissues just in case.

The new Bruno Mars album “The Romantic” has some Latin roots woven through it and my Puerto Rican soul is THRIVING. Also, did you know he has Puerto Rican heritage and was raised in Hawaiʻi? Which means this album is basically custom made for this exact trip.

Also completely obsessed with Justin Bieber and Rosé’s collaborations — “With You“ and “Love You Too“ are on permanent rotation. I’m almost embarrassed about how many times I’ve played them this week. Almost.

And if you want some actual island flavor, find the band Wavvy and start with “Thyme.” Don’t blame me if you start looking at plane tickets to Hawai’i.

Two recipes I bookmarked this week that I fully intend to make the moment I'm back in my Florida kitchen — which, for the record, has actual pots, counter space, and zero excuse not to cook a real meal. No promises on the timeline. Strong promises on the intention.

✍🏽 Bianca Bosso of Midnight Spaghetti made herb-laminated pappardelle stuffed with ricotta and lemon — pasta so beautiful it looks like it should be framed, not eaten. She sketched it first. She sketched it first. I respect it enormously and also feel deeply shown up. Full recipe here.

✍🏽 Rebecca Blackwell of Let’s Get Lost made a one-pot chicken pasta with tomato cream sauce that is the exact kind of cozy, adaptable, nothing-fancy-required weeknight dinner I live for. Chicken, pasta, velvety tomato cream sauce, all in one pan. Rebecca is also a nomad living on an RV, motorcycle, AND sailboat — she is clearly living her best life and writing about it deliciously. Full recipe here.

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⤞ Substack Faves:

✍🏽 Gabrielle Blair of Same Boat — Gabrielle founded Alt Summit, wrote a NYT bestseller, raised six kids, and somehow also has time to run one of the most genuinely useful Substacks for women who work on the internet. I can barely remember to take my vitamins. If you're building something online and want to feel less alone doing it, this is your people.

✍🏽 Sarah Bush of The Pink Teacup — Sarah is a mixed media artist in Taos, New Mexico who uses her art to do something I deeply respect: resist authoritarianism with creativity and a sense of humor. Case in point — she's currently making "resistance cootie catchers." One is called "Stop the Broligarchy." I mean. She had me at hello. I don't know what I expected from a newsletter called The Pink Teacup but it was not this and I am so glad it wasn't.

✍🏽 Hana Lee Goldin of Card Catalog — Hana has a master's in Library and Information Science and she's using it to teach the rest of us how to think more clearly in the age of AI without making us feel like we accidentally wandered into a PhD seminar. I leave every issue feeling smarter. My family has not noticed. But I have.

⤞ Substack to Watch:

👀 The Homemade Hostess by Chloe Diaz. Chloe makes homemade desserts that look like they belong in a magazine and somehow also finds time to curate beautiful moments from her life for her Notes. She's seven months in. I'm already a little obsessed. Find her before everyone else does so you can say you knew her when.

💛 Airline pilots. Every single one of them. But especially the ones who land the plane so smoothly you forget you were ever terrified, and also my husband who is currently learning to be one — which means one day I may have a personal pilot, which means I can continue to not have a job. This is called manifesting and I refuse to hear otherwise.

💛 Dresses that require zero coordination, cut you nowhere, and make you look like you tried when you absolutely did not. Midlife has stolen many things from me. My patience for complicated outfits is one of them. These dresses are giving it back.

💛 The Hawaiʻi breeze. Yes, it has destroyed my hair. Yes, it is worth it. My internal temperature has been set to “surface of the sun” for approximately three years now and this breeze is the only thing standing between me and complete chaos.

Had my first ever girls-only breakfast with Keira — the most badass young lady I know — at Cafe Kopi in Kailua. The Mac Mocha was so good it should come with a warning label. Hoping this becomes a tradition. Love her to the moon!

This month we have TWO winners because I missed February — congratulations to Louisa Waikiki and Kate Reimann! Your coffee cards are on their way.

Your coffee could be next. Upgrade to Popstar and get in on the monthly raffle — plus a whole lot more. ☕️

If you made it this far, consider yourself hugged and caffeinated from beautiful Hawai’i. Before you go, if you have a place that drops your heart rate the second you arrive, I want to hear about it. Drop it in the comments. Tell me where your heart home is.

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In the meantime, I’ll be over here on a beach somewhere, pretending I don’t have to get on a plane in a few days. See you next time, slightly sun-kissed and very full of shave ice. 💖

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Hello, fabulous! Let me tell you about the time I let go of the clipboard...

Those of you who know me know I am that person when it comes to travel planning. The one with the color-coded Google Doc, the backup reservations, the “just in case” itinerary printed out and also screenshot on my phone. I plan. It’s basically my love language.

So you’d think Valentine’s Day would’ve had me in full spreadsheet mode. But this year, I wasn’t even stressed about it. We’d just gone to Puerto Rico and had Hawai’i on the calendar. The Amalfi Coast was already being whispered about for the fall. I was completely at peace with a nice dinner and a good bottle of wine.

Speed, however, had feelings about it. He really wanted to go away for the weekend. And when someone feels that strongly about something and you don’t, the answer is simple: let them plan it.

I just had one condition: I told him I didn’t want to know any details. I just wanted the glorious bliss that comes with just showing up. He was nervous — he knows I have a certain standard, regardless of budget, because inexpensive does NOT mean cheap — but he was also confident he’d find something that could satisfy both of us.

So I handed him the clipboard, voluntarily with zero conditions, and went about my life.

He really wanted to go somewhere neither of us had been yet and looked at everything — Key West, staying local, a few Caribbean options. And when he found a ferry that went directly to AND from the Bahamas with a package deal at Resorts World Bimini? He was sold!

Readers, I let him cook.

And oh, did he deliver.

But first, a snag…

The afternoon before our trip, Speed told me just enough to pack: we were taking a ferry to Bimini, the Bahamas, and the only requirement was to “bring your swimsuits and your passport.” Which, honestly, is all I needed to hear.

We were both giddy. His mom came through as dog grandma extraordinaire and took the babies. I pulled out every swimsuit I owned because my tan was not going to achieve itself. Passports? Located. Excitement level? Stratospheric.

We were ready. We were packed. We were going to the Bahamas, y’all!

And then, at about 10pm the night before we were supposed to take the ferry from Fort Lauderdale directly to Bimini...

Speed got a cancellation notification.

Did he tell me? No.

I had NO IDEA that while I was happily fantasizing about blue Bahama waters, my #besthusbandever was in full crisis management mode. Sneakily hunting down last-minute flights to Nassau, frantically booking a hotel room in the middle of one of the busiest parts of town, and somehow keeping his face completely normal around me. If you know him, you know this was a FEAT.

Why didn’t he tell me? He didn’t want to get my hopes up in case it didn’t work out. He was protecting the dream while actively rebuilding it from scratch. PAST MIDNIGHT.

This man.

The next morning, we got in the car and left for what I thought was the ferry terminal. The sun was out. The vibes were immaculate. We were heading to the Bahamas and I was already mentally horizontal on a beach somewhere.

I was happy. Speed was happy. The whole car was happy.

We merged onto I-95 heading south toward Fort Lauderdale, music playing, me probably already talking about what I was going to order on the ferry, completely relaxed, completely in my element, completely —

“So... I have to tell you something.”

I looked at him.

“The ferry was cancelled.”

I’m sorry. The ferry was WHAT?!

I will not pretend I handled it with grace. There were at least ten minutes of full Sandra meltdown. The “wait, what do you mean cancelled, what are we doing, where are we going, NASSAU?!” energy was very present and very real. He just let me have it — calm as anything, patiently waiting for me to just breeeeeeathe.

As he calmly explained our new itinerary and patiently answered every rapid fire question with confidence, something clicked. I looked at this man who had spent the last twelve hours fixing everything so I wouldn’t have to feel even one second of panic... and I decided to fully and completely surrender. To just trust him and enjoy the ride. He clearly had it handled.

I’m not gonna lie to you — it was hard. But it was also one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

And then, just like that, we were on a plane. And then we landed. And then we were in the Bahamas… and everything else melted away.

About Bimini

Bimini is not what you expect. It’s small. Like, golf-cart-as-primary-transportation small. And I say that as the highest possible compliment, because there is something deeply, spiritually correct about cruising around a Caribbean island with the wind in your hair and zero traffic to speak of. Speed drove. I sat there looking cute and pointing at things. It was perfect.

Here’s the quick download:

• Population: ~2,300

• Location: ~50 miles east of Miami

• Size: About 7 miles long and 700 feet wide — yes, really

• Made up of: North Bimini, South Bimini, and East Bimini. We stayed in North Bimini.

It’s technically the Bahamas, so yes — you need a valid passport. Don’t let that stop you. The trip from South Florida is 30 min by air, shorter than most people’s commutes.

The vibe is laid back, unhurried and deeply unbothered. It is the physical embodiment of “we’ll get there when we get there” — which, depending on where you are in life, might be exactly what the doctor ordered. It was for me.

Also, I need you to understand something. I have been to Hawaii. Croatia. Mallorca. Puerto Rico. Greece. I live in Florida. I have seen some beautiful water in my day, okay?

Out of all of them, Croatia’s coast still has my whole heart. But Bimini’s beaches are BY FAR the prettiest if you’re looking for that classic, dreamy, sandy-beach-turquoise-water situation. That color is UNREAL.

Standing on the beach staring out at it, I genuinely felt like I was inside a Microsoft screensaver. Standing in it was even more surreal.

And because the island is so tiny, you see that water from both sides as you’re golf-carting down the main road. It just keeps showing up. So gorgeous!

How To Get There

There are four ways to get to Bimini for those of us without a private yacht (for now):

1. Ferry — Balearia ferry from Port Everglades in Fort Lauderdale. Scenic! Potentially cancelled! (Ask me how I know.)

2. Fly direct — American Airlines (AA) from Miami International Airport (MIA). About 30 minutes in the air. This is the move.

3. Seaplane — Tropic Ocean Airways. On my list for next time.

4. Cruise ship — If Bimini is a port stop on your itinerary.

How We Got There

The day we landed in Bimini was the day of the very first inaugural American Airlines direct flight from MIA to Bimini. We had literally just missed it by one day and were actually standing in the Bimini airport when that historic flight landed.

Which means if you’re reading this and planning your trip, that flight exists for you in a way it simply did not exist for us. We’re a little jealous.

Because that flight wasn’t an option when the ferry cancelled, Speed had to book us from MIA to Nassau, and then a second flight from Nassau to Bimini the next morning — which meant a hotel night in Nassau we hadn’t planned for.

Was I mad about it? Uh, no…

Speed chose the British Colonial Nassau and I need you to know it was gorgeous. I forgot I wasn’t supposed to be there. We had dinner at their bar restaurant called Woodes Rogers Tavern right on the property — good food, great live music, and since it sits right on the beach, we ended up taking a little walk and settling into chaise lounges for conversation under the stars. Much needed unplanned magic.

Our taxi driver from the airport to the hotel was so awesome that we asked for his number on the spot and had him pick us up the next morning for our flight out to Bimini.

Nassau was a detour, but a pretty great one. We felt like we were on vacation, which was the most important thing.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

If you’re flying, you’ll land at Bimini Airport in South Bimini. Here’s what you do: exit the terminal, turn left toward the parking lot, and follow the crowd. A van taxi will take you to a water taxi for about $5 per person. The water taxi to North Bimini takes less than 5 minutes and costs $3 per person. From there, a quick taxi ride gets you to your accommodation.

I know what you’re thinking. That’s a lot of steps. It sounds like a whole thing. It is not a whole thing. From exiting the airport to arriving on North Bimini is about 15-20 minutes total and it is surprisingly seamless. Just follow the crowd and trust the process.

Pro tip: The moment you step off the water taxi on North Bimini, someone will try to rent you a golf cart. Smile, decline, and keep walking. You will get a significantly better rate negotiating on your own. I’ll tell you exactly how further down. 😉

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Where We Stayed

We stayed at Resorts World Bimini and genuinely loved it. I’m typically a boutique hotel or private villa kinda girl, but this place won me over completely.

• The room: Spacious, comfortable, great balcony with a fantastic view. My one and only con: the bathroom has a glass door that’s open at the top and bottom, so if you require true privacy for your... moments of solitude... you’ll want to strategize. You’ve been warned.

• The pools: Where the resort really shines. There’s a lagoon pool with a swim-up pool bar, an adults only rooftop pool, and the Beach Club with a family pool, an adults only pool, AND beach access. This alone made it worth it.

• The service: Genuinely wonderful. Warm, above and beyond, and deeply human. One night, Speed slept through dinner so he had to hunt some down at about 9pm. Luckily, The Tides, one of the restaurants was still open and hooked him up. The lady helping him gave him flowers to give me so the meal would feel more special (and he’d stay out of trouble!). I mean. Come on.

• The lobby bar/coffee station: Makes Starbucks drinks on-site. I had the best Caramel Frappuccino I’ve had in years and I’m not even sorry about it. Such a great perk.

Next time: Now that we know the lay of the land, next time we’d love to rent a villa or vacation rental and just buy a day pass to the Beach Club. We also heard great things about Katt’s Kottages right across from Radio Beach — that’s on the list. But I’ll be honest… if Resorts World had another amazing deal, we’d happily pack a bag in two seconds flat.

Pro tip: Book direct with Resorts World for your first trip, especially if you’re planning to take the ferry. When ours cancelled, they handled everything — and offered us two extra nights at $99/night. Our weekend getaway became a 5-night vacation. Speed scored MAJOR points.

Getting Around the Island

Your options: walk, taxi, or golf cart. The resort has a free tram to Fisherman’s Village and the Beach Club. Taxis are roughly $5 per person per ride.

Golf carts are the way to explore, but negotiate. We were immediately quoted $100/day plus fees after getting out of the water taxi from the airport, which we declined. Politely.

The next day we walked to Fisherman’s Village, found a huge golf cart lot full of locals renting them out, and got ours for $60/day, cash. No fees, no fuel charges. The secret? We showed him we only had $60 in our wallet. Negotiation is an art form, friends.

I was a golf cart passenger princess for most of the trip, but one afternoon I drove it back to the resort myself and I felt like an absolute rock star…can’t you tell?!

Pro tip: The island is flat and walkable, but the Beach Club is about a 20-minute walk from the resort in the heat. We did it once and it was fine, but the free tram exists for a reason. Use it, especially mid-day. Your knees will thank you.

The Food Situation (Honest Review)

I’ll be real with you because that’s what we do here: the food was hit or miss. It was my only real con, but a notable one. Here’s the full breakdown so you can eat better than we did.

THE HITS

Beach 360 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ — My absolute favorite and I’m furious we didn’t eat here until our last day. Mahi mahi sandwich, incredible fries, right next to the Beach Club with that ridiculous ocean view. Go here first.

Joe’s Conch Shack ⭐⭐⭐⭐ — A must. Conch ceviche, conch fritters, piña colada in hand. The drinks take forever because you order food and drinks at two separate registers and the bartender is not in a hurry. Island time is real, y’all.

Nate’s Bakery ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ — SO good. Cinnamon bread and guava & cream cheese bread. The guava one was insane and they give you a giant loaf. We shared some with our golf cart guy because he was awesome and we like to reward great customer service, even if it’s just with food.

Beach shacks on Radio Beach — Look, they probably wouldn’t pass a health inspection in Florida. But the food was tasty, the bar was right there, and the vibe was everything. Go with the flow or pack a beach picnic. Either way, you win.

The Tides (hotel) — The Valentine’s four-course special was a letdown, BUT they did hook Speed up one night after he slept the afternoon away and had to hunt down dinner. Not only was the food incredible, but they included flowers for him to give me to get him completely out of trouble. So this one’s a 50/50 and I’d try it again.

THE MISSES

Edith’s Pizza — The taxi driver recommended the fried chicken. Bless his heart. It came smothered in ketchup and tasted like grocery store frozen chicken. The views are gorgeous though, so grab a drink and enjoy those. And maybe order a pizza instead.

Hemingway’s (resort) — Burger came out room temperature. Pasta was fine but forgettable. Service was great, but I couldn’t overcome the meh. If everything else is closed though, it’s eat here or starve. You choose.

My 3 Daughters — Generous portions, but a little bland. Conch fritters were decent, just not Joe’s level. Pretty view from the dining room, though.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

The most important thing I can tell you about food in Bimini is that most restaurants close by 5pm because they cater to the cruise ships. Google will lie to you and say they’re open until 7. They are not. Be in your seat by 4pm or you’re eating at the resort. We learned this the hard way. Now you don’t have to.

Next time: I’d hit up Brennen’s Grill, Stuart Conch Salad Stand, and Bimini Hideaway.

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Things To Do

We were only planning on being in Bimini from Friday to Sunday, but our trip was extended by two nights, which meant we had a lot more time. Had we known this was going to be the case, we’d have planned at least two activities with one being on the water.

The perfect set-up would’ve been: one beach day, one pool day, one boat day, one sightseeing day. As it was, this is what we ended up doing … which was fabulous and I’m not complaining.

• Pools: We lived in them. The resort’s swim-up bar pool, the rooftop pool, and the Beach Club pools were all glorious. But fair warning: on days when cruise ships docked, the Beach Club got super busy. We’d check in, assess the situation, and immediately pivot to a different pool or Radio Beach instead. Check the cruise ship schedule and you’ll be good.

• Dolphin House Museum: Do not skip this. It’s $20/person and completely worth it. The founder, Sir Ashley Saunders, is a published author and local legend who built the entire house himself over decades — covered floor to ceiling in dolphin mosaic art and found objects. He gives you a personal introduction and answers every question. It’s weird and wonderful and totally unique. We saw a few other groups while we were there but the tour flows so you never feel crowded.

• Shipwreck of the Gallant Lady: On the southernmost tip of the island, past the cemetery, down a dirt road — and worth every bump to get there. The Gallant Lady was a Belizean freighter that ran aground during Hurricane Mitch in 1997 and has been rusting dramatically against the rocks ever since. The day we went, the waves crashing against the wreck were cinematic. We stayed to watch the sunset from the jeep and it was spectacular. Add this to your list and bring your camera.

• Fisherman’s Village: Small but charming and a five minute walk from the resort. A few boutiques, an ice cream shop, a restaurant bar, and a little market for snacks. Good for a slow morning wander. You can also walk along the harbor to get some beautiful water views.

• Radio Beach: Bring $40 cash to Radio Beach for two loungers and an umbrella set up right in the sand. Worth every penny, and you’re supporting local families directly.

Next time: Swim with dolphins, food tour, feed the stingrays and sharks, jet skiing, snorkeling, and the Bimini Biological Field Station shark lab tour (1.5 hours — apparently incredible)

Taking the ferry back

We were told to get to the tram that takes you to the ship by 4pm, to check in and be ready to sail at 6pm. So that’s what we did. You’re allowed a carry-on bag and a personal item (that’s what we had), with the option to pay for additional luggage.

During check-in, we upgraded to premium seats which got us a dedicated area, a little snack situation, and enough space to actually move around like humans. And I will say — the ferry has amenities: a food and bar concession, a duty free shop, an outdoor balcony for fresh air, and charging ports.

Here’s a look inside the ferry (not my video but short & sweet).

But I’ll be real with you. As great and easy as it was, I prefer to take a flight next time. Here’s my logic:

The ferry transit takes about 2 hours plus you need to arrive at least 2 hours early for international customs (unless you want to wait in a really long line) and leave 30 minutes on the back end for domestic customs. That’s 4.5 hours total, if there are no delays.

AA’s direct flight is 30 minutes. Even with airport check-in, the math just makes sense to take the AA flight. Cost wise, it’s a wash.

Also consider that there’s only one scheduled ferry a day and they don’t sail daily. So if a ferry cancels, you have to either wait until the next one or book last minute flights. If last minute cancellations are not your thing and budget predictability matters to you (me), just book the flight from the jump and sleep easy. But if your schedule is flexible and you want to walk around a lot, then the ferry is a fun option.

The only way I’m back on the ferry is if there’s a significant discount involved. But am I glad I did it once? Absolutely. And I will do the seaplane eventually.

What To Pack

Not much. You’re going to a tiny island and will probably be rocking your swimsuit the entire time. Less is more here.

• Lightweight, colorful everything — This is not the place for neutrals. Wear the color! Be the postcard! Great brands to try: Spartina 449, Farm Rio, Diarrablu, Cup She (I love their one-piece bathing suits), and Avarra. Pro tip: hit up thrift stores or reseller markets like Poshmark and Ebay to score high-end resort wear at a fraction of the price.

• A good coverup or two — You’ll go from beach to golf cart to lunch to pool without changing…make it cute! This, this and this are beautiful and can double as dresses for lunch or a casual dinner by the water.

• A lightweight beach tote: I use a Rifle Paper Company tote bag that isn’t sold anymore but here are similar options: this, this, and this. Just make sure whatever tote you bring can fold it up so it doesn’t take much room in your luggage.

• Cash — So many things (beach umbrellas, golf cart rentals, local food shacks) are cash only or cash preferred. Bring more than you think you need and you’ll probably need a little more. There’s an ATM in the resort lobby.

• Reef-safe sunscreen — The water is too beautiful to mess with. Protect it.

• Comfortable sandals you can actually walk in — You will be on your feet more than you think. This is not the place for the cute-but-deadly pair. You can’t go wrong with Olukai, Sanuk (my fave sandal brand EVER!), Reef, and Oka-B (which are like Crocs but cuter).

• A light layer for the ferry or plane — The AC situation can be aggressive. Bring your favorite scarf, light blanket or sweater — your choice — but bring something.

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The Final Verdict

8/10. I’d go back in a heartbeat. It’s the perfect 3-4 night trip — enough time for a boat day, a beach club day, a town-and-beach day, and one full day of doing absolutely nothing and feeling zero guilt about it.

But more than the beaches — and those beaches are unreal — what I’m taking home from this trip is something I didn’t expect to need so badly:

The reminder that I don’t always have to be the one holding the plan.

Speed took care of everything. Every detail, every reservation, every midnight pivot when the ferry became a flight. He just... handled it. And I got to be present. Fully, completely, un-spreadsheet-edly present. On a golf cart. In the most impossible blue water. With my person.

There’s a version of me that would have white-knuckled the whole trip — cataloguing every hiccup, mentally rewriting the itinerary, staying one step ahead of the fun instead of actually in it. Although I try not to be, I’ve been that person.

But this time I let go. And it turns out, when you trust the right person with the clipboard... you get Bimini.

That’s the real souvenir. 💖

You just read about a trip where I surrendered the planning to Speed and it somehow became the best Valentine’s Day trip of my life. You know what made the difference? It wasn’t the hotel. It wasn’t the water — although that water was unreal. It was the moment I stopped white-knuckling the plan and actually let myself be there.

Easier said than done. I know. Which is why I made you something.

Leave This At Home is this month’s Popstar Kit — twelve printable permission slips for the woman who plans everything, controls everything, and somehow still can’t fully enjoy anything. Each permission slip covers something we've been quietly denying ourselves — the right to let the plan fall apart, to put the phone down, eat the bread, spend the money, and get in the car without knowing where you’re going.

You print them. You sign them. You mean them.

Some of them are going to make you laugh. Some of them are going to hit you somewhere you weren't expecting. One of them — and I won't tell you which one — might make you cry a little. In the good way. The way that feels like permission you've been waiting a really long time for someone to give you. Consider this me giving it to you.

And then you go live your life like the fabulous woman you already are.

It’s waiting for you in the Printables library. Not a Popstar yet? Become a Popstar and get instant access. Your first permission slip is to stop waiting.

Have you ever let someone else take the wheel — literally or figuratively — and been totally surprised by where you landed? I want to hear everything. Hit reply or leave a comment and tell me all about it! ☀️

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If you love travel, you’ll want to give these a read too.

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Loved this? Share the love! Hit the heart, restack it, or send it to the friend who needs a Bimini in her life — or just a reminder that she doesn’t always have to be the one holding the clipboard. 😉

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It started as innocent scrolling. Then one photo stopped me cold.

It was from Hawai’i, January 2024. And before my brain had even registered what I was looking at, my body already knew. My chest got tight. My eyes went soft.

Some moments live in your bones before they live in your memory.

I’ve been sitting with this one for a few days now, trying to figure out what I wanted to say about it. And what kept coming back to me was this: we talk a lot about the big, dramatic moments of healing — the breakthrough, the pivot, the turning point. But that’s not really how it works, is it?

At least, it’s not how it worked for me.

Here’s what actually happened.

🌸 Before you read this, a small note 🌸

I’m playing with my voice in this one. I love irreverence, and it will always be part of me, but sometimes humor feels too small for what the heart is trying to say. This story asked for something different…something quieter, more honest and open.

I followed where it led.

We're going back to Hawai'i in a week, so I’ve been scrolling through old photos and videos, happily reliving moments from our last trip in 2023. Then this one appeared, and suddenly I wasn't in my living room anymore. I was right back inside a moment my heart remembered before my mind did.

It was January 1st, 2024.

The night before, we’d been on the rooftop of a friend’s house, watching fireworks explode over the Kailua rooftops. The sky was loud and bright, full of color and noise and other people’s wishes. Around us, everyone was celebrating: counting down, kissing, laughing, raising glasses to the promise of a new year.

Inside, I was quietly unraveling.

My brother had died that July, five days after my birthday. So as the clock inched toward midnight, it didn’t feel like I was just saying goodbye to 2023. It felt like I was being asked to step over a threshold into a year he would never see. To leave behind the last year he was alive. To leave him behind.

In those final seconds before midnight, while everyone joyously shouted the countdown, my heart clenched so hard it was difficult to breathe. Grief has a way of making time feel sharp. Every number felt like a small cut.

But…I didn’t cry.

I smiled for photos. I clinked glasses. I did what we learn to do as women—we hold it together so we don’t disturb the moment for everyone else. Who wants to be the one sobbing on a rooftop when the world is busy trying to be hopeful?

So I waited.

I waited until we got back to our little guest house, until the door closed and the noise of the night faded. It was within the privacy of those four walls that I finally let go and cried with my whole heart. Not pretty, not contained. Just honest.

The next morning, still raw and puffy-eyed, I reached for the one person who has known me in every version of myself: my mother. I called her because I needed her voice, the familiar cadence that has always meant “you’re not alone, even in this.”

While I was on the phone with her, Speed did the one thing he knew would help. He went to Kyle—our host, our friend, one of the best humans I know—and asked him to make me coffee. Then he brought it to me, quietly, without fanfare, as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.

It was such a small act.

Just a cup of coffee placed gently in my hands on a morning when my heart felt too heavy to hold anything else. But even now, watching this video, I can feel the weight of their care. The way love sometimes arrives not as grand gestures, but simply as noticing.

Midlife has a way of stripping away the illusion that we’re ever fully in control. We lose people. We lose versions of ourselves. We carry anniversaries in our bodies. And still, somehow, we keep finding ways to stitch ourselves back together, often in the smallest, quietest moments.

That’s what this video is for me.

It’s not just a memory of Hawai‘i, or New Year’s, or fireworks over Kailua. It’s a reminder that we heal slowly, imperfectly, and in community.

We heal when someone makes a phone call easier to bear. When someone tucks a blanket around us without being asked. When the people around us choose to pay attention to what isn’t being said out loud.

This is how we mend ourselves, and maybe, in tiny ways, the world too.

We show up.
We notice.
We soften where we can.

And sometimes, we just bring each other coffee.

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If you made it this far — thank you. This one asked more of me than I expected to give, and I’m glad I gave it anyway.

This is what Sandrapop is, at its core: the glittery stuff AND the real stuff. The champagne AND the puffy eyes. The fabulous AND the human. You don’t have to choose, and neither do I.

Now tell me something, because I really want to know👇🏽

What's your version of "someone brought me coffee"? What's the small act of love that's carried you through a hard moment?

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If this essay moved you, these ones will too — they're all about love in action.

→ Read more Sandrapop here.

If this one landed for you, pass it to someone who needs it today or restack to share with your people. 🌸

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Hello, fabulous!

Okay so. First, I need to tell you about Kyan.

Kyan is my son Max’s best friend. He is young, he is hilarious, and a few months ago while visiting from college during Thanksgiving break, he casually dropped the word dartie into a conversation like it was nothing.

A dartie = a daytime party. I stopped everything. I made him repeat it. Then I immediately put on a note in my phone very creatively titled “word list”.

Then I couldn’t stop. He created a monster.

Every time I came across a word that made me cackle, or nod too hard, or grab someone’s arm and go “WAIT — do you know this one?” — I added it to the list. Words that should be in the dictionary but aren’t. Words that describe experiences we’ve all had but never had the vocabulary for. Words that feel like someone finally named the thing.

You know the thing. The experience you've had a hundred times but could only describe to your bestie with hand gestures and "okay, but you KNOW what I mean, right?" She knew. We all know. We just didn't have the word for it. Until now.

Today, that note has 21 words on it.

And today, my fabulous friends, is the day I get to share them with you. OMG, I’m so excited!!!

Before we get to the story, here are the words in all of their glory. Read them slowly. Savor them. Let them wash over you like a warm bath of linguistic excellence.

You're not ready. Go anyway.👇🏽

1. 📚 Bibliogamy (n.) — A committed, loving, legally-binding-in-spirit union with one’s book collection. Partners are tolerated. The TBR pile is forever.

2. 😤 Mantrum (n.) — The adult male tantrum. Identifiable by heavy sighing, cabinet-closing with just too much force, and the classic “I’m fine” delivered in a tone that means the opposite.

3. 🎭 Testerical (adj.) — The male equivalent of hysterical. Notably, never called that.

4. 💭 Hemotional (adj.) — Describing a man in the rare and delicate state of having emotions. Handle with care. Do not startle.

5. 📅 Manstraul period (n.) — His monthly seven to ten days of inexplicable irritability, food cravings, and sensitivity. We don’t discuss it. We simply accommodate.

6. 😇😈 Illuminaughty (adj.) — Spiritually woke, emotionally evolved, and still fully capable of chaos. The highest form of self-actualization.

7. 💅 Ambitchous (adj.) — Relentlessly goal-oriented with zero intention of shrinking to make anyone comfortable. A compliment. Accept it.

8. 🧹 Choreplay (n.) — The act of doing household tasks voluntarily and without being asked, which functions as the highest form of foreplay known to domestic life.

9. 🍿 Snaccident (n.) — The phenomenon of consuming an entire snack with no conscious memory of beginning. The bag is empty. You are at peace.

10. ☕ Procaffeinating (v.) — The biological inability to initiate any task, thought, or human interaction before coffee has been consumed. Protected under natural law.

11. ✨ Glambush (n.) — The act of arriving somewhere looking so unexpectedly, devastatingly good that people physically pause. You didn’t warn them. That was intentional.

12. 📱 Textpectation (n.) — The specific anxiety of waiting for a reply from someone who has very clearly read your message. We see the read receipt. We see it.

13. 🥂 Resting brunch face (n.) — The natural expression of a person who looks perpetually ready for mimosas, eggs benedict, and a good story. A blessing, not a diagnosis.

14. 🌍 Fomo-sapien (n.) — A member of the human species physically, spiritually, and constitutionally incapable of missing out on anything. Evolution did this.

15. 😏 Snarkasm (n.) — The rare and beautiful fusion of snark and sarcasm. A gift. Not everyone can wield it. You probably can.

16. 👑 Boujeification (n.) — The slow, inevitable, completely natural process of upgrading your taste level over time. You didn’t choose it. It chose you.

17. 👻 Phantomposting (n.) — The act of composing an absolutely brilliant caption, tweet, or story entirely in your head and then never posting it. The internet’s loss. Truly.

18. 💃 Glamxiety (n.) — The specific distress of looking incredible with absolutely nowhere to be. A tragedy of modern life.

19. 🎃 Scrolloween (n.) — The horror of opening your phone for two minutes and emerging, blinking, two hours later with no memory of what happened.

20. ☕ Dramacino (n.) — The performance art of ordering coffee. Extra oat milk. Specific temperature. A full monologue at the counter. We respect it.

21. ✨ Glitterally (adv.) — Used for emphasis when something is simultaneously literal AND fabulous. As in: I am glitterally the most helpful person you know.

Of course, I did what any completely normal person would do and used all 21 words in a single story. This is either literary genius or a cry for help. Possibly both. Please hold your applause.👇🏽

It started, as most great stories do, with procaffeinating.

I was flat on the couch, eyes open, soul not yet present, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing so I could become a functional human being. My husband — bless him — was in the kitchen in the middle of a mantrum because we were out of his specific creamer. Cabinet. Closed. Too hard. Classic.

I said nothing. I have learned, after many years of marriage, that this was simply his manstraul period talking. He was hemotional — dangerously close to having actual feelings about the creamer situation — and the best thing I could do was wait it out like a tropical storm. You don’t argue with weather.

Once the coffee was ready I performed a full dramacino for myself, because if no one else was going to honor this moment, I was. Oat milk. Specific pour. A brief soliloquy to the mug. The audience of one gave myself a standing ovation.

Caffeinated and restored, I opened my phone — rookie mistake — and immediately fell into a scrolloween so deep I lost track of time, space, and three of my core personality traits. When I finally surfaced, blinking and slightly feral, forty-five minutes had passed and I had somehow agreed, via comment section, to attend four separate events this weekend.

Classic fomo-sapien behavior. I regret nothing. I regret everything.

I checked my messages and immediately felt the hot sting of textpectation — my best friend had very clearly read my paragraph-long message about whether we should go to brunch and had responded with absolutely nothing. Not a word. Not an emoji. Not even the courtesy of a lie. I typed and deleted a response seven times, which is peak phantomposting, and ultimately sent a single question mark.

She called me testerical when I brought it up later.

I was glitterally offended.

By noon I had pulled myself together enough to get dressed, which is when the glamxiety hit. I had chosen an outfit — capital O — and had nowhere to go. Nowhere. I looked like I was about to accept an award or board a yacht and my only plan was the grocery store. The boujeification of my personal style had officially outpaced my social calendar.

I went to the grocery store anyway. I wore the outfit. Two people complimented me and one woman asked if I was somebody. I said yes, without elaborating, and walked away. That is ambitchous energy and I will not apologize for it.

When I got home, my husband — now recovered from the mantrum, blessedly — had done the dishes, wiped the counters, AND started a load of laundry without being asked. Completely unprompted. I felt the choreplay in my soul. I looked at him like he had just handed me flowers on a random Tuesday. He had no idea why I was so moved. I didn’t explain. Some things are sacred.

I spent the afternoon in a state of illuminaughty bliss — I did my meditation, I said my affirmations, I set my intentions, and then I ate an entire sleeve of crackers standing over the sink with zero remorse. That was a snaccident and also a spiritual experience. The snarkasm I deployed when my inner critic tried to comment about it was so swift and so precise that she hasn’t spoken since.

By evening I was deep in my bibliogamy, curled up with my current book like it was my person, completely unavailable to the world. My husband tried to tell me something. I heard none of it. The book and I were in a committed relationship and interruptions were not welcome.

He gave me resting brunch face from across the room — that look of someone who is perpetually unbothered and vaguely ready for a good time regardless of circumstance — and I matched it right back.

We sat in comfortable, glitterally golden silence.

And that, my friends, was a completely ordinary Tuesday.

Okay I need to know — which word on this list made you go "WAIT ✋🏽" out loud?

The list doesn't stop here. If you've got a word that should absolutely be on it, put it in the comments. I'm taking notes. Literally. I have a note in my phone. 😂

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And because 21 words just aren’t enough, here is Part 2. Try not to be too impressed.

If this made you snort, cackle, or immediately text someone the word choreplay — first of all, same. Second of all, share this with a friend who deserves it. You know exactly who. The one currently surviving a someone’s manstraul period, deep in a scrolloween spiral, or walking around in a full glambush with nowhere to be.

The world needs these words. Be the one who delivers them.

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Until next time — stay illuminaughty, stay ambitchous, and for the love of everything holy, do not open your phone after 9pm.

You know what happens.

Hello, fabulous!

Alright, friends, let’s gather ‘round for some real talk. You know how you’ve been with your partner for a gazillion years, and you’d do anything for them? Like, you’d grab them a cold beer without being asked, laugh at ALL of their jokes (even the cringe ones), or nod along as they explain their latest obsession while secretly having no idea what the hell they’re talking about? Yeah, we love our partners—but let’s not forget that you deserve just as much love and devotion.

Inspired by a reader question, I’ve whipped up seven totally unscientific, yet borderline genius tips that always work for me. In the examples below, I’ll be using my husband’s pronouns (he/him) but these tips are like stretchy yoga pants—they fit anyone, no matter who your partner is or what pronouns they use. Love is love, and honestly, it’s about time you put some of that same energy back into loving the absolute masterpiece that is YOU. Let’s do this!

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

😍 Tip 1: Speak to Yourself the Way You Speak to Him

Think about how you talk to your person when he's feeling down. You remind him he's awesome, capable, and totally smart — because you know that the way you speak to him shapes the way he sees himself.

So let’s be honest here… you would NEVER let anyone talk to your person the way you sometimes talk to you. The negative mirror moments, the "I'm so bad at this," the 2am replays of every mistake you've ever made EVER. You'd never let anyone say that stuff to him. So why is it okay when it's you talking to you?

Let’s try turning that loving energy toward yourself. Instead of looking in the mirror and thinking, “Ugh, my jeans are tight,” OR telling yourself “I can’t do this”, try saying “I look good AND I've got this!"

Treat yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you give him on those days when he’s convinced he can’t fix the leaky faucet without watching 17 YouTube tutorials. Be your own biggest cheerleader—pom-poms optional but highly encouraged.

When Speed is REALLY not being smart, I lovingly (and jokingly) tell him "You're so pretty" while petting him on the shoulder. The cheeky compliment makes him laugh and lightens the mood. Win-win!

Listen to this: How to talk to the worst parts of yourself

😍 Tip 2: Spoil Yourself Like You Spoil Him

You know how you’ll grab his favorite snack or surprise him with tickets to a band you he loves? For example, I always make sure to grab White Cheddar Cheezits for my #besthusbandever and once I surprised him with VIP tickets to MotoGP (he still talks about it to this day). I love loving on him!

Here’s what’s wild though — you’ll bend over backwards to spoil the people you love and then turn around and talk yourself out of the extra guac. You’ve somehow convinced yourself that splurging on everyone else is generous but splurging on yourself is selfish. And that’s a lie you need to stop telling yourself, like, yesterday.

When’s the last time you spoiled yourself? Treat yourself like the VIP you are! Enjoy that 90 minute massage, order the limited edition ACOTAR series without guilt, and book yourself a girl’s weekend getaway to Paris. Stop saving the good stuff for special occasions or when you “deserve” it. Newsflash: you deserve it right now.

😍 Tip 3: Love Yourself Boldly — No Apologies Required

You know what loving yourself boldly actually looks like in real life? It’s not just bubble baths and face masks, though we are absolutely not canceling those EVER.

It’s taking up space unapologetically, living in alignment with your values even when it’s inconvenient for everyone else, and doing the thing you’ve been talking yourself out of because you were worried about what someone might think.

Take notes from Joanne in “Nobody Wants This”. She walks into a room in a bold fur coat and says exactly what’s on her mind, with a smile and no apologies. I LOVE HER. That’s the energy we’re going for.

And listen, I get it — it's way easier said than done. I had to do it a few times recently and it totally took me out of my comfort zone. A couple of weeks ago, I had to nicely but FIRMLY insist that our termite inspector give us a free treatment outside their warranty period because they missed the damage when we bought our house. Like, excuse me sir, you did not do your job and now my house needs repair, so we're going to need you to fix that, thank you very much.

My first instinct was to let it go. To not make it weird and just deal with it.

But I didn’t. And it worked out! More importantly, I walked away feeling at peace with myself instead of feeling angry or resentful, replaying the conversation over and over again in my head, wishing I could go back and say something different.

Loving yourself boldly is showing up for yourself with the same energy you give to others. You don’t have to wait for the perfect moment to access it. You just have to decide that you’re done making yourself easy to overlook.

Babe, YOU are the leading lady AND the love interest. Own it.

Favorite “main character rom-com vibe”: Nobody Wants This

😍 Tip 4: Forgive Yourself Like You Forgive His Dumb Mistakes

Remember that time he accidentally shrunk your favorite sweater because he thought ALL laundry could be washed on high heat? Sir. WHAT. And yet — a little eye roll, a little dramatic retelling to your girls, and you moved on. Forgiven. Done. We don’t even talk about it anymore. (We talk about it all the time.)

But when YOU mess up? Omg. Court is in session. You are the defendant, the prosecutor, AND the judge — and you are not handing out any suspended sentences!

Somewhere along the way you convinced yourself that being hard on yourself was the same thing as having high standards. Like if you just felt bad enough for long enough, you’d magically do better next time. Guess what? You don’t. You just feel worse AND you’re exhausted.

What if you applied the same level of grace you give him…to you? Messed up your diet plan? That’s okay! Accidentally started a Poshmark shop? No biggie! Life’s too short to beat yourself up over every little mistake.

Love yourself enough to cut yourself some slack, laugh it off, and move on. You’re human, not a robot, and last I checked, no one’s handing out medals for perfection. So embrace the messiness of life and love yourself through it all.

😍 Tip 5: Embrace Your Inner Diva and Demand More

Loving yourself means knowing you’re worth the effort, the time, and the attention. Embrace your inner diva, set your standards high, and demand more from yourself and others. It’s not about being difficult—it’s about knowing your worth and making sure everyone else knows it too.

Okay, let me brag on Speed for a second because he’s absolutely earned it. This man has every single important date written down. Birthdays, anniversaries, milestones — and he’s ALWAYS the first one blowing up the group chat when someone’s big day is coming up. He brings that same energy into our marriage and honestly it makes me feel like the main character every single time. I love that man!

And before you say “wow you got lucky” — yes, I did, BUT ALSO. That’s just what it looks like when someone decides you’re worth the effort. That’s not a unicorn. That’s the standard. But it’s also what I demand.

Are you accepting less than that and calling it fine? You give so much — you plan the trips, remember the dates, buy the thoughtful gifts, hype them up like they just won a Grammy — and then turn around and act grateful for the bare minimum in return. You tell yourself you’re being “low maintenance” when really you’re just scared to ask for what you actually deserve.

Your inner diva is TIRED, babe. She’s been watching you settle and she has notes.

You deserve the same love you give — consistent, thoughtful, and completely on purpose. Embrace your inner diva, set that standard, and hold the line. Because the right people will absolutely rise to meet it.

😍 Tip 6: Celebrate Yourself Out Loud — No Special Occasion Required

You celebrate everything for him. Work win? You’re popping champagne. He finally fixed that loud washing machine? You’re acting like he built a house from scratch. And honestly, that’s beautiful — hype your person!

But when's the last time you hyped YOU like that? Not just on your birthday or after hitting some big milestone — but on a random Tuesday just because you showed up, held it together, and kept being the absolute masterpiece that you are?

We’ve been conditioned to wait for “enough.” Like our wins have to reach a certain size before they count. until our wins are "big enough" to deserve a celebration. Like there's some invisible panel of judges with clipboards somewhere deciding if your accomplishment qualifies.

So we downplay, we deflect, we say "oh it was nothing really" while internally we KNOW we just did something hard. And then we wonder why we feel chronically under-appreciated.

Um, it’s because you keep throwing your own confetti in the trash.

Your wins count. All of them. Even the tiny ones nobody else sees.

Finally sent that email you'd been avoiding since basically the beginning of time? POP. Finished a great book? CHAMPAGNE. Made it through a hard week without completely losing your mind? THAT deserves a full standing ovation, a toast, and a fancy drink with an umbrella in it.

You don’t need a special occasion to celebrate yourself. You ARE the special occasion.

😍 Tip 7: Remember You’re a Total Catch (Yes, Even in Sweats)

You know how you look at your boo and think, “How did I get so lucky?” (On the days when he’s not driving you completely crazy, of course.) Well can I let you in on a little secret?

He got lucky too.

Here’s how I know I’m a catch — and I say this with zero arrogance and all the self-awareness in the world. I genuinely like who I am. I like spending time with myself. I’m proud of my choices, my journey, and the woman I’ve become. And honestly? An amazing person like Speed could only love an amazing person back. That’s just how it works.

The same is true for you.

You are not lucky to be loved. You are someone worth loving. There’s a massive difference and I need you to feel that one in your bones.

You are smart, funny, beautiful, and basically a one-woman show of fabulousness. If you can love him on his absolute worst day — grumpy, lost, and too stubborn to ask for directions — then you can certainly love yourself on yours too.

Put your crown back on babe. You earned every single jewel in it.

You’re Worth the Love, Babe

Loving yourself as much as you love your ride or die isn’t just a goal—it’s a necessity. You deserve the same kind of love, care, and devotion you give to him every day. So spoil yourself, forgive yourself, and remember that self-love isn’t just a buzzword, it’s a lifestyle.

If you can love him through his questionable fashion choices and obsession with that one hobby you’ll never understand, then you can absolutely love yourself with that same energy.

So go ahead—give yourself the kind of love you’d give to your other half on his birthday (with all the bells and whistles), and remember: you’re worth it, queen. Now, treat yourself to something fabulous.

When was the last time you truly celebrated yourself? Drop it in the comments, I want to hear ALL about it! 👇

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1. Dreamscapes: Our Unforgettable Vow Renewal in Santorini 💍

2. ☕️ Coffee Catchup: February Came in Hot and Full of Love

3. 📚 The Truth Behind My Love of Romance Novels

Before you go…

Tap the heart ♥️ if you’re into it, drop a comment if you’ve got thoughts, and if you’re feeling extra generous, hit that little recycle symbol to Restack. That’s how this post finds fresh eyes and new friends.

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Hello, fabulous!

February came in like a LOVE BOMB and I am not complaining one bit.

Family reunions that made me ugly cry. A Valentine’s surprise that turned into an accidental extended vacation. My son showing up at my bedside with flowers. A washing machine that almost cost us $600… but didn’t. Whew!

This month had everything — and I mean everything. Love in every single form it comes in.

I’m also running a little late on the February Popstar Kit because life was just THAT full — but it’s coming next week, I promise. Good things take time.

For now? Pull up a chair. Let’s catch up. ☕

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

These last few weeks love was literally EVERYWHERE! The fun and flirty Valentine’s Day kind AND the real, full, messy, beautiful kind that sneaks up on you when you’re not looking. It showed up in so many forms this month and I’m sooooooo grateful!

1. It was in Puerto Rico, where I met up with my uncle Eduardo and my aunt Gloria — my dad’s side of the family — for the first time in decades. My uncle hadn’t seen me since I was a cute little baby, and the last time I saw my aunt was 30 years ago! My dad passed in 2006, and getting to introduce them to Speed and Max felt like something I didn’t even know I needed until it was happening. You ever felt like that?!

2. It was in a bouquet of gorgeous, colorful flowers. Max sneakily came home for a surprise extra week at the end of January — Speed flew him out without telling me — and I woke up to my son standing at my bedside with flowers in his hand. I cried and squealed and woke right the hell up! Obviously. Seriously, everyone needs to be surprised this way at least once in their lives.

3. It was in a beautiful beach cottage in Melbourne, Florida laughing the weekend away with our amazing friends who just moved from Germany to Florida. We “relived our youth” in a Taco Bell drive thru, watched the Super Bowl and Bad Bunny’s amazing performance celebrating our Puerto Rican culture, and drank delish coffee with a side of UFO. The guys would say accidentally stumbling into a beer fest was the best part!

4. It was at the South Florida Fair, eating funnel cakes and petting zoo animals while creating memories with my awesome family. We shopped from local vendors, snuck in tequila to enhance the fair offerings, marveled at how we could no longer ride anything that spins, and just had the greatest time wandering through the stalls and laughing to our hearts content.

5. It was in Bimini, Bahamas, where Speed whisked me away for a romantic and relaxing Valentine’s getaway. It was supposed to be a weekend trip but a ferry cancellation turned into three extra days of pure magic! (Full post coming soon — it deserves its own story.) Spending time together, just the two of us, in the most incredible clear turquoise waters was HEAVEN. Speed planned the entire trip himself and I must say… he gets the green light to plan more weekend trips in the future!

Love in all its forms. That's been my February — messy and magical and more than I could have planned. It just happened. One moment at a time, one person at a time. That's the thing about love though — it doesn't wait for the perfect conditions. It just shows up. So I'm asking… how has love been showing up in your life lately? The big stuff, the small stuff, all of it. Drop it in the comments. 💖

These are the things I’ve been loving this month! I may earn commissions from sales via the links below, at no extra cost to you. 😘

1// Great Women of Art Ruler* 2// Pink Festival Party Hat 3// The Mud Fair Blooming Hearts Stonewear Mug 4// CUPSHE One Piece Swimsuit 5// Stanley Quencher H2.0 Tumbler 6// Aiwa Retro Boombox CD Player w/Cassette Recorder

So after I published my 🖤 7 Paranormal Romance Worlds To Binge Right Now, I did what any responsible paranormal romance lover does — I immediately checked for new releases. And of course there was one. Kresley Cole did not disappoint with The Witch Queen of Halloween and I devoured it. Obviously.

I also read Failure to Match by Kyra Parsi and Love You, Love You Not by Jo Watson — both super cute, both very much worth your time if you need something fun and swoony.

And then there’s my current read, The 50 Greatest Love Letters of All Time by David Lowenherz — which I found for $4 at a thrift store last week and immediately knew it had to come home with me. I mean… who DOESN’T want to peek into the hearts of people in love? It’s the most intimate thing. Real people, real feelings, real words written when they thought no one else was watching. I’m obsessed.

Fitting for February, don’t you think? ❤️

This month’s playlist is giving me ALL the feelings — and not by accident. 💿

Speed and I used to make each other CDs back when that was the most romantic thing a person could do. We’re talking late 90s, early 2000s — carefully chosen songs, handwritten track lists, the whole thing. So this month, in honor of February and all the love that’s been floating around, I’ve been on a total nostalgia trip.

I found this 1999 playlist on Spotify and honestly? It should come with a warning label. Backstreet Boys, Eminem, Joe, 112, Cher, Blink 182 — it’s ALL there. Every song is a core memory. Put it on during a drive and just try not to belt out every single word. I dare you.

Can we talk about how good the content has been lately?! 🍿

First, I finished season one of The Burbs and it was so stinking cute. It follows an interracial couple navigating life in the suburbs and all the adventures (and misadventures) that come with it. Keke Palmer is in it and I absolutely LOVE her — she is hilarious and so much fun! Mostly wholesome, totally charming, and exactly the kind of show you want to curl up with on the couch.

Then there’s Eternity. Elizabeth Olsen is SO talented — I cannot say that enough — and Miles Teller never disappoints. This one sparked some really great conversations between Speed and me about what we’d do in her situation. But honestly, there’s ZERO doubt who I’d choose to spend eternity with. Watch it and you’ll understand exactly what I mean.

💛 YouTube University, we are not worthy. Our washing machine decided to give up on life and when we called for a repair quote… $600. To fix a washing machine. I immediately went into researcher mode, found the video, ordered the part for under $40, and handed it all over to Speed. Thirty minutes later + a little elbow grease = washing machine is working like new. Speed is the hero of this story and I am happily giving him all the credit. But YouTube? YouTube is the real MVP.

💛 My mother-in-law is an absolute gem. She works from home, which means when we travel she steps in to dog sit Leo and Lexi — and not just watch them, but genuinely LOVE on them. We get to leave knowing our babies are happy and in good hands, and she gets a quiet house with a pool and a hot tub all to herself. We love this arrangement!

💛 Reading glasses. That’s it. That’s the gratitude. Thank God I live in a time where I can grab a cute pair for a few dollars and actually see things again. A true miracle of modern life.

⤞ Substack Faves:

✍️ Home-ish by Imani. Imani is that friend who makes you feel like you can actually decorate your home without losing your mind or your wallet. She’s confident, full of great home hacks, and sounds like a real person doing real things in real life. No pretension, just good stuff. Love her.

✍️ Jenna Kutcher. I’ve been really loving her essays lately. She is vulnerable, articulate, and not afraid to say the thing other people are tiptoeing around. This one especially stopped me in my tracks.

✍️ Things That Make Me Happy by Sara H. The name says it all and she absolutely delivers. Start with her broke girl’s guide to TV streaming — it’s fun, practical, and exactly the kind of content that reminds you why you love Substack. 📺

⤞ Substack to Watch:

👀 Orange Tree Square Photography by Jennifer Sulla. Jennifer is a film photographer based in coastal Virginia and her work is gorgeous! Check out this post on Paris. Each photo is beautiful on its own, but together they tell a whole story. Like chapters in a book and I love that so much.

How has love been showing up in your life lately — romantic, family, friendship, all of it?

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If you made it this far…

Consider yourself hugged and caffeinated from sunny Florida. I'll be honest — February was a LOT. In the best possible way, but still a lot. Between family, travel, and unexpected home repairs, my February Popstar Kit is running a little late. But late is not canceled! It's dropping next week and I think you're going to love it. Stay tuned. ✨

Loving this?

Consider upgrading and unlocking everything—full archives, printables, and The Popstar Kit. Each kit focuses on one tiny shift with a big payoff: something that brightens your day, your space, or your sense of self. Pretty, practical, totally doable. Join the Popstars here 🎤✨

Before you go…

Tap the heart ♥️ if you’re into it, drop a comment if you’ve got thoughts, and if you’re feeling extra generous, hit that little recycle symbol to Restack. That’s how this post finds fresh eyes and new friends.

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Hello, fabulous!

Last week I shared my top seven paranormal romance series with you - the ones I’d want on a desert island, the ones I come back to again and again. Someone asked why I’m so obsessed with romance novels in general, so I wrote this essay about how a girl in a bedroom so small the door wouldn’t open became a woman who still reads romance novels like her life depends on it. Because in a lot of ways, it does. Enjoy!

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

How it started…

My love affair with reading started in third grade, but it wasn’t until middle school that I graduated to romance novels (the more tame, age appropriate variety, thank you very much!).

My mom had a friend who’d show up every few months with big black garbage bags full of books - Harlequin romances, Sweet Valley High, whatever he’d cleared from his shelves or found at garage sales. With her permission, he’d haul them into our tiny house and leave them for me, a mysterious book fairy with a questionable delivery system. It was like Christmas every time he came around!

Here’s the thing: my mom didn’t know how to read or speak English at the time, so there was zero vetting process. In her mind, books = education = any and all books were allowed. I had complete freedom to read whatever was delivered. Looking back, this could have gone sideways fast, but someone up there was looking out for me.

And then my mom did something that still amazes me: she paid for a $20 subscription that delivered four Zebra romance novels to our house every month. Some of my favorite authors that came to my door were Elizabeth Lowell, Catherine Hart, and Virginia Brown.

For a single mom stretching every dollar, that $20 meant something. But she never questioned it, never made me feel guilty about it. Books were education, and education was worth the investment.

So I’d happily take those huge bags of books and my monthly deliveries, and lug them into my bedroom, which - I cannot stress this enough - was TINY. It used to be the entryway before my mom closed it off to convert our 2 bed/1 bath into a 3 bed/1 bath home to accommodate four kids.

Worst of all, I had to share it with my bratty little sister, who was nine years younger than me and looooooved to lock me out (not cool, sis). The door also didn’t even open all the way. No wider than 45 degrees, it hit my bed with just enough room for me to slide through.

But it had a small wall of built-in shelves, which I packed with those precious books like I was hoarding treasure. Any time I could, I’d throw myself on the bed, wrestle the door closed when my sister allowed it, and disappear into a delicious story.

Those shelves opened up worlds I couldn’t access any other way.

During those glorious moments, romance novels took me to glamorous ballrooms and not-so-glamorous pirate ships. To small towns where everyone knew your name and also your business. I met brave cowboys and cocky CEOs and dark, mysterious men who said exactly the right thing at exactly the right time.

I learned that love could be complicated and messy and still work out. That women could be strong and also vulnerable. That happy endings were totally possible, even when your current circumstances said you were definitely, absolutely, very much SOL.

My physical world was small - less than 1,000 square feet split between six people and one bathroom. But my reading world was unlimited. I could be anywhere, be anyone, and live in a place where someone noticed you, chose you, fought for you.

I devoooooured those books. And for a girl sharing a cramped bedroom with her baby sister, that felt like freedom.

How it’s going…

Fast forward a few decades, and guess what? I’m STILL head-over-heels in love with romance novels! My devotion to them has never wavered, never dimmed, never died.

Not through countless military moves, the craziness of raising a tiny human, or any of those moments when I desperately needed an escape hatch from...well, EVERYTHING. These books have been right there with me through every hard transition and every moment in between!

Look, if someone forced me to choose between a steamy romance novel or the latest Oprah book club bestseller? The steamy romance would win. Hands down. Every. Single. Time.

Because even though romance novels constantly get dragged for not being “serious literature” (eye roll 🙄), when real life felt like a complete dumpster fire, these books handed me a guaranteed happy ending, usually delivered by some deliciously morally gray immortal who wouldn’t think twice about burning the entire world down for his fated mate. I mean, COME ON!

The idea that two people could decide to be together against absolutely impossible odds, fight for it, make it work, and have love actually PREVAIL? That always pulled me through when I needed it most

Why it matters…

Okay, confession time: for YEARS, I had this annoying little voice in the back of my head wondering if maybe - just maybe - I should be reading “better” books. Like somewhere out there, an invisible committee was keeping score and handing out demerits every time I picked up a vampire romance instead of Some Very Important Literary Novel That Would Make Me Look Smart.

So what did I do? I’d hide my Kindle screen on airplanes like I was sneaking contraband! I’d laugh it off as my “guilty pleasure” (ugh, that phrase). I’d start every book recommendation with “I know it’s silly, but...”

And then one day it hit me: WHY am I apologizing for something that makes me this happy?!

Joy doesn’t require justification!

These books have given me hours - no, years - of escape, comfort, and pure entertainment. They’ve been with me through big celebrations, quiet struggles, and all those in-between moments when I desperately needed to believe that messy situations could transform into something beautiful.

And you know what? That MATTERS.

Because let’s be honest - the world is fucking insane right now. I don't need to make you a list (you're living it too, trust me, you know).

Aaaaand… we’re constantly being told to stay informed, be productive, show up as our best selves, be resilient, have it ALL figured out. We’re supposed to have opinions on everything. Care about everything. Somehow fix everything. Be everything to everyone.

Exhausting, right?!

Sometimes you just need to put ALL of that down and lose yourself in a story about people falling madly in love!

And before you roll your eyes thinking "that's just running away from reality”, let me stop you right there. This isn't escapism in the irresponsible sense (though honestly, even if it was, sometimes we ALL need that too, so whatever!).

This is survival mode. This is refueling your soul! This is remembering what it feels like to that believe good things can happen, even when every headline and news alert is screaming the opposite. They’re a reminder that pleasure matters. That imagination matters.

Romance novels where love is a rock-solid commitment and happy endings are 100% guaranteed give me space to forget all the world’s craziness for a while. And when I come back to the real world, I’m SO much stronger for having that break.

What I’ve learned…

Now look, I KNOW what people say about romance novels. All bodice-ripping and unrealistic expectations and eye-rolling cheese, right? And okay fine, there's definitely some bodice-ripping happening (zero complaints from me on that front! ). But can I tell you what romance novels actually taught me?

💖 Vulnerability is the ultimate strength move. Think about it…every amazing romance features characters who put their hearts on the line, admit what they really want, and show up authentically even when it's scary as hell. That's not weakness, that's straight-up COURAGE!

💖 Women are allowed to want ALL the things. Romance novels were the first place I saw female characters who refused to choose between their career and love. Who wanted adventure AND partnership. Independence AND deep connection. They could be ambitious AND romantic. Confident AND vulnerable. Perfectly imperfect and totally winning at life!

💖 Happy endings don’t just happen - you have to fight for them. Not stumble into them by accident or cross your fingers and hope. The best romance novels show you that real love takes WORK. Communication. Showing up for each other, especially when it’s hard. And all that effort? Totally, completely worth it!

Friends, these aren’t just fun little life lessons. These are MAJOR perspectives that changed how I see the world, all wrapped up in delicious entertainment!

What I’m doing now…

Back when I first got into this genre, I’d hunt down those $7.99 paperbacks. They came with me EVERYWHERE: stuffed in my carry-on for flights between duty stations, tucked in my purse for doctor's office waiting rooms, riding shotgun while Max finished soccer practice, keeping me company during lunch breaks and quiet afternoons at home. Basically any moment I could steal away from Adulting Responsibilities, I had my nose in a romance novel!

I can still feel the weight of those books in my hands, my fingers literally cramping from death-gripping the spine because I “just needed one more chapter”, which is not-so-secret code for “I’m finishing this ENTIRE BOOK right now and no one can stop me”.

These days, the Kindle app is my bestie, but guys, the ritual is EXACTLY the same: crack open that story, step right through the portal into another world, emerge hours later completely emotionally hydrated and ready to tackle life again!

And I’m done apologizing for it!

That little girl in the too-small bedroom with the door that wouldn’t open all the way figured out that stories could deliver things real life couldn't always guarantee: hope when things felt hopeless, escape when walls closed in, endless possibility when her world felt impossibly small.

Well, guess what? I still need that. Maybe now more than ever!

So here's what I'm doing this January - reading ALL the romance novels without a single shred of guilt or apology! Give me the sweeping contemporary love stories! The historical romances with dukes in tailcoats and ballgowns swishing across marble floors! And OH YES, those delicious paranormal ones with immortal beings who'd literally burn the entire world to ashes for their one true mate! 🔥

And if anyone side-eyes my reading choices and asks what I’m reading? I’ll look them straight in the eyeball and tell them it’s serious literature about love, choice, vulnerability, and the absolutely revolutionary act of believing in happy endings.

Because that’s EXACTLY what it is! 💖

Let's Get You Hooked!

Okay, so I just spent 1,485 words gushing about why romance novels are literally life-changing, and now you’re probably thinking “Great Sandra, but WHERE DO I START?!”

Don’t worry, I’ve got you! Here are some of my all-time favorite reads spanning different sub-genres, so you can find YOUR perfect match!

Quick note: I may earn commissions from sales via the links below, at no extra cost to you. The links below go to Amazon; however, if you prefer to shop on Bookshop.org click here. Heads up that not all titles are available on Bookshop.org.

If you want the classics that started it ALL: Elizabeth Lowell, Catherine Hart, Virginia Brown - These were my Zebra book era favorites, the ones that started my whole romance novel obsession! If you can hunt them down (used bookstores are your BEST friend here), they're the foundation of everything I love about romance. Pure nostalgic gold!

If you want friends-to-lovers that'll make your heart ACHE (in the best way): Baking Me Crazy by Karla Sorensen - Best friends who are absolutely PERFECT for each other, but she has NO CLUE?! This one is sweet, swoony, and will have you screaming "JUST KISS ALREADY!"

If you want epic fantasy romance with soul-deep connections: Tairen Soul series by C.L. Wilson - Fair warning: this series will absolutely WRECK you in the best possible way! The world-building is mind-blowing, and the love story will make you a true believer in soulmates. Prepare to feel ALL the feelings!

If you want contemporary romance that makes you laugh out loud: The Agitators series by Meghan Quinn - Posey’s book, So This Is War, is hands down THE funniest romance I've ever read, but you gotta start with Book 1 because his is Book 5! These books are pure joy + heat + hilarity. You WILL laugh until you cry, I guarantee it!

If you’re secretly (or not-so-secretly) dreaming of a hot billionaire: Billionaire romances by Annika Martin - These are smart, funny, and completely swoon-worthy! Because honestly, who DOESN'T want a billionaire who's actually kind, strong, AND ridiculously hot?! Start with The Billionaire’s Wake-up-call Girl and thank me later!

If you want gorgeously written fantasy with South Asian inspiration: The Gilded Wolves or The Star-Touched Queen by Roshani Chokshi - Her prose is SO stunning you'll want to underline every other sentence! Seriously, the writing alone is worth the read, and then you get an amazing story on top of it!

If you want rom-com vibes that’ll make you smile: Love You, Love You Not by Jo Watson - Funny, sweet, and absolutely delightful! Perfect for when you need something light and happy that’ll put a smile on your face.

If you want addictive romantasy you can binge: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas - Yes, like the rest of the entire world, Book 2 (A Court of Mist and Fury) is my favorite! But you gotta start with Book 1 - trust me on this, the payoff is INCREDIBLE! (Also: Throne of Glass and Crescent City are both amazing if you want more SJM)

If you want storytelling that absolutely hooks you: Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor - The way this woman weaves a story is actual MAGIC! You will not be able to put this down. Don't even try to fight it!

If you want an OG romance that will make you cry (in the best way): A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux - This was one of the very first romance novels that made me ugly cry! Time travel, heartbreak, and a love story I've literally never forgotten. Have tissues ready!

If you want SPICY contemporary romance that turns up the heat: Give Me More by Sara Cate - This throuple romance is absolutely SCORCHING! 🔥 If you're ready for serious steam and a story that'll have you fanning yourself, Sara Cate delivers! Fair warning: keep a glass of ice water nearby!

Bonus: If you want a romance writer right here on Substack: Cali Mann - She's here on Substack AND she gives away free books all the time! How amazing is that?! Definitely worth a follow!

Start with whichever one calls to you - there’s literally NO wrong choice here! Just different flavors of guaranteed happy endings! 💖

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1. The Teacher Who Changed My Life 💌

2. 🖤 7 Paranormal Romance Worlds To Binge Right Now

3. 🌟 How to Start Creating a Vision for Your Dream Life In 30 Minutes or Less

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Send this to your book-loving friend who needs permission to read "trash." Forward it to your sister who hides her Kindle screen. Share it in your group chat with the caption "THIS IS US." Let's make 2026 the year we stop apologizing for what brings us joy! 💖

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Hello, fabulous!

In this edition of Dreamscapes, I’m serving you a little calm on purpose. Today’s theme: soft white + quiet joys. Think hush tones, slow mornings, and the kind of quiet that makes your shoulders drop two inches without you even noticing.

The world is being… a lot right now. Loud. Messy. Anxiety-flavored. But right here, right now, you get a tiny pocket of peace. Pick one section, stay for two minutes, and let it lower the volume in your head.

Consider this your reminder that you can breathe, you can soften, and you can step into something quieter for a few minutes. Let’s chill together. 🤍

#PeacefulPalette

Even though I love a bold look, white is my comfort color. It grounds everything and gives my brain a nice break. These whites, blues, and grays feel soft and fluffy, like cozy texture through the screen. Clean + tactile = nervous system reset.

How do you feel about white: calm and clean, or “absolutely not, I have opinions”?

#EasyListening

When your brain needs a little quiet, just press play, let your shoulders drop, and enjoy this playlist (it’s my go-to). There’s something so comforting about playing songs that you can sing along to so you can just zone out.

Set a 3-minute timer, pick one song, close your eyes, and just… breathe.

#SoftScroll

Whenever my anxiety starts climbing, I do a little photo scroll through my happiest memories. This one, me and Speed absolutely cracking up at our vow renewal, never fails to make me smile. 🤍

Find one photo that makes you smile and text it to someone who was there with you.

#CozyDetox

These are all things I’ve done myself and highly recommend to disconnect for a while. Especially cuddling with your mom!

Pick the easiest thing on this list and do it in the next hour.

#FavoriteThings

The Veiled Virgin by Giovanni Strazza (1818–1875) is one of the most incredible art pieces in the world. It blows my mind that humans can make stone look translucent. I could stare at it all day.

Find something you can stare at all day and enjoy it for a while, just because.

This light fixture is gorgeous and lives in my favorite breakfast spot at home. Something about looking at it just settles my nervous system. Probably because it reminds me of the beach aka my favorite place to escape for a day.

Look around the room you're in right now. Find one thing that makes you happy and take a photo of it, then drop it in the comments.

Croatia permanently lives in my heart, and this video is from our very last night there. The sky was showing off, the water was pure magic, and I’ll never forget how peaceful I felt in the little hush right before and right after I hit record.

Think of your most peaceful memory and replay it in your head for 30 seconds.

Funnel cake is ambrosia from the fair gods. It's so light, just the right hint of sweet, and oh so decadent. The soft, powdered sugar dusting makes it feel like eating a cloud that's been kissed by carnival magic. Pure bliss!

Order, make, or grab something purely indulgent today. No guilt. Just pleasure.

My favorite way to unwind is actually to take a “Duvet Day”. Stay in bed or the couch. Do nothing productive. Read, scroll, nap, Netflix and chill… anything goes. Wear pajamas all day. Or a robe. Or nothing at all! The point is to disappear for a day and pretend like the outside world doesn’t exist.

Block off 2 hours this weekend for absolutely nothing. Put it in your calendar right now.

#Unfiltered

Lexi gets all the spotlight in my Notes, but Leo is my quiet little love. He’s shy, deeply food-motivated, and fully convinced every leaf that blows past the house is a legitimate security threat. Loving on this sweet little guy brings me so much joy!

Go love on your pet, then come back and drop a photo of your fur baby in the comments… I wanna love on them too!

Hello, fabulous!

Quick check-in from the land of “I did not ask for this timeline.”

You know what I’ve been hearing a lot lately? Some version of “I just can’t anymore.”

Can’t read the news. Can’t argue with relatives. Can’t perform the right level of outrage on the internet. Can’t keep track of who’s problematic this week. Can’t make it make sense.

I get it. I really do.

Politics has become this thing where you’re supposed to have an opinion on everything, immediately, with receipts, or you’re part of the problem. Where one wrong word gets you dragged. Where both options feel bad so why bother choosing. Where it all feels like performance anyway—everyone’s just yelling into the void and nothing actually changes.

So you’ve muted it, or you’ve decided “both sides are terrible” and peaced out. Or maybe you’re just so tired of being angry that you’d rather focus on things you can actually control, like your sourdough starter or whether to get bangs.

I’m not here to shame you for that. I've been there too. Some days I'm still there.

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But here’s the thing I keep coming back to that won’t let me fully check out even when I really, REALLY want to: opting out doesn’t make you neutral. It just means someone else is making decisions for you. About you. About the people you love.

And right now, the ones making those decisions are conducting illegal mass deportations of immigrants, silencing the press, treating the Constitution like a rough draft, and openly saying they want to be dictators “just for a day.” (It’s never just a day.)

I’m not both-sidesing this because I can’t. I spent over 20 years in uniform defending the Constitution—not a person, not a party, the actual document. The idea that we're all equal under the law. That rights aren't gifts from leaders, they're guarantees. That power gets checked, not worshipped.

When I hear leaders start talking about terminating the Constitution or using the military against American citizens, that’s not normal political disagreement. It’s personal. It’s a betrayal against everything I believe in and our country’s democratic ideals.

And look, I know you’re tired. I know it feels like too much. I know you didn’t sign up to be a full-time activist or policy expert or professional opinion-haver.

You don’t have to be any of those things.

But you do have to understand this, and I say it with all the love I have: stepping back because it all feels too much doesn’t protect you. It doesn’t protect your kids, your healthcare, your retirement, your community, your rights. It just means the loudest, angriest people get to rewrite the rules while you’re trying to find some peace.

I know what you’re feeling because I feel it too:

“I don’t know what’s true anymore.” The chaos is designed that way. Confusion keeps us frozen, and frozen people don’t fight back.

“Everything feels rigged anyway.” Sometimes it is. And that’s exactly why we can’t afford to hand it over completely.

“I don’t want to pick a team.” Then don’t. Pick principles instead. Pick rules that apply to everyone, not just the people we like.

“What can I even do that matters?” More than you think. Way less than you’re afraid of.

Here’s what I keep coming back to when I’m overwhelmed, when I want to burn it all down or just walk away:

• We don’t threaten people who disagree with us.

• We don’t treat leaders like kings who can do no wrong.

• We don’t excuse horrific behavior just because “our side” is doing it.

• We don’t call accountability “persecution.”

• And we absolutely don’t joke about being dictators, not even for a day.

That’s the line. Not Democrat or Republican, left or right. Just the baseline for a country that doesn’t eat itself alive.

When a movement crosses those lines—when they celebrate cruelty, reject accountability, demand loyalty over law—I don’t care what party they belong to. That’s not politics. It’s the END of politics.

I’m not asking you to make this your whole personality, to have all the answers, or to never feel tired.

I’m just asking you not to disappear.

Because when good people check out, the worst people notice. They move fast to pass laws while you’re not looking. They dismantle protections you thought were permanent. And then one day it affects you directly—your kid’s school, your healthcare, your neighbor being rounded up—and you think, “How did we get here?”

We got here because regular people got exhausted and the extremists never do.

Democracy isn’t exciting. It’s not a peak experience or a viral moment. It’s maintenance. Tedious, repetitive, deeply unsexy maintenance.

Like going to the dentist or changing your oil or checking your smoke detectors. You don’t do it because it sparks joy. You do it because the alternative is your house burning down or your teeth falling out.

So if you’re thinking, “Okay, but what can I actually do that won’t consume my entire life?”—I’m right there with you.

Here’s what you can do:

• Call your representatives about one thing that matters to you. It takes five minutes. They actually count these. Your voice is data they use.

• Pick one issue and get unconfused on purpose. Not everything. Just one thing. Learn it well enough that you can’t be easily manipulated about it.

• Vote in local elections. Not just the big presidential ones—the school board races, the city council seats, the ballot measures that actually shape your daily life. Vote411.org will show you what's on your ballot and when. Local is where your vote has the most power and where most people aren't paying attention.

• Support something local: your library, a community org, local journalism, mutual aid. The small stuff holds everything else up.

• Show up once to something nearby. A school board meeting. City council. Just to see how the sausage gets made.

• Talk to one real person like they’re a real person, not a comment section or an avatar or a lost cause.

That’s it. You don’t need a law degree or a podcast or perfect moral clarity about every issue on earth.

You just need to refuse to disappear.

When you check out, you don’t escape the consequences. You just lose your voice in deciding what they’ll be. And the people who stay in the room when you leave? They’re not always the ones you’d want making decisions for your family.

If you’re ready to get involved—I’m here.

No judgment for how long you disconnected. No purity tests about whether you’re doing enough. No shame for still being tired.

Just a quiet, steady invitation to not let the worst people win by default.

We need you. Not perfect…just present.

With all my encouragement and support,

For my Popstars & Headliners:

I made you something! Two full size (8x10 or 11 x14) printable graphics you can download, print, and put wherever you need the reminder:

Stick one on your fridge. Tack one to your bulletin board. Slip one in your planner. Put it wherever you need to see it when you’re tempted to check out completely.

Because sometimes we need a visual reminder that this matters, that we’re still in this, that refusing to disappear is its own act of resistance.

Not sure where to start?

Step 1: Read this Substack post by Leona Waller. It provides a practical, clear-eyed breakdown of five simple things you can do as a regular person trying to make difference. Choose three.

Step 2: Go to 5calls.org and it hands you the numbers and a script. You can do democracy in under five minutes, wearing pajamas, fueled by spite or espresso. Both count.

Step 3: If this resonated, forward it to one friend who’s been saying “I’m done with all of it.” For Democracy.

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A quick note…I’m playing with a few new Sandrapop formats this month so if it feels experimental, that’s on purpose. Enjoy! 💖

Hello, fabulous!

My friend Jessica just discovered paranormal romance and I've been waiting my entire adult life for this conversation.

I was catching up with her this weekend. She lives in Minneapolis and like a lot of places right now, it’s been… a lot. So we’re talking, we’re venting, we’re keeping each other sane when she casually dropped this:

“I’ve gotten into romantasy and paranormal romance.”

Like, what?!! I LOST my damn mind.

I’ve been training for this moment my entire life, waiting for the day someone said these exact words to me in this exact order. New friendship level UNLOCKED.

This is my absolute favorite corner of romance, y’all. The place where love gets dramatic and delicious, and also occasionally tries to kill you. The genres where a man can be immortal, morally questionable, and yet still deeply committed to you, to the point of absurd devotion. It’s the perfect spicy combination.

Of COURSE I had a million recommendations! I promised Jessica a list, spent way too much time curating my favorites, and then realized: if she needs this, you probably need this too.

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If you’ve ever been curious about paranormal romance but didn’t know where to start, this is for you. If you loved Twilight back in the day and are looking for grown up, spicier versions of Edward and Bella, this is for you. If you just want to understand why I’m the way I am about fictional men with fangs and commitment issues, this is DEFINITELY for you.

Grab yourself a little something to cool down (you’ll need it) and let’s get to it!

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

🎶

I also made a Spotify playlist that matches the vibe of these series perfectly. Moody, intense, and a little "I probably shouldn't fall for this vampire" energy. Perfect.

Quick Definitions

• Romantasy = fantasy-world-with-romance-front-and-center (think ACOTAR, Fourth Wing)

• Paranormal romance = our modern world… but make it supernatural (vampires, demons, angels living among us)

I love both, but today we’re focusing on paranormal romance. Think of this as my “if you like your love stories with fangs and fate and the occasional apocalypse” starter pack.

The series on this list are my OGs. They paved the way for everything that came after, including the romantasy books dominating BookTok right now. But before Rhysand and Rowan, there was Lothaire and the Lykae and a whole pantheon of vampires, demons, and immortal warriors who taught me I prefer my romance with danger, devotion, and A LOT of “burn the world down for you” energy.

(One of the reasons I fell for Speed is because he’s the most romantic regular man I’ve ever met. He had to be, to compete with literal immortals. 😍)

Choose Your Fated Mate

I’m giving you where to start + my fave + the vibe so you can pick based on your mood.

• If you want chaos and banter and immortals who are emotionally unwell → Immortals After Dark

• If you want found family and guaranteed spice and “touch her and die” energy → Demonica

• If you want epic angst and mythology and tortured heroes → Dark Hunter

• If you want angels with power and politics and tension you can taste → Guild Hunter

• If you want guaranteed spice and brotherhood vibes and emotional carbs → Black Dagger Brotherhood

• If you want apocalypse romance that somehow works → The Four Horsemen

• If you want Greek myth meets modern danger and protective heroes → Eternal Guardians

I've also included a song pick from the playlist that perfectly captures each couple's energy—the angst, the longing, the "I would burn the world down for you" energy.

Okay. Now let’s get into the Hall of Fame.

Immortals After Dark by Kresley Cole is my #1 paranormal romance series because, frankly, it cracks me up! It’s the perfect mix of funny, sexy, and smart.

She gives you immortals that are powerful and dangerous, but they’re still petty and jealous and emotionally unwell. This makes them feel totally human… like you can meet them at the coffee shop and bond over why therapy is great, but so is imagining your enemy getting cursed by a vindictive forest witch.

I started with No Rest for the Wicked, immediately got hooked, then went back to read the series from the beginning. Once you realize you’ve accidentally walked into an entire paranormal universe with werewolves and vampires and demons and lore that goes on forever and ever, you have two options:

1. pretend you’re normal and walk away

2. surrender fully and immediately

OF COURSE I chose surrender.

There’s something about the contrast of “I’ve lived a thousand years” with “I’m going out of my mind because you looked at someone else” that absolutely works for me.

All the characters are amazing. Nïx, the self-proclaimed Ever-Knowing, Soothsayer Without Equal, General of the New Army of Vertas, is my favorite female character of the entire series because the shit that comes out of her mouth is wild. One of my favorite more tame Nïx quotes: “I prefer predeterminationally abled, thank you.” A woman that makes up her own words is a soul sister.

But Lothaire, The Enemy of Old, is my absolute favorite in the series.

Listen. He wasn’t just arrogant - he was deadass cruel. He abducts Ellie and treats her like an animal because he believes she is beneath him and wants to use her body as the vessel for his long-dead bride. But because he’s such an asshole to her and so resistant to the thought of her being his true love, the entire time you’re reading his book, you’re wondering, like, how’s this going to work? How is the author going to make him falling in love with Ellie believable??

And yet she does! And you loooooove it. His story arc was so satisfying! IMO, it’s one of the best reformed bad boy stories in this entire genre, especially because he was so committed to his initial mission so you know it took a lot for him to do a 180 for Ellie. Or maybe “reformed” isn’t the right word, because he was STILL an asshole and cruel, but not to her and she absolutely brings him to his knees. Not to mention, the S-E-X was H-O-T.

If you’ve never read paranormal romance, I do highly recommend you start with this series. This is the blueprint. This is the series that will make you realize you prefer your romance with a side of ancient prophecy and occasional soul-stealing schemes.

In Larissa Ione’s Demonica series, demons run a hospital in the underworld. That’s the hook, and it is a good one. But what keeps me coming back - what made me fall completely in love with this world - isn't just the premise. It's the way Ione builds this world so thoroughly that you feel like you actually live there.

Like you could walk into Underworld General Hospital and know exactly where the supply closet is, which demon works which shift, and who's having drama with who in the break room.

It’s Grey’s Anatomy meets Supernatural, except everyone’s immortal, morally complicated, and the medical emergencies involve things like, you know, “cursed demon blood” and “accidental soul extraction.”

You also get invested in all of the characters, even the secondary ones. Everyone's carrying wounds. Everyone's one bad day away from a breakdown. Everyone needs therapy, but they'd probably stab the therapist.

The vibe is hot, dark, fast-paced, emotionally satisfying, and just structured enough to make your brain happy. The heroes have been through hell. Literally. They've got scars, damage, and coping mechanisms that would make a therapist weep.

And the best part is that the love stories don't erase their damage or magically fix them - they work with it. The characters claim each other anyway, bruises and all. Which I really like because real people ARE damaged. Sometimes we’re emotional crime scenes walking around pretending we’re fine, and we need to know we can be loved in spite of it. We deserve to be loved even when we’re not healed.

Reaver and Harvester, perfect examples of imperfect people, are two of my favorites in this series. In his book, Reaver is an angel with a forgotten past, a tortured family history, and a heart he doesn’t even know how to access until he has to. Harvester is a fallen angel who’s been embedded deep undercover in hell for centuries, pretending to be cruel and heartless while secretly protecting the very people she’s supposed to betray. She’s been tortured, broken, discarded…and STILL gets back up swinging.

They shouldn’t work. They don’t work - on paper. But on the page? Fireworks. Because they’ve seen the worst in themselves and each other, and they choose each other anyway. They forgive what can’t be forgotten. They fight through rage and guilt and history and still manage to fall in love like they’ve never been hurt before.

Their story has the kind of payoff that makes you want to stand up and clap in your living room, like you just watched the Game of Thrones finale - but this time they actually stuck the landing, gave us closure, and didn’t ruin eight years of emotional investment. (Reaver is Book 10, by the way. Worth. Every. Page.)

Honestly, these books give me everything: heat, heart, men who are terrifying to enemies but devastatingly devoted with the woman they love, and the kind of obsessive loyalty that would be a red flag in real life but in fiction? Perfection.

That dynamic will always do it for me. AL-WAYS.

I started with Acheron, which is a fun way to enter Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark Hunter universe because it’s not just a book, it’s an emotional event.

Dark Hunters are immortal warriors who sold their souls to the goddess Artemis in exchange for one act of vengeance. Now they protect humanity from soul-sucking demons called Daimons, fighting every night for a world that will never know they exist.

It's Greek mythology colliding with modern-day New Orleans, and the setup is addictive: cursed immortals, ancient prophecies, gods with petty grudges, and love stories that span millennia.

Acheron is the leader of the Dark Hunters, a silver-eyed angsty Atlantean god where you’re like: Sir… who hurt you? (Answer: everyone. Repeatedly. For centuries.) He’s the full package of mythic tragedy and ride-or-die devotion - a god forged in heartbreak who still chooses to protect people over punishing them.

His backstory is devastating (trigger warnings galore), but that’s what makes his love story so earned. He’s not a perfect, brooding alpha…he’s a deeply wounded immortal who thinks he’s unlovable, and yet when Tory sees him - the real, broken, scared him - she doesn’t run.

His power is epic, but his restraint is what makes him unforgettable; he could end the world but would rather hold your hand and quietly make it better. And that’s the fantasy.

Acheron is Book 12 and can be read as a standalone; however, his story was SO good it made me want to start the series from the beginning. It’s still my favorite book in the entire genre and one of the few I’ve ever reread multiple times.

Then there’s Styxx. I was completely convinced he was evil through and through. He’s Acheron’s twin brother, super hot, but that’s where the similarities ended…or so I thought!

Then I read Styxx and got his origin story…Ugh, I’ve judged too soon! He wasn't the villain. He was the scapegoat. He wasn't just a smug twin with a superiority complex. He was used as a pawn by their mother, shaped by brutal circumstances, and basically paid for other people's choices his entire existence.

His story arc will suck you in and is honestly just as good as Acheron’s because you’re convinced there’s no way you could ever like him, let alone love him, and yet…you do. I’ve also reread this one.

Kenyon does myth + anguish + redemption + ride-or-die love at a massive scale so, so well. Gods. Curses. Fate. Warriors who’ve been carrying grief for thousands of years and still find their way back to love like it’s a lifeline. It’s so angsty, I can’t even.

The Guild Hunter series is all about angels with wings and centuries of baggage. Nalini Singh doesn’t give you “sparkly angel boyfriend who just wants to cuddle and protect you from mean people.”

Oh nooooo.

She gives you power, politics, violence, devotion, and immortals who’ve been alive long enough to develop very strong opinions, very specific grudges, and very unhealthy coping mechanisms for dealing with eternity.

These angels are apex predators with wings. Super hot and super scary. Beautiful + terrifying = the most irresistible combo in romantasy land, and I will die on this hill. Because when you can tame the terrifying, that’s the whole fantasy, right? The idea that something powerful and lethal chooses YOU. Not because you’re safe or easy, but because you’re worth the risk of becoming vulnerable. It’s the power, the restraint, the obsession, the choice.

AAAGHHH. So good!

My favorite book is Archangel’s Blade. I’ve read it twice and it’s the one I think about the most. In this one, Dmitri has been devoted to his dead wife for centuries and Honor has trust issues because bad things happened to her that I won’t spoil here.

The whole time you’re wondering if Dmitri loves Honor for her, for what she reminds him of, or for something more complicated and haunting. And I eat this trope up because I love watching an author thread that needle - don’t just give me reunion vibes, give me proof.

Also, the Cadre of Ten adds another high stakes layer to the story. You’re never sure if they’re good or evil, or what side they’ll end up on. For example, Lijuan, one of the ancients in the Cadre, is ancient in a way that feels real and really creepy. You never fully know what she’s up to, but you can confidently assume it involves suffering, collateral damage, and at least three people making very bad decisions. Even though she causes harm, does she have good reason to? Is she ultimately justified? The only way to know is to read the series.

If you want paranormal romance with tension you can taste, a world that feels like it’s been there long before you cracked open the book, and characters who carry time like a weapon? This series is absolutely for you.

The Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward is urban fantasy romance with a capital F for formula.

Look, I know these books follow a blueprint. I KNOW they’re structured like clockwork. But sometimes you don’t want innovation. Sometimes you just want to clock in, grab your emotional support snack, and know exactly what you’re about to get: fierce energy, volcanic emotions, scorching scenes, and a hero so singularly focused on his woman that "devoted" feels like an understatement.

Oh, and the NAMES. The names are iconic. Zsadist. Wrath. Vishous. They sound like they belong etched into leather, inked on skin, or spray-painted on the side of a motorcycle. You’re not going to meet a man named Rhage at Costco, and if you do, run…or get his number. Depends on the vibe.

Ward writes men who are catastrophically broken but still manage to show up thinking, "I don't know how to accept love… but I'll figure it out. For her." Hard exteriors. Molten centers. Gets me every time.

My favorite is Lover Awakened, which is basically everyone’s favorite because Zsadist is THE template for “thought he was irredeemable until he wasn’t.” He had a reputation for sinister deeds and brutality, so wrecked he barely felt human anymore. Everyone thought he was beyond saving.Then Bella walked into his life and he waged an all-out war for his own soul. She didn’t heal him through sweetness, though. She stood firm, refused mediocrity, and made him meet her halfway.

This is peak “everyone thinks he’s lost but watch him prove them wrong” fantasy.

The brotherhood dynamic is half the draw. The found-family element runs deep. The unwavering loyalty between the male characters feels like a tangible thing alive with its own language. You show up for the romance and become emotionally invested in the entire crew.

Predictable? Absolutely. But predictable like your favorite meal - reliable and satisfying. This series is comfort in book form. Guaranteed spice. Dependable angst. Emotional carbs.

And sometimes that’s exactly what you need.

I’m weirdly fascinated by end-of-world scenarios, so The Four Horsemen series by Laura Thalassa grabbed me by the throat immediately. The Four Horsemen? Literal civilization collapse? How does romance even happen when the background noise is sirens, screaming, and societal breakdown?

Because realistically, apocalyptic romance makes zero sense. Everyone should be chronically dehydrated. Everyone should have survival as their only priority. Nobody should have bandwidth for emotional vulnerability when grocery stores are looted, there’s no toilet paper, and we’re all spiraling toward Mad Max territory.

And yet… it absolutely works. 😅

That’s the genius of this series. Thalassa takes the least romantic scenario imaginable - the actual end of days - and transforms it into something compulsively readable. I’m not embarrassed to admit I became fully invested in the personification of destruction.

Each book plays like a disaster film where you’re simultaneously horrified and lowkey rooting for the antagonist, until you realize you’ve crossed over from “rooting for” to desperately wanting him to process his pain and maybe reconsider the whole apocalypse thing.

The chemistry is intense: “I hate you but also don’t you dare look away from me.” You’re not sure if the next scene is going to be a fight, a kiss, or both.

But honestly the heroines carry these books. These women scrap, fight back, and don’t roll over for fate just because fate showed up on a pale horse with a bad attitude and excellent cheekbones.

My favorite was Death. Thanatos is ruthless, unmerciful, ice cold, and stronger than his three brothers combined, which means his love takedown by Lazarus is so much more satisfying.

He says the kind of things that sound like a death sentence… but the way he says it makes it feel like foreplay. She is NOT letting him get his way and fights him with everything she has to try to save humanity. He’s deadly, she’s motivated, and we’re all hot and bothered.

All four brothers show up in this book too, a total bonus.

It’s shadowy, relentless, and it has you thinking this is insane…while flipping pages like your life depends on it.

Last but not least is Elisabeth Naughton’s Eternal Guardians series.

The Eternal Guardians are descendants of the Argonauts - yes, THOSE Argonauts from Greek mythology - who now protect the hidden realm of Argolea (think: magical parallel Greece) from demons and threats. They're basically immortal warrior royalty with serious daddy issues courtesy of Zeus, ancient prophecies hanging over their heads, and a whole realm depending on them not screwing up.

I started with Tempted.

Demetrius is peak tortured Guardian energy, the one everyone’s a little scared of, convinced his darkness makes him unlovable. He’s spent centuries weaponizing distance, building walls so high you’d need climbing gear.

Isadora is is the half-breed daughter of a powerful Argolean, which means she’s royalty but also treated like she’s made of glass. Everyone underestimates her. Everyone handles her with kid gloves. Everyone thinks “fragile.”

They’re all wrong.

Watching him realize she’s not delicate while she realizes his walls are no match for her is oh so yummy!

The women in this series are smart, capable, and not out here making decisions like they’ve never met consequences before. They hold their own and don’t fold just because a hot immortal growls at them. They growl back. As we all should.

The setup threads Greek mythology through a contemporary world without feeling like a textbook. You get gods with grudges (Zeus is THE WORST), prophecies, ancient vendettas, and all that “your ancestor’s mistakes are now your problem” drama.

Also, there’s something about myth-based stories that just hits different because fate feels inevitable. It isn’t a passive, subtle theme in this series. You get:

✅ destined mates
✅ centuries-old enemies
✅ forbidden attraction
✅ someone who is about to sacrifice themselves and ruin my entire mood

You know it's coming, and somehow that makes it better. The brilliance is watching characters get yanked around by destiny while still having to decide. Because prophecy might throw them together, but staying together? That's on them. The gods can be petty, fate can be dramatic, but love without choice is just obligation.

If you like your romance with ancient curses, modern danger, loyal heroes, and heroines who don’t need saving but wouldn’t mind a little backup? Put this series on your list.

Why Paranormal Romance Hits Different

What makes paranormal romance so addictive isn’t just the fangs and the magic. It’s the STAKES. When he’s immortal and their love is fated and breaking up means defying destiny itself, everything feels more potent. The devotion is obsessive. The danger feels imminent. The happy ending feels EARNED because they had to fight gods and fate and their own suffering to get there.

It’s the upgraded, glow-up version of the romance novels that kept me company in my teens and 20s. I still get the same little jolt when I crack open the first page, the same dramatic angst when I’m waiting for the slow burn to finally catch fire, but now there’s magic, shapeshifters, fated mates, and the occasional world-ending prophecy sprinkled in, which somehow makes it feel so much more… MORE.

And, listen, I do NOT want to meet a vampire in real life because they’d probably be terrifying and quite frankly disgusting. But in a make-believe world they’re mysterious, clever, sexy as hell… and I AM DOWN.

That’s it. That’s the list.

Seven series that have given me hours - no, years - of escape, comfort, and pure entertainment. And now I’ve shared them with you.

Jessica’s getting this list. You’re getting this list. And if you pick even ONE of these series and fall in love with it, my work here is done.

If you’re already obsessed with these books: we’re basically best friends now and I need to know your favorites immediately.

And if you’re NEW to paranormal romance and about to dive in? Godspeed. See you on the other side. Prepare to become insufferable about fictional immortals. It’s absolutely worth it.

Next time…

I’m going to tell you how a girl in a bedroom so small the door wouldn’t open became a woman who still reads romance novels like her life depends on it. Because in a lot of ways, it does

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Hello, fabulous!

Our last newsletter was about my “oh shit” moment and the very clear realization that there is no magical “later” when everything aligns perfectly and you finally have time to chase your dreams. So today, I'm walking you through the three-step process that took me from "I should want this" to "I actually want THIS".

You'll learn how to identify your core values, shift from chasing goals to chasing feelings, and write your dream day in present tense so you can see what's already here and what you're ready to claim. Best of all, if you’re a Popstar or Headliner, you also get the very first January Popstar Kit today with tools to help you get it all done in 30 minutes or less! 🎉

So grab your coffee, get comfy, and let me walk you through exactly how I did this so you can do it too. ☕

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

How I’m Approaching 2026 Differently

Here’s the thing about January: we’re all supposed to have these big, ambitious goals figured out by January 1st, right? New year, new you, all that pressure. But what if instead of goals that stress you out, you just got really clear on what your actual dream life looks like?

I shared recently that I’m not doing resolutions this year—instead, I’m living 2026 according to 7 core values that actually matter to me. To be honest, that shift from “what should I accomplish” to “how do I want to FEEL and LIVE” has been E-VER-Y-THING.

That’s what January is about for me. Not hustling harder or overhauling everything—just getting crystal clear on what I actually want so I can start building toward it without the burnout. I spent too many years doing things I wasn’t passionate about to waste another second not pursuing my best life.

To that end, I just completed the Vision Board Workshop, and it was soooo good! I looooove goals, visualization, writing things down… but a truly inspiring vision board has always escaped me. I get overwhelmed and just never finish it. This time was different, though. Camille, being the amazing guide that she is, broke it down in a way that finally made sense to me.

During her workshop, she had us do an exercise where you describe your ideal day in detail. Like, MINUTE detail—not just what you’re doing, but how you’re feeling too. And suddenly, my soft reset had a north star. Yesssss!

I’ll be working on my actual vision board throughout January, and I’ll share it with you in a future newsletter. But for now, here are the three steps I used to get started and actually complete my “A Day in My Dream Life” vision.

Popstars & Headliners: Your January Kit walks you through how to identify your core values, shift from chasing goals to chasing feelings, and write your dream day in present tense—more on that at the end of the newsletter!

I’m going to be totally real with you: I did Camille’s workshop, wrote out my dream day in ridiculous detail, and then immediately flew to Puerto Rico for five days.

And you know what I did the entire trip? Thought about my to-do list. Sigh.

We were literally IN my dream scenario—tropical location, quality time with Speed, beautiful weather, adventure, all of it. And I spent half the time thinking about what I “should” be doing back home instead of just... being there.

And here’s another confession…I’ve been living in my dream house like I’m still waiting for the landlord to approve my paint colors.

We BOUGHT this place. Pool, palm trees, the whole Florida fantasy. And yet every time I think about what I actually want my life to look like, I catch myself thinking, “Maybe later. Once things settle. When I’m more prepared.”

Prepared for WHAT? I own the house. We’re not moving. WHAT AM I ACTUALLY WAITING FOR???

This was me, once again, playing it safe—ugh! Keeping my dreams just vague enough that I couldn’t mess them up. Small enough that I couldn’t regret them. Because if I didn’t fully name what I wanted, I didn’t have to risk choosing wrong.

It felt responsible. It was actually fear.

So I stopped and asked myself the uncomfortable question: “What’s is the obstacle here?” And the answer surprised me.

It was permission.

Permission to actually ENJOY the life I’m building instead of constantly thinking about what’s next, treating it like a waiting room for something better. Permission to want things loudly, specifically and unapologetically.

Which, frankly, totally surprised me. Because if you know me, you know restraint is NOT on the friendship menu. I’m the first to say “Why choose? Do both!” “Book the trip!” “Why not now?”…indulging is literally my default setting.

But I’ve also been living with something my sister told me after our brother died in 2023, and it’s shaping so much of how I see my midlife. We were talking about Mami and how different her decision-making process is from ours. And my sister—who is nine years younger than me but sometimes so much wiser—said:

“You have to understand that Mami has always been in survival mode. She’s had to survive so much so that’s what she bases her choices on: what is the safest thing?”

And it hit me like a freaking brick.

My mom is my hero - she’s persevered through so much hardship with grace, optimism, and joy and created a peaceful life for herself that she totally deserves. It makes sense that she operates that way. But even though my adult life looks nothing like hers did, I realized… I do that too.

I plan for the worst case scenarios. I base big decisions on how to avoid disaster, not how to build the best possible outcome. And while that’s kept me safe and successful… it’s also kept me just far enough away from making my biggest dreams come true.

Sometimes I seek permission when no one’s stopping me, or crave validation of my ideas when I just need to jump in already. Paralysis by analysis and FOMO are constants in my life that take huge effort to work through and I’ve always wondered why. Now I know! Eldest daughter syndrome. It’s a whole vibe, y’all.

Once I had that “aha” moment, though, I finally had something to work with and everything started to click. I wasn’t missing strategy—I was missing permission. And I reminded myself that I was allowed to imagine the best case scenario too.

🎤 So before we move on to the next three steps, I want to say this LOUD and CLEAR:

💛 You already have permission.

💛 You're allowed to want what you want.

💛 Even if it feels messy or unclear or too bold.

💛 Even if you’re scared.

Whatever that quiet little craving is that’s been whispering naughty or nice things to you lately? You’re allowed to follow it. Full stop.

Keep that in the back of your mind as we go through the rest together.

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Hello, fabulous!

Our last Coffee Catchup was about our huge move back to the United States and all of our adventures this summer. We had a blast! Somehow Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went in a flash, and now here we are in January, starting another year.

I’ve been working on something really special—a 2026 vision that’s less about hustle and more about actually living the life I want. Next week, I’m sharing my full “dream day” exercise, the vision board workshop that changed everything, all inspired by the 7 values I’m living by this year. It’s going to be good, I promise.

But for now? Let’s catch up on life! ☕

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app! 🌟

Coffee Moment ☕📸

Life Lately 🌟

2025 was the year everything changed and I mean everything—like the universe said “you wanted excitement? Here’s chaos with a mortgage.” 😭🤣

We moved back to the States, bought our dream house in Florida with the pool and the palm trees and all the HGTV vibes, and finally settled near family we actually like spending time with (which—let's be honest—is its own kind of miracle). And then I sat down on my patio one morning with my delicious Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino, looked around my gorgeous garden, and had the most Xennial existential crisis ever:

This is it. We're not leaving in two years.

There’s no next duty station, no expiration date on this chapter. We’re here. We’re home! OMGGGG WE ARE HOME. And suddenly I had this moment of “oooooh shit, now I actually have to build the life I’ve been talking about for the last two decades!”

For years—literally years—I blamed my job for everything. Not enough time to write. Not enough energy to pursue my passions. Not enough mental bandwidth to figure out what I actually wanted because my brain was too busy thinking about translating Chinese Mandarin and recruiting people and teaching classes and creating SharePoint sites and worrying about “did I remember to email so-and-so back?” Fun… but sooooo mentally exhausting.

And then the job went away, and you know what happened? I'M. STILL. BUSY. Shockingly busy.

The to-do list didn’t vanish—it just rebranded. Now it’s home projects, family obligations, all the invisible labor that comes with actually living somewhere instead of just passing through like a tourist in your own life. Which I’m not necessarily complaining about because I’d rather be doing what I’m doing now, but still…

This taught me the most annoying lesson EVER: there is no magical “later” when everything aligns perfectly and you finally have time to chase your dreams. That’s a huge freaking lie we tell ourselves so we don’t have to start today and risk failing.

The people who say “just start now” aren’t giving motivational cringe—they’re being devastatingly honest. Because if you’re waiting for the perfect time, you’re going to die waiting. And that's bleak, sure, but it’s also very freeing.

So here’s what I’m doing differently in 2026: I’m done treating my goals like hobbies I’ll get to “when life calms down” because life doesn’t calm down. It just changes channels—same noise, different show.

This year, Sandrapop isn’t just a newsletter—it’s my laboratory. My place to figure out how to balance the “have-tos” with the “want-tos” without losing my mind or my joy in the process.

I’m going to mess up. I’m going to overschedule myself like the overachieving eldest daughter that I am, then have to dramatically pull back and recalibrate. I’m going to share the wins and the spectacular face-plants, because tbh if I have to figure this out anyway, we might as well figure it out together and make it entertaining. So, buckle up… I hope you’re ready for a wild 2026 ride!

Snapshots 📸

Here are five ways I’m leaning into my best year.

Some links are affiliate links, which means I might earn a small commission if you buy something I recommend, at no extra cost to you.

👏🏽 Indulging in old school fun. “Going analog” seems to be the theme of 2026 and we’ve definitely caught the bug! It’s been really nice to break out the board games and spend hours together, laughing our heads off. To make it sweeter, I’m officially our family’s Queen of Monopoly, laying the smack down on my boys. #sorrynotsorry

👏🏽 Beach days are back! It’s December in Florida but you can’t even tell. The skies, the weather, the water are all GLORIOUS! We’ve been getting in some much-needed vitamin sea, which we missed out on while living in Germany (truly, one of the only few negatives). Now that we live here, we’re taking advantage of being only 30 minutes from the beach … AND DOLPHINS! My sister took this in the AM… another reason to be a morning person!

👏🏽 Traveling in our own “backyard”. Our first weekend getaway in Florida was to St Augustine for our 22nd anniversary in October and it was fabulous! Speed also went on a solo three-week road trip to Vegas, visiting friends and family along the way. Our next family trip is this week to Puerto Rico - Max was called up to try out for the U20 Puerto Rico Men’s National soccer team! We’re so proud of him! If he gets selected, our next trip will be to Curaçao in February. Please wish him luck and keep your fingers crossed!

👏🏽 Pen & paper therapy. I’ve never been a consistent journaler, but something about 2026 just feels different. I’m already obsessed with paper and pen—planners, letters, notes, all of it—so journaling feels like the natural next step. I’m using The Human Journal to keep track of my monthly goals, and it’s been way more relaxing than I expected. Totally digging it.

👏🏽 Building my art muscle. I've always been jealous of my art friends—how they bring these gorgeous creations to life from imagination to fingertips. This year, I'm trying my hand at watercolor on our covered patio. My friend Jeannie (I miss you!) had me over to paint on canvas and make glass birds earlier this year, so I finally get why artists get lost for hours. My mother-in-law generously got me a watercolor set for Christmas and I've got some booklets to guide me. Maybe I'll share some attempts in future newsletters?

Current Crushes 💘

Part of building my dream life is using products that actually make me feel good—not just aspirational “someday” things, but stuff I use every single day. Affordable, practical, and genuinely worth it. Here are my current favorites.

1// Crosley Retro Portable Speaker 2// Linea Donatella 3-Pc. Pajama Set 3// Versace Bright Crystal 4// Olaplex Hair Products 5// L’Occitane Almond Shower Oil 6// Stuff Every Coffee Lover Should Know 7// Foldable Silicone Mat for Makeup & Hot Tools 8// NYT Puzzlemania

On My Bookshelf 📚

Another thing I’m doing in 2026 is intentionally reading at least one book a week and tracking them in the Bookshelf app. Here’s what’s currently on my nightstand this week:

Y2K Betrayal by . Super excited to finish this one! Tania is a Brisbane-based rom-com author and fellow Substacker. This is the sequel to her Y2K Love, which she is kindly letting me preview before it’s released on January 14th. Look out for my review soon! Check out the book on Amazon and/or pre-order for $3.99 here.

Hill House Living by Paula Sutton. This hardcover book is gorgeous but also chock full of tips and advice on how to live more beautifully. Paula says, “I always think the best shopping experiences occur when the three ‘F’s come together: Fate, Finance, Fabulousness”. Um, hellooooo? How can I NOT love this one? If you love pretty + fabulous + practical, this one’s for you.

Tunes on Repeat 🎶

I’ve been obsessed with Spotify’s Women of Pop playlist lately. It has exactly the kind of female energy I want for 2026. You’ve got the OGs—Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Taylor, Shakira—mixed with the younger crew like Sabrina Carpenter, Olivia Rodrigo, Katseye, and Addison Rae. It feels like the torch is being passed and I’m so here for it.

Current faves: “Water” by Tyla, “Running Up That Hill” by Kate Bush (yes, the Stranger Things one), “2002” by Anne-Marie, and “From the Start” by Lauv.

TV Binge Report 🍿

Gratitude Corner 🌺

💛 Our house is a greedy, needy little biatch, but we love her and we’re so happy she’s ours.

💛 I was recently told by two different people how much they respected how close my siblings and I are to each other and to my mom. It made me feel so good, especially because I know not everyone’s so lucky.

💛 It’s not cold or snowing so I don’t have to defrost my car or shovel snow. I mean, not that I did it before because Speed did it, but … I’m grateful for him.

💛 You know those cute little ladders with three steps? I’m so happy they exist or else I wouldn’t be able to reach the top shelves of my kitchen. Or the top of the fridge. Or … anything.

Community Spotlight 🏡

⤞ Substack Faves:

✍️ Leave It to Anna. Anna is an American living in London, so of course she travels to cool places, eats well, and has great pics to show it all off! Her midweek musings are really fun and her Friday Field Trips scratch my travel itch. Check out this one and this one.

✍️ Happy on Purpose by Amelia Wilson. I just love all of it. This is the newsletter I wanted Sandrapop to be a year ago, only Amelia has done it waaaay better! So many good recommendations and insights. If you're a midlifer looking for more you, you’ll want to check it out. Start with her most popular post here.

✍️ Breathing Space by Camille Styles. I've been following Camille for a few years on her blog and Instagram. Now she's on Substack, which is amazing. I Just love her vibe and how accessible she makes intentional living look, and would love to have a business like hers one day. You can check out her vision board series and other essays like this one on her homepage.

⤞ Substack to Watch:

👀 Burnout to Balance by Casey O’Connell. Casey is a freelance writer, yoga and mindfulness teacher, and professional organizer but ALSO a fellow lover of Spain, organized spaces & lattes in cute coffee shops (we can definitely hang). Her “2025 Roundup: 10 Best Things I Did This Year” is where I recommend you start so you can fall in love with her energy too.

If you made it this far…

Consider yourself hugged and caffeinated from sunny Florida. Thanks for letting me catch you up on life and what I'm building this year. Next week, I'm sharing the full vision exercise and my 2026 dream day—it's going to be good!

Loving this?

Consider upgrading and unlocking everything—full archives, printables, and The Popstar Kit launching this month. Each kit focuses on one tiny shift with a big payoff: something that brightens your day, your space, or your sense of self. Pretty, practical, totally doable. Join the Popstars here 🎤✨

Before you go…

Tap the heart ♥️ if you’re into it, drop a comment if you’ve got thoughts, and if you’re feeling extra generous, hit that little recycle symbol to Restack. That’s how this post finds fresh eyes and new friends.

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Hello, fabulous!

Let’s skip the part where I pretend I’m making resolutions this year.

Because we all know what happens. You wake up on January 1st full of kale-fueled ambition, write out 37 bullet points about how you’re going to overhaul your life, and by the third week of the month you’re spiraling because you didn’t drink 64 ounces of water, meditate, or wake up before the sun. Again.

Listen, if resolutions actually worked, we’d all be glowing, emotionally balanced billionaires by now. But they don’t. They usually leave us feeling like we failed at something no one asked us to do in the first place.

So this year, I’m doing it differently.

No more trying to become some mythical version of myself who lives off green smoothies and gets high off the smell of gym rubber. I’m done “fixing.” I’m starting to align.

And the secret to alignment?

Values.

Not as sexy-sounding as “2026 Yearly Goals” I know. But values are what actually carry you forward when motivation dies (which, by the way, it always does). They’re your personal GPS—pointing you back to yourself when you drift.

So in place of resolutions, I sat myself down with a good cup of coffee, zero judgment, and a very honest conversation. What do I want more of? What do I want less of? Who am I right now—not in theory, not in fantasy, but for real? What feels aligned with her?

Here’s what I landed on: a list of values that will guide me through 2026 like a beautifully annotated roadmap—equal parts clarity, sass, and “don’t you dare settle.”

This isn’t about being a brand-new person. It’s about being more me—on purpose.

If that sounds like something you need too, pull up a chair. Let’s talk.

1. Integrity to Self

I’m a military girl, so my integrity meter got calibrated early. The Air Force taught me that integrity isn’t a vibe - it’s a practice: control your impulses, tell the truth, own your choices, and do what’s right…especially when nobody’s watching and you could absolutely get away with it.

Also? There’s something wildly underrated about being honest with yourself. Like, brutally honest. I’m talking, “No, Sandra, you don’t actually enjoy that, you just think you’re supposed to.”

For me, integrity to self means stopping the performative nonsense. It’s saying, “Actually, I don’t want to go to that event,” or “I’m not the kind of person who thrives on chaos and last-minute stress—I just got used to it.”

Integrity isn’t fixed. It evolves as you evolve. But you have to be paying attention. You can’t live aligned with who you are if you never take the time to meet who you are now.

2026 intention: I tell the truth, even when it ruins the vibe.

2. Excellence

I believe in excellence. I also believe in naps. And if we’re being honest, sometimes a nap is the most excellent thing you can do.

Because excellence isn’t “do more.” It’s “do what matters… better.” And sometimes the most high-performance move is closing your eyes for 22 minutes like a paid athlete and waking up with your personality restored.

In all seriousness, the phrase “Excellence in all we do” was also tattooed on my brain courtesy of the Air Force, and it doesn’t mean perfection or being the best. It means giving a damn.

Excellence, to me, is three things:

• not doing things halfway unless I’m choosing “good enough” on purpose (not out of laziness or autopilot),

• bringing heart and presence to what I’m doing instead of resentment, and

• knowing when to walk away because I’m not giving my best to obligations I didn’t choose, guilt projects, draining relationships, or “should” goals that were never mine.

This year, I’m aiming for excellence in the things that matter and when I say yes, I want that yes to mean something. If it doesn’t light me up, teach me something, bring joy, or move me toward something better—I’m not giving it my full shine.

2026 intention: If it’s not worthy of my brilliance, it’s not worthy of my burnout.

3. Self-Love

I’ll say it louder for the people in the back: YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT.

Self-love isn’t just bubble baths and face masks (though I fully support the entire spa-industrial complex). It’s not “treating yourself” because you’ve been “good”. You’re not a puppy, though they are super cute.

A lot of us have been living like love is something you earn. Like you get to be kind to yourself only after you’ve been productive enough, thin enough, organized enough, unbothered enough… perfect enough. Hard no. I’m done tying my worth to performance, productivity, or proximity to someone else’s standards. I’m just not doing that. Not in 2026. Not EVERRRRRRR!

Look, I practice what I preach. My friends all know this about me: I’m the woman who will order the oysters with caviar just because it looks like joy on a plate. I’ll splurge on the fancy coffee table book because it makes my space feel alive. I’ll spend the day in a fluffy onesie because it’s warm and cuddly and I detest living like pleasure needs to be justified.

And if you’ve read my money rules, you know this isn’t random—I choose VIP on purpose because my nervous system loves legroom and my life loves memories. I try to pay attention to what makes me feel regulated, alive, and like myself again—and I do THAT. And so should you.

2026 intention: I don’t earn my worth—I walk in it.

4. Value

Here’s the deal: value is very personal and yet totally NOT about the price tag. It’s about the return and what something brings into your life.

Some things cost money and give you peace, joy, ease, or time back. That’s value. My $7 Peppermint Mocha Frappuccinos might seem outrageous to some, but they’re basically a limited-edition cup of December joy. I drink one as often as possible during the season because this sugary delicious concoction brings me pure, unadulterated joy and makes me feel like I’m living my best life. Worth every penny.

On the flip side, you could spend a fortune on something that does nothing for you, so why bother? For me, cars are a perfect example. I refuse to spend more than $35,000 or $600/mth on a carbecause there are plenty of options at that price point that still feel luxe, have the tech I want, and don’t send my insurance into the stratosphere.

My husband? Completely different. He’d happily spend $100k+ on a car because it gives him that quiet-luxury rush…the soft leather, the confident purr of the engine, the smooth glide, and the instant main-character feeling every time he gets behind the wheel. Thankfully, he’s currently scratching that itch with a used Audi at a MUCH lower price point, but you can see what I mean: same category, totally different value.

2026 intention: If it doesn’t feel rich on the inside, it’s not worth a dime on the outside.

5. Self-Consideration

If I could tattoo anything across the collective heart of every woman (and man) I love, it would be this:

Do NOT self-eliminate.

I’ve watched too many brilliant, qualified, wildly capable people quietly talk themselves out of their next chapter. “I’m not ready.” “They won’t pick me.” “I’m probably not what they want.” Says who? Because most of the time, no one else did. You did.

More people remove themselves from the running than are ever actually told no, and I’ve been guilty of it too, mentally backing out of something amazing before I even stepped in, waiting to hit some imaginary benchmark first. Not anymore. Not in 2026.

So here’s my rule: Apply anyway. Try anyway. Pitch it anyway. Send the message. Ask for the meeting. Show up. If it’s a no, let it come from them, NOT from you.

2026 intention: I will stop ghosting opportunities before they ghost me.

6. Higher Power

Alright, let’s talk about the universe, that cosmic co-conspirator who sometimes delivers your dream on a silver platter and other times drops a reality check in your lap like an unexpected parking ticket.

I believe in asking boldly, dreaming specifically, and then trusting that the universe is either delivering what I want or preparing me for something even better. I’m famously known for saying, “The universe bends to my will.” And because I believe it, it usually does.

Of course, sometimes you pray for a breakthrough and get a detour. Sometimes you ask for alignment and get silence. Sometimes you say, “I want more,” and the universe gently nudges you to let go of what no longer fits.

It’s not always linear, it’s rarely convenient, but it’s always unfolding.

So here’s how I’m moving through 2026:

I’m asking clearly, showing gratitude before the answer shows up, and staying open, even when the universe has jokes.

If the door closes, I trust there’s a window. If the path shifts, I trust it’s still leading somewhere good. I’m not micromanaging divine timing. I’m just showing up with faith, flexibility, and the occasional side-eye when things get weird.

2026 intention: I’m trusting the vibes and minding my business.

7. Curiosity and Learning

I live and die by my curiosity. I jokingly call myself a curious chameleon because I want to know everything and try everything. Well, everything that doesn’t make me feel like I’m about to die, obviously. So no, you will not catch me skydiving. But if it’s interesting, creative, weird, or beautiful? Oh yes, please, I want in.

My brain is constantly nudging me like, “Ooooh, what’s that?!” and I’ve learned that I feel the most alive when I actually let myself follow those sparks. Whether it’s signing up for a random class, reading about some niche topic I don’t need to know, or diving into a tutorial I’ll absolutely mess up the first time, I love learning just for the fun of it. It wakes me up and reminds me that I’m still growing. But also…I hate saying no to myself.

Unfortunately, when I’m in a funk, curiosity is the first thing to go. That’s always my sign. The days start to blur, I go on autopilot, and suddenly I’m living in a loop. Everything feels… fine. And “fine” is such a red flag for me. “Fine” means I’m shrinking and I haven’t fed my brain or my soul in a while. That’s when I start to feel like a slobby little blob version of myself. Ewww, right?! I do not accept that energy in 2026.

That’s why curiosity is one of my core values. I love learning cool stuff and staying awake in my own life. It’s how I evolve, reconnect with wonder, and remember that I’m still becoming. That I’m allowed to be new at things. That growth doesn’t have to be strategic or monetized or perfect.

Sometimes, growth just looks like saying yes to the thing that makes your brain go, “Ooooh yes, please.”

2026 intention: I’m saying yes to the weird, the wonderful, and the wildly unnecessary.

Happy New Year

So there you have it—my 2026 values, in all their soul-aligned glory. 💫

If you’ve made it to the end of this very extra list (bless you), I hope you’re walking away with one very important truth:

You don’t need to fix yourself to begin again. You just need to know yourself. And that’s a journey worth taking in cozy socks, with good coffee, surrounded by people who see your magic—even when you forget.

Whether your list looks like mine or wildly different, write it anyway. Scribble it in your journal, jot it on a napkin, drop it in the Notes app while waiting for your Starbucks order—just get it out of your head and into the world. You might be surprised how powerful it feels to name what matters.

You don’t need permission. You just need a starting point. This could be yours.

Thank you for being here, for reading, for reflecting, for cheering me on through every season this year. I’m so grateful for your presence, your comments, your curiosity—and I can’t wait to keep growing Sandrapop alongside you.

See you in the new year, my fabulous friend. 2026 is already lucky to have you. ✨🥂✨

Once a week I send a fun essay, list, or random stroke of brilliance. If that sounds like your kind of inbox, come join me.

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Send this to a friend who loves a good reset and a little inspiration. And if you tap the ❤️, Substack does its little algorithm happy dance and shows it to more fun people.

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Loving what you’ve been reading? Consider going Paid and unlocking the full Sandrapop experience—every newsletter, printable, cozy ritual, and delightfully over-the-top bonus I dream up just for you.

Starting in January, I’m launching The Popstar Kit—a monthly printable designed to make life feel easier, lighter, fun, and a little more you.

Each kit focuses on one tiny shift with a big payoff—something that brightens your day, your space, or your sense of self. Pretty, practical, and built for real life (not the version of life where you have unlimited time and zero distractions).

If that sounds like exactly what you need, join the Popstars here and get your first kit in January. 🎤✨

Whether you stay free, go Paid, or join the Founding crew, I’m so glad you’re here. Thanks for showing up, cheering me on, and being part of this color-drenched, emotionally supportive corner of the internet!

Hello fabulous,

Welcome to the Sandrapop Christmas Eve Group Chat Awards - the only ceremony where the dress code is yoga pants, the red carpet is your hallway, and the acceptance speeches are whispered into a glass of something warm and delicious.

This year, we’re celebrating the real MVPs of the season: the ones who rallied, the ones who tried, and the ones who stayed calm, sparkly, and gloriously unbothered through it all.

And because you deserve something cozy, funny, and a little bit magical, I made you a gift: the Holiday Wind-Down Kit. You’ll find it tucked toward the end, right after we hand out your well-earned Christmas Eve crown. 🎁

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas full of love, light and peppermint everything.

Let’s begin.

Winner: You. Me. Us.

Acceptance speech: “I’m not spiraling. I’m styling.”

Winner: The one person who texted: “You okay?”

Winner: That one gift that’s basically a wrinkled burrito of hope. If your tape situation looks like it was applied during an earthquake - congratulations. That’s art. That’s modern sculpture. That’s a season.

Winner: The moment you told yourself: “I’ll just do a few things today.” …and then you blacked out and woke up in the Macy’s parking lot holding a bedazzled Stanley cup you don’t remember buying.

Winner:

• the “extra in a Hallmark movie” mug

• the “emotionally manipulative but so soft you forgive it” throw blanket

• the lip gloss that says “you up?” at 11:59 PM with full confidence

• the candle with Champagne taste and dollar-store trauma

• the playlist that ruins mascara for sport

• the one ornament that holds generational secrets

(If your emotional support item is “quiet,” please know I respect you as a person and also want what you have.)

Winner: The woman who said, “That sounds lovely… I can’t” and didn’t add eight paragraphs of explanation. She is powerful. She is rested. She is booked and busy doing nothing. I stan.

Winner: “I’m not doing that this year.” Simple. Elegant. Sparkly. The way those words unclench the jaw? Christmas miracle.

Winner: The moment you didn’t try to fix. You just let it be a little imperfect and watched the world keep spinning anyway. That’s growth. That’s healing. That’s hot.

Winner: Anyone who made a single decision this week and didn’t immediately regret it. You tried. You showed up. You get a standing ovation from my living room.

Winner: You, if tonight you do one of these:

• wash your face like you love yourself

• turn the lights down low and romanticize your own life for 10 minutes

• take a deep breath and let tomorrow be tomorrow

• choose softness over performance

• go to bed without “earning” it

Because Christmas Eve isn’t a stage. It’s a doorway.

And you don’t have to walk through it dragging every expectation behind you like a sleigh.

Because you’ve survived this season with grace, grit, and possibly peppermint schnapps… I made you something pretty.

The Sandrapop Holiday Wind-Down Kit is your cozy printable bundle, complete with:

• affirmation cards

• a night ritual card

• a holiday journal prompt page

Print it, screenshot it, tuck it in your planner OR ignore it now and rediscover it when the cookies are gone and you’re wondering who you are.

Sandrapop Holiday Wind Down Kit

27.2MB ∙ PDF file

Download

Affirmation cards, a night ritual card, and a holiday journal prompt page.

Download

📌 Even if your gift wrap is a mess, your boundaries are suspect, and your playlist is emotionally manipulative… you’re doing great.

This season isn’t about perfect. It’s about showing up (or lying down with intention). You deserve rest, softness, and one more Ferrero Rocher without explaining yourself.

So tonight, crown yourself. Light the fancy candle. Use the lip gloss with questionable intentions. And if anyone asks what you’re doing, just say:

“I’m accepting an award for surviving the season.”

Wishing you the coziest Christmas Eve imaginable. May your heart be full, your mascara intact, and your emotional support blanket ready for a starring role.

If this slightly ridiculous awards show made you laugh, nod, or feel even a little bit more seen, consider becoming a Paid subscriber. You’ll unlock the full Sandrapop experience: every newsletter, printable, cozy bonus, and cheeky ritual I dream up.

✨ Heads-up: Subscription prices go up in January! So if you’ve been thinking about going Paid (or becoming a Founding Member), now’s a great time to lock in the current price and treat yourself to more sparkle, softness, and ridiculous emotional support items in 2026. See the About page for details.

Whether you stay free, go Paid, or join the Founding crew, I’m so glad you’re here. Thanks for showing up, cheering me on, and being part of this color-drenched, emotionally supportive corner of the internet!

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Which emotional support item deserves an award in your house tonight?

Leave a comment

Hello, fabulous!

This week we’re headed to one of America’s oldest cities with cobblestone streets, haunted mansions, pirate lore, and now…millions of twinkling lights.

Back in October, we celebrated our 22nd anniversary with a long weekend in St. Augustine. We stayed in the sweetest little Airbnb right on St George Street, which meant we could wander all the historic alleyways to our heart’s delight. The city felt vibrant, walkable, and deliciously spooky in all the best ways.

But now that December has arrived, I kinda wish I were back under the palm trees, walking along the bayfront with a warm drink, watching the entire city sparkle for the Nights of Lights festival. So grab your hot cocoa and fluffiest throw - we’re heading back to St. Augustine, dreamy-holiday-edition style.

P.S. Sometimes, your email provider likes to play hide and seek with my newsletters by cutting them off. To catch all the juicy bits, read it in the browser or in the app!

This post includes affiliate links. Thank you for supporting Sandrapop! 💖

Hottie Tea Toddy

St. Augustine isn’t just beautiful - it’s the oldest continuously lived-in city in the U.S., founded by the Spanish in 1565. So when the holidays hit and the city lights up, it doesn’t just sparkle - it glows with centuries of charm. Millions of white lights drape over ancient stone walls, sway from palm trees, and shimmer across cobblestone streets like something out of a storybook. Every corner holds a secret or a love letter from another time. So of course that calls for something special and warm in your hands: a drink that feels like a hug, a little history, and a lot of holiday magic all at once.

Enter the Hottie Tea Toddy from local favorite St. Augustine Distillery: a cozy twist on the classic hot toddy that feels like a holiday exhale. It starts with steeped tea, melted honey, fresh lemon, and their Florida Straight Bourbon. Simple, warm, and just herbal enough to feel special, especially when the city’s twinkling and the Florida “cold front” has everyone suddenly reaching for sweaters.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 tea bag of your choice

• 1 TBSP (¾ oz) St. Augustine Bourbon Barrel Rested Honey

• 1.5 oz Florida Straight Bourbon

• ¼ cup lemon juice

• 8 oz boiling water

DIRECTIONS

1. Boil water for your tea. As water is boiling, cover the bottom of a large mug with honey.

2. Place your tea bag in the mug and add boiling water. Cover mug, and allow to steep.

3. Uncover, add lemon juice and bourbon, and stir. Enjoy hot.

Dark & Stormy

For another fun St. Augustine-inspired sip, I have to share this one from fellow Substacker . She’s been mixing up cocktails for her Cocktail Solstice Countdown series (they are yummy!), and when I saw this recipe I immediately thought: yesssss - this belongs in a St. Augustine issue, especially with all the pirate vibes. She graciously let me include it here for you. It’s called Dark & Stormy, and it’s so good.

INGREDIENTS

• 2 oz Dark Rum

• ½ oz Fresh Lime Juice

• 5-6 oz Ginger Beer

• Garnish: Lime Wheel

DIRECTIONS

1. Add the above ingredients in order in a highball glass with ice…

2. Gently Stir

3. Garnish

Collage is this tiny restaurant on the north end of the strip, and I found it through Google Reviews that were almost too glowing to trust. Turns out they were spot on. It was one of the most memorable meals we’ve ever had, and celebrating our anniversary there made it even sweeter.

The restaurant is small - about 15 tables - with humble décor that feels intimate and romantic, and the service was incredible. Every dish was stunning, delicious, and full of little unexpected touches that made it feel like we’d stumbled onto a secret. It’s not one of the places blasted on all the “Top 5” lists , which made the discovery of this hidden gem even better because if more people knew about it, it would be.

We started with Escargot and the Scallop Saltimbocca (scallops wrapped in prosciutto and sage). They brought complimentary grilled garlic, a fun change from bread and butter, then Speed had the Collage Surf and Turf (tenderloin + Maine lobster tail) while I had the Homemade Lobster Ravioli. We finished with our go-to crème brûlée (and forgot the photo, of course!). Total mouthgasm worthy and one of our Top 5 meals EVER. It was a magical little spot! We left full, happy, and a little bit proud we found it.

Talk about colorful! The historic Casa Monica Resort & Spa feels like you stepped into a Spanish-Moorish dream. Arched doorways, velvet textures, and just enough moody glam to make you believe you own 14 caftans and a crystal decanter set. Next time we’re in St. Augustine, we’re definitely staying here. We did have lunch at the hotel restaurant, Cordova Coastal Chophouse, and the ambiance was incredible.

Since it’s that most wonderful time of the year, I have to mention the annual St. Augustine Night of Lights! It’s an annual event during the holidays when the city’s historic downtown is dressed up in millions of tiny white lights draped over the old buildings, palm trees, and downtown streets from Nov 15, 2025 through Jan 11, 2026.

I love the idea of strolling the historic streets while everything glows with millions of tiny white lights, grabbing something warm to drink, and just wandering with no agenda. St. George Street, the Plaza, and the Bayfront are built for that kind of night. Here’s a great Night of Lights drone tour for your viewing pleasure:

🗓 St. Augustine Food + Wine Festival | May 6–10, 2026

Mark your calendars, friends, because this is one of those “okay, we’re definitely going” events. St. Augustine’s wine scene blends historic charm with modern flavor: think cozy tasting rooms, local wines with Floridian flair, and plenty of spots where you can sip a glass al fresco while watching the lights dance over the cobblestone streets.

If you love good food, good wine, and the idea of sipping something fabulous while wandering around a beautiful historic setting (because I totally do), put this on your list. I’ve been eyeing this festival for the tastings alone, and it’s officially on my must-do lineup. Sharing it here in case you want to plan a little trip too. This feels like the kind of weekend you come home from happy and well-fed.

More info → staugustinefoodandwinefestival.com

Ghost Tour

You can’t visit St. Augustine without doing at least one ghost tour. It’s practically a rite of passage. I’ll admit, I’m not really into spooky stuff either, but we found a low-scare, high-fun option that totally worked for us: the Riding with the Ghosts a Golf Cart Ghost Tour in St Augustine at 9:15 pm.

It was the perfect length (just long enough to get into it, not long enough to regret it), the guide was funny and full of historical gems, and seeing the city lit up at night made the whole experience feel more magical than macabre. A great way to end the day…and zero jump scares.

Other attractions we enjoyed

• Ponce de Leon’s Fountain of Youth

• Medieval Torture Museum (this was gross so don’t take little ones)

• Walk down Martin Luther King Avenue (Lincolnville)

• Villa Zorayda Museum

To me, St. Augustine style feels like soft gothic meets coastal sparkle - equal parts historic charm and seaside ease. Think black florals, flowy dresses, glowy skin lit by lantern light, and metallic flats that can handle cobblestones. It’s one of those cities where you might pass a centuries-old mansion on your way to a cute beach café, so your outfit kind of needs to live in both worlds: romantic, a little mysterious, but still breezy and walkable.

Here’s my own little collection of holiday sparkle…pieces I love that totally channel the St. Augustine vibe.

1. Replica “By the Fireplace”

2. Mac Duggal High-Neck Gathered Tulle Midi-Dress

3. Bobbies Tara Low-heeled Sandals

4. Zara Beaded Handbag

5. Charlotte Tilbury Matte Revolution Lipstick in Pillow Talk

6. Lucite Petal Leverback Earring - Black Beetle

Thanks for joining me on this dreamy holiday edition of Daytrips! This was so much fun to put together. I may not be in St. Augustine right now, but writing this helped me relive the magic from my anniversary trip AND from the kind of December I want to create: slow, sparkly, and full of moments that feel like a Hallmark movie.

If you enjoyed this little getaway, give it a like, leave a comment, or send it to a friend who needs a cozy escape.

See you next time under the twinkle lights!

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💌 From Sandra’s Desk

If you loved this dreamy little escape, consider becoming a Paid subscriber. You’ll get full access to every newsletter, printable, and bonus I share.

📌 Heads-up: subscription prices go up in January! If you’ve been thinking about going paid (or becoming a Founding Member), now’s a great time to lock in the current price and treat yourself to more sparkle in 2026. See the About page for more details.

Subscribe now

Whether you stay free, go paid, or become a Founding Member, I’m so glad you’re here! Thanks for reading, cheering me on, and being part of this colorful Sandrapop corner of the internet. 💫

Let’s Discuss

Been to St. Augustine? Or have a holiday town that lives rent-free in your heart? I’m always looking for dreamy destinations to feature. Tell me in the comments or reply to this note. I read every single one. 💖

Hello, fabulous!

Welcome to my not-so-secret stash of tools, apps, and digital lifesavers that help me plan, write, and keep my Substack running without losing my mind (most days). These are the things I actually use and what work for me as a one-woman, midlife content machine with a soft spot for color-coded everything.

Whether you’re just getting started or fine-tuning your own flow, feel free to poke around and steal whatever works. You’ll find this post tucked under “Writer Kit” in the Sandrapop navigation bar so it’s easy to come back to. I’ll keep it updated as I go, so pop in anytime you need a boost or a little inspo. Happy writing!

✨ Content Planning & Workflow

Tools that keep me (mostly) organized and my Substack flowing:

• Trello – For editorial planning + brain dumps.

• Agenda – For minimal, beautiful note-taking that syncs with Calendar.

• Passion Planner – When I want to physically write out my life.

• Metricool – Social scheduling + analytics that make me feel legit.

• James Clear Habit Journal – My favorite structured journal for goals and habits. It’s not back in stock until Feb/March 2026… but worth the wait.

✨ Design, Branding & Visuals

For when I want things to look as good as they sound:

• Canva – For everything from Substack headers to Poshmark graphics.

• Rifle Paper Co. Notebooks – For jotting down colorful ideas the analog way. You can also go to TJ Maxx and score similar ones for less.

• Staedtler Triplus Fineliners (Set of 36) – Because if the pens aren’t cute, I’m not writing. I have the set of 36 and this set of 10 for on the go.

• Pilot G2 Gel Pens – Design Collection – Black ink, gold details, writes like a dream. Pretty pens make me more productive. It’s science.

✨ Focus & Flow Tools

For when I need to stop scrolling and actually write:

• Endel – Ambient sound that makes my brain cooperate. Hit up Youtube.

• ExpressVPN – For safe, fast browsing (especially when I’m abroad).

• Bose Headphones 700 – For blocking out noise, chaos, and anything interrupting my flow. (Military get a special discount through ID.me)

• Lamicall Headphone Stand – Because cute gear deserves a cute home.

• Various books on writing for inspiration.

✨ Tech That Makes Me Feel Powerful

My desk setup is… a whole situation, and I love her:

• 13” MacBook Pro – The mothership. Small, mighty, and basically an extension of my brain at this point.

• Samsung 49” Ultra-Wide Monitor / Odyssey G9 Monitor – For split-screen writing, researching, and pretending I’m in a command center.

• Razer Huntsman V3 Pro Keyboard – The clicky kind that makes me feel productive.

• Razer Basilisk V3 Pro Mouse – Ergonomic and smooth.

• Razer Goliathus Chroma Mousepad – Yes, it lights up. Yes, I need that.

• CalDigit TS4 Thunderbolt 4 Dock – Sleek, powerful, and keeps everything plugged in without turning my desk into spaghetti.

✨ Everyday Gear & Extras

Little luxuries that make the day smoother (and cuter):

• 3-in-1 Charging Station – Keeps my nightstand tidy and my phone alive. Also charges AirPods in the back.

• Rifle Paper Co. Laptop Sleeve – Functional + floral = yes please

In Case You Missed It

If you made it all the way down here, you’re my kind of people: sticky note collectors, pen snobs, digital-daydreamers, and vibe curators. Thanks for peeking behind the curtain of my writer brain. I’ll keep this page updated, so swing back anytime you’re procrastinating creatively. We call that research around here.

Before you go…

If this made you smile, tap that heart ♥️. Got something to say? The comment box is all yours. And if you’re feeling cute and generous, hit that little Restack button so this post can strut into some new inboxes. Sharing is caring, fabulous. ✨

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